What you do every day is what you really want

The guys who get hot girls develop atomic habits consistent with getting hot girls

I was chatting with Zach, and he said that he wants to f**k 9s.[1] Fair enough, what man doesn’t? But his comment got me thinking, and I said, “There’s a huge difference between what people casually want and what they truly want.” I “want” $10 million, to visit Antarctica, to get the price-per-kg of mass launched into space way down, to radically increase human health and longevity, to sleep with the hottest women, etc. Doing all of these things at once was (is still) near-impossible for me. What matters is not what I say I “want,” but what I do every day. Judged by that standard, I’ve wanted to learn how to sleep with a lot of hot chicks and I’ve wanted to make enough money to be comfortable, without interfering too much with goal #1.

And that is largely what I’ve achieved. Whether that goal was / is worthwhile is a separate question, but it’s encoded in my daily activities. F**king 9s is a tremendous challenge for most of us... and there’s a secret among the fraternity of guys who’ve f**ked 9s: once a girl is above a certain level of hotness, probably a 7, chemistry matters more than her pure hotness. Obviously, the girl being hotter is better than her being less hot. But the best experiences often aren’t with the hottest girls, they’re with the girls who have the best attitudes and the greatest compatibility with you.

Like “money doesn’t automatically result in happiness,” a lot of guys can’t learn and internalize the lessons about chemistry and compatibility until after they’ve f**ked some super hot girls and discovered that, ten seconds before they nut, or five minutes after, girls above a certain baseline hotness are more alike in critical ways than not, and the differences between them are more about you and her than they are purely about how hot the girl happens to be. Me writing this is probably futile, cause until a guy experiences this effect for himself, he probably won’t buy it and thinks I’m full of shite.

Most guys who “want” to f**k 9s, however, aren’t engaging in the daily behaviors that build the skills and abilities necessary to f**k 9s, so they’ll never learn the lessons. There are lots of potential things to want in this world and most guys want to stuff their faces with simple carbs, get the phony achievements of video games, passively watch TV, etc., more than they want to f**k hot chicks. Probably the goal/dream of f**king hot chicks is so far off that most guys never seriously start the process of building the skills necessary to achieve that, like I’ve never seriously started building the skills necessary to reduce the cost-per-kg of putting mass in space.

No one has infinite time or hours, and I’m not saying you have to be a superman to f**k 9s. You don’t, but most guys never f**k 9s, because they’re not appealing to 9s and not seriously trying to be. Most guys lack quality game. Think about a typical guy. After work, you might think about whether you want to go to the gym (get fitter and hotter) or go to the bar (hit on chicks). Maybe you can do both, but often you can't, or, if you do, you won't be able to get enough sleep, and then you'll be worse at work and have problem there. Some guys will be able to do both and that’s great, but they’ll probably have to sacrifice some other goals to achieve both.

Guys who are more energetic and efficient can obviously do more. The "efficient" component of that equation is why I often denigrate TV, YouTube, video games, social media, watching sports, and other low-quality time sucks... those types of things can have their place for moments when you deliberately want to relax and veg out, but a lot of people waste their one and only lives on them, and never do the things they think they really want to do.

All of us know people who spend their lives on this kind of crap and so never get to where they should. Many of those people are frustrated by their low-grade life experience, but the worst of them have become anesthetized or depressed that they don't even realize the work-Instagram-Call-of-Duty-microwave-pizza loop is terrible and meaningless. It's also, if not outright repellant to women, then not attractive. Their later lives are characterized either by denial about how they’ve wasted their life, or by the realization that they spent time on consumerist trivialities instead of the fullness of human life.

To do really well with women, you should either be really good at self-delusion (“I’m awesome, the hottest women want me,” that kind of thing) or really good at self-honesty. Most people hover in the awkward middle. The reality-distortion-field strategy can work and so can the honesty strategy. Guys interested in the seduction arts typically prefer the honesty road, because that’s what enables guys to break down how seduction works and then replicate its steps. But look around in the wild at naturals and you’ll often see a tremendous, effective level of self-entitlement that leads to epic blowouts and epic successes.

What you do every day is what you want. I’m repeating it because it’s the main lesson, and because a lot of people (most?) don’t truly understand and incorporate this into their lives. I don't know this for sure, but, although Zach is making progress, for a long time what he did was not consistent with truly wanting to f**k 9s. What he's doing today might be... I don't know enough to say... only he knows that. And I don't need him to tell me. I'm not his boss, and he knows for himself what he most truly wants, based on what he does. Most of us lie to ourselves most of the time.

The best way for a beautiful woman to show her approval and encouragement is by spreading her legs; for everyone else, there is the paid subscription.

[1]I say of 9s,

9s are like 8s but with ideal, hourglass proportions, youth, and a pretty, symmetrical face. Very few 9s persist past age 26, and almost none past age 29. 9s are rare. If a guy claims to be regularly dating a bevy of 9s, he has an inflated sense of value or is himself very rare, like a high-level entertainer, etc. I see, anywhere, very few 9s. Unless a guy works in something like fashion, beauty, acting, etc., he is not going to meet many 9s. Once you get into the high-8, low-9 territory, distinctions also stop mattering very much... she is really f**king hot. Debating whether she's a "high 8" or 9... pointless. Every straight man wants her.