Learning seduction artistry from a lad podcast, THE UPSHOT

A lot of guys need an attitude adjustment.

I’ve listened to some episodes from a lad soccer/sport podcast, THE UPSHOT, and it makes me think about what the guys who are deliberately learning the seduction arts miss. Most of the guys studying the game have a number personality challenges that must be surmounted to succeed...

• Too much anxiety. Too much worry.

• Not enough assured insouciance.

• Too heavy a touch, when a light touch is often needed.

• Too focused on being right, on the literal words being said, and too little focus on subtext, and what is really being said. Women operate in the realm of feelings. What feelings you evoke in her will likely determine the outcome of the interactions.

• Too little sense of infectious, normal fun. Too little sense of “girls just want to have fun.”

• Too little contrast. Too little sense of insider-outsider, and too much average.

Famous athletes, it’s true, live in a different world from normal guys. But what are they getting right, that we can learn from? What are a lot of the guys writing about the game online getting wrong? What do they convey attitudinally that normal guys don’t? Some of their success is simply from being high T and not being whiny. Much of their confidence derives from winning on the sport pitch, but how much do normal guys focus on winning along some dimension, and use that winning to fuel confidence with women? Winning at video games doesn’t count. A little winning goes a long way. Women love winners. Guys convey who they are in everything they do and say.

I’ve listened to a number of the episodes and one thing sticks out to me... I don’t understand why all these sport stars marry. Why not just... not... and then deny the tabloids some of the hypocrisy oxygen they live off? The simple answer may be that most sport players are not thinkers and live in the moment, which has some good elements but many bad. The nerds who study seduction arts often need help living in the moment, while the sport stars need help thinking ahead.

The sport stars have weaknesses of their own, like “not thinking.” They are famous and often wealthy, which can take the place of game. Even when very young, they are often locally famous for their exploits. Intelligence applied intelligently attracts many women. I’ve been with many women who like that I read, think, etc., but they also like that I have good masculine presence (part of me being “insider” and also “outsider”). Unlike normal guys, sports stars don’t have to learn what works with women, since they are already famous.

I’ve hardly ever seen any of the tone and attitude from sports lads in the seduction-arts communities. We could use more. It’s not the only attitude to have but it’s one and can be effective. I lacked it when I was a lad and now have more of it that I’m older.

Attitude is one of the trickiest things to teach and change. How you relate to and think about the world is related to how you relate to and think about other people. Girls just want to have fun. Imprint it on a card and look at it periodically. Sing it in the shower. Are you fun? Why or why not? Girls have lots of not-fun in their lives, why do they need more.

Guys need to have more fun, be more interesting, and be less linear/boring. Apart from THE UPSHOT, this is one podcast on women’s sexual fantasies, covering similar ideas.

The episode on Shane Warne, who played something called “cricket,” which is sort of like baseball but not exactly, is a good, entertaining place to start.

Leave your learnings from the podcast in the comments.