Thanks to RQ and Stephen for this article about the current state of the dating market. I thought it was a great summary.
About "opportunities for consensual non-monogamy in which a man maintains a stable of sex partners, provided he is high value and learns game"... yeah, been there and done that, and it can be a lot of fun. Highly recommended.
It is not good for society, though, when fewer people are having sex, in relationships, or getting married. Just look at the declining birth rate in rich countries.
I would like to point out that some of the details given here, like "6 figure salary (she’ll realistically accept 70-80K)" are US-centric... but the issues discussed apply to the entire western world (and even some other places like Korea and Japan, from what I have heard lately).
About age gap relationships, yes, those are the only ones worth doing, I believe. Who cares what other people think. Part of being a real man is pursuing what you believe in, regardless how popular it may be.
It's not just that scrolling on phones and playing video games is a massive time-waster. An added complication for men is that if you do not socialize regularly, in person, you become socially awkward...
And that's a big turn-off for the ladies.
I did hang out with a girl recently who made an effort to be “special” - as in being especially sexual and slutty, cooking/cleaning, giving back rubs and so on. Making herself indispensable. She had a good run, but... she turned out also to be crazy. It's a tough world out there!
>>About "opportunities for consensual non-monogamy in which a man maintains a stable of sex partners, provided he is high value and learns game"... yeah, been there and done that, and it can be a lot of fun. Highly recommended.
Want to write a guest post about it, and what you learned?
>>It is not good for society, though, when fewer people are having sex, in relationships, or getting married. Just look at the declining birth rate in rich countries.
I can buy that... there is a disjunction between what can be good/fun for the individual versus the society...
Would love to write guest posts RQ, but these days I am too busy with other projects. If or when I get more time for this stuff, you'll be the first to know.
>> Nevertheless, she feels that this is the sort of man who’s in her wheelhouse to get.
Clarky Khat exposed me to the recently viral hoe_math, who does have some useful videos explaining these subjects (with charts!)
>> Septum piercings aren’t attractive
I say the following not because it's (necessarily) true, but because it's funny and to beat @yoylo to the punch: "Septum means she f*cks on the first date"
>>how has social media made your in-person life better?
The only "social media" that's significantly helped my real life is LinkedIn---most are at best neutral, and Snapchat is one where it feels like I lose braincells every time I even think about it. Sad my GF uses it as her default, glad I convinced her to text off it.
Thanks for opening my horizons to check out Taraban, by the way.
I have to thank a mutual friend of RQ and mine who shall remain anon for the intro to Taraban--but yes he's great. Is Yoylo still out there? I hope so--the world is better for his antics. He's right about the septum: if you can get past the ugliness, those chicks will f**k. And yeah, I know I come across as a hater of social media, but I truly believe it has a terrible effect on society in so many ways and there's mounting evidence in support of that belief. My guess is we will look back on it someday in the same way we now look at smoking.
"" What’s more: despite whatever list of unreasonable demands a woman might have, if you can manage to be physically fit, well dressed, well groomed, and somewhat interesting to talk to, you can often convince her to settle for less than the fairytale checkbox her perceptions tell her to expect.""
This is bad advice for the long term relationship. The fact is, that if a woman is not head over heals in love with the man, She will end up feeling like she settled and she will be divorcing his ass in no time flat. All of my friends who married women that they had to work to get ended up being divorced. The friends that had the woman chasing him down are still married. If your girl is not hounding you day and night to get married, the relationship is in the long term, doomed
Happy reading... I think I began writing to talk about how sex clubs and non-monogamy can help men interested in the seduction arts (https://theredquest.substack.com/p/free-book)... but it is hard to talk about one thing only, cause there are so many interconnections...
I think a lot of people are struggling + suffering. Men are suffering isolation, an inability to get laid, and an inability to talk with and connect to people in real life. Women are suffering from a dearth of guys willing to be men, be bold, seduce them, and charm their panties off. Typically men are the active, selected sex, and women are the inert, selector sex. Men sell, women buy. Many men have abdicated their role in dyad and that is unfortunate for human well being.
A positive charge needs a negative charge and vice versa.
TBH I am an older married man who enjoys dabbling/reading in seduction techniques to just for fun and to help keep my wife on her toes. I believe she treats me like I want to be treated in part because of my interest in these things. She likes that I can charm people when I want to
Anyway, I do have some younger male friends from the gym and elsewhere who would agree with you about the suffering thing. The young people really are struggling to connect and there is a lot of resentment on both sides. And as much as it pisses me off that it always ends up being the man's job to fix everything, it is going to have to be the men that fix this. We both agree on that.
I get the resentment thing but the question to me, about almost anything, is "what do you do about it?" and seduction artistry is the answer. Losers complain, winners act.
Yep. Like you have written, if people want something bad enough they will put in the effort to get it. You have likely written about this already, but I'm betting that most men wouldn't have to work all that hard to get a few satisfactory dates, if they would just shoot their shot, however awkward it might be at first. Like, just do something to get the ball rolling
Thanks to RQ and Stephen for this article about the current state of the dating market. I thought it was a great summary.
About "opportunities for consensual non-monogamy in which a man maintains a stable of sex partners, provided he is high value and learns game"... yeah, been there and done that, and it can be a lot of fun. Highly recommended.
