The more game I've needed the worse the relationship has been

Women who want to be in relationships, versus those who don't

I was reading "Honest observations after eight years in the game" and got to thinking… the more “game” I've needed to get a particular girl, or the more I've had to run game on her, the worse the relationship has been. The ones who are bitchy, constantly testing, and most difficult can be good in bed but the relationships themselves are never the best. Those women are only good as friends with benefits, and even then the "friends" part stretches the definition of the word.

The ones who just wanted me and the sex and let everything lead into that have been the most pleasant to deal with and over time the best in bed. Over time this has become my own test: How much game did I need to get this woman? The more game, the more likely I am to jettison her or keep her in a distant rotation.

It's amazing that some women women think playing hard to get and being unpleasant to be around is somehow a way to get and keep a man: maybe they think they're somehow testing men, without realizing that they're filtering out the best guys, and the ones who stick around can't find pleasant women. Being unpleasant can likely yield up some casual sex for women, from men who persevere despite their attitude, but it's a terrible way to get a relationship. Over time, the guys who persist most will be the ones with no other options. Guys with options will find a woman who's more pleasant to be around, and "pleasant to be around" starts with the first interaction. Soiling the first interaction is often like screwing up the foundation of a building: there's no real way to fix some problems.

Women who want to be in relationships, are overwhelmingly in relationships.

Bike Girl was pleasant when I met her, pleasant in texting, pleasant on the first date, and has been pleasant since. So was the gorgeous 19-year-old I met a couple years ago and dated for almost two. Most of the relationships I've ended prematurely ended because the girl was the opposite. The more "game," I've needed, the more I realized (usually sooner) that the girl couldn't and shouldn't be anything more than a lover or FWB. The more I've felt "tested," the more I've known the girl is no good or no good for me. Next!

No wonder a lot of relationships in the U.S. are f**ked.

The best relationships emerge when it’s a seduction, a dance, a joint building project, an unfolding of mutual interests. The worst ones are adversarial. If the girl has a highly adversarial mindset, instead of a generative mindset, a win-and-help-win mindset, then she’s going to have problems. Most of us get out of relationships that which we bring to them. The guys with serious problems, get problem relationships. Same with women. The seduction arts, at their best help teach guys to jettison their problems and bring solutions to relationships. For so many girls, boredom and tedium are their most tremendous problems… and they need a guy to help them out of that state. A lot of guys need to learn to be insiders or outsiders, but not average.

This isn't an "actionable" post and doesn't matter much for guys who want to hit 'n' run. But guys who are still being chosen, rather than being the choosers, should know that your whole world changes when you do more choosing. You learn a lot, quickly.