It is not good for society, though, when fewer people are having sex, in relationships, or getting married. Just look at the declining birth rate in rich countries.
I would like to point out that some of the details given here, like "6 figure salary (she’ll realistically accept 70-80K)" are US-centric... but the issues discussed apply to the entire western world (and even some other places like Korea and Japan, from what I have heard lately).
About age gap relationships, yes, those are the only ones worth doing, I believe. Who cares what other people think. Part of being a real man is pursuing what you believe in, regardless how popular it may be.
It's not just that scrolling on phones and playing video games is a massive time-waster. An added complication for men is that if you do not socialize regularly, in person, you become socially awkward...
And that's a big turn-off for the ladies.
I did hang out with a girl recently who made an effort to be “special” - as in being especially sexual and slutty, cooking/cleaning, giving back rubs and so on. Making herself indispensable. She had a good run, but... she turned out also to be crazy. It's a tough world out there!
>>About "opportunities for consensual non-monogamy in which a man maintains a stable of sex partners, provided he is high value and learns game"... yeah, been there and done that, and it can be a lot of fun. Highly recommended.
Want to write a guest post about it, and what you learned?
>>It is not good for society, though, when fewer people are having sex, in relationships, or getting married. Just look at the declining birth rate in rich countries.
I can buy that... there is a disjunction between what can be good/fun for the individual versus the society...
Would love to write guest posts RQ, but these days I am too busy with other projects. If or when I get more time for this stuff, you'll be the first to know.
Writing it would probably be like an hour...
>> Nevertheless, she feels that this is the sort of man who’s in her wheelhouse to get.
Clarky Khat exposed me to the recently viral hoe_math, who does have some useful videos explaining these subjects (with charts!)
>> Septum piercings aren’t attractive
I say the following not because it's (necessarily) true, but because it's funny and to beat @yoylo to the punch: "Septum means she f*cks on the first date"
>>how has social media made your in-person life better?
The only "social media" that's significantly helped my real life is LinkedIn---most are at best neutral, and Snapchat is one where it feels like I lose braincells every time I even think about it. Sad my GF uses it as her default, glad I convinced her to text off it.
Thanks for opening my horizons to check out Taraban, by the way.
I have to thank a mutual friend of RQ and mine who shall remain anon for the intro to Taraban--but yes he's great. Is Yoylo still out there? I hope so--the world is better for his antics. He's right about the septum: if you can get past the ugliness, those chicks will f**k. And yeah, I know I come across as a hater of social media, but I truly believe it has a terrible effect on society in so many ways and there's mounting evidence in support of that belief. My guess is we will look back on it someday in the same way we now look at smoking.
"" What’s more: despite whatever list of unreasonable demands a woman might have, if you can manage to be physically fit, well dressed, well groomed, and somewhat interesting to talk to, you can often convince her to settle for less than the fairytale checkbox her perceptions tell her to expect.""
This is bad advice for the long term relationship. The fact is, that if a woman is not head over heals in love with the man, She will end up feeling like she settled and she will be divorcing his ass in no time flat. All of my friends who married women that they had to work to get ended up being divorced. The friends that had the woman chasing him down are still married. If your girl is not hounding you day and night to get married, the relationship is in the long term, doomed
Women do sometimes flip, though...
The different levels in the discussion are interesting, though, and many ppl having these discussions, men and women, are operating at different levels, https://theredquest.substack.com/p/what-do-i-mean-by-levels-of-game-seduction-discussion
I just discovered your writing. You have an unbelievable amount of work regarding the dating scene. It's good stuff
Happy reading... I think I began writing to talk about how sex clubs and non-monogamy can help men interested in the seduction arts (https://theredquest.substack.com/p/free-book)... but it is hard to talk about one thing only, cause there are so many interconnections...
I think a lot of people are struggling + suffering. Men are suffering isolation, an inability to get laid, and an inability to talk with and connect to people in real life. Women are suffering from a dearth of guys willing to be men, be bold, seduce them, and charm their panties off. Typically men are the active, selected sex, and women are the inert, selector sex. Men sell, women buy. Many men have abdicated their role in dyad and that is unfortunate for human well being.
A positive charge needs a negative charge and vice versa.
TBH I am an older married man who enjoys dabbling/reading in seduction techniques to just for fun and to help keep my wife on her toes. I believe she treats me like I want to be treated in part because of my interest in these things. She likes that I can charm people when I want to
Anyway, I do have some younger male friends from the gym and elsewhere who would agree with you about the suffering thing. The young people really are struggling to connect and there is a lot of resentment on both sides. And as much as it pisses me off that it always ends up being the man's job to fix everything, it is going to have to be the men that fix this. We both agree on that.
I get the resentment thing but the question to me, about almost anything, is "what do you do about it?" and seduction artistry is the answer. Losers complain, winners act.
Action > talk/whining
Useful re: modern character or lack thereof, https://www.palladiummag.com/2023/03/30/a-school-of-strength-and-character/
Yep. Like you have written, if people want something bad enough they will put in the effort to get it. You have likely written about this already, but I'm betting that most men wouldn't have to work all that hard to get a few satisfactory dates, if they would just shoot their shot, however awkward it might be at first. Like, just do something to get the ball rolling
Thanks for the link. I shall check it out