“the deeper ability to bond with other people, especially women, is going to be found in a therapist’s office”

Is this true, either in principle or practice? I suspect anyone at the level of self awareness and literacy to be reading this article would be poorly served by therapy.

Without actually *bonding* with someone you cannot learn. While working on removing behaviors that act as barriers and learning behavors to bridge gaps is going to be (in principle) achievable from therapy, therapy is likely peak ‘blue pill’ so it will be a mixed bag and you will learn some anti-skills (I’ll ignore possible gains from sex therapy/surrogacy, this seems at least potentially useful for big wins on bonding and physical intimacy if someone is at a very low level; a red quest reader in a state where this is legal or otherwise tolerated would do us a favour by trying and reporting their experiences back in a guest post(s))..

I suspect a pet, to learn some basic responsibility and *actually* bonding, supplemented with judicious exposure to role models (books, video, real life if possible; for example, reading ‘uncle red quest’) would go much further. If you cannot bond with a pet, with many basically bred for the human-animal bond, you are not going to reliably attract a healthy enough woman for long enough to be able have healthy experiences to learn bonding.

If someone is squarely in ‘bottom world’ they are in for a rough time getting out. Therapy is expensive and much of it plain wrong, but if one is severely broken any intervention to limit negativity and help you identify self defeating behavior is going to be important—and you likely have no access to functional people in your life so you are buying access to a limiting factor to your success. If one is near the top of bottom world I’m not sure therapy is a clear win and might limit rather than accelerate growth. I doubt anyone who can read this blog (with the necessary attention span, awareness, literacy, desire to change, …) is deep in bottom world.

Of people I know who have relied on therapy in making life changes/choices there are mixed results, with some disastrous outcomes where their life was made harder (family, finance, work, social standing, and other losses) based on blue pill views that are laughable bad. The main positive outcomes are mainly “get through a bad time without topping oneself or making other rash decisions”. But the typical case is chronic use of therapy as an outlet and keeping themselves convinced their choices are good (often essentially outsourcing choice and responsibility to “experts”); those cases often seem to be an anxiety reduction holding pattern. I am not aware of anyone I know personally who actually had major positive life changing improvements due to therapy, though most people I talk to about these matters are middle to upper middle class so have less need or desire (these are obviously related) to make such dramatic change and improvements. But “learning bonding” is going to be a much harder problem than “not topping oneself after a limited setback to a success and relatively easy life”, I just don’t see the typical therapist helping beyond getting someone closer to *zero* and ready to start positive gains, and I don’t see them doing this that effectively.

I’m pessimistic in that I think problem’s people have are near impossible to significantly change, at least on the time scales we want to hear about. That’s why they are a ‘problem’. Our expectations also often have to have a serious (downward) recalibration. Half decade minimum of hard work, with limited positive feedback, and all to each a level below what we would like is realistic for any one problem, and many people have many serious problems (not physically attractive, negatively/vibe problems, financially precarious, poor verbal ability, no useful family, no bonding experience, not smart, …). I believe lifting, reading, crafting a positive/active mindset, getting a Labrador, and other *concrete actions* is going to superior to *talking* to, and seeking consul of, a blue pill advocate, for most—and almost definitely for your readers.

TLDR; Having a bad coach who barely knows the game rules and certainly not the game (or how to motivate and teach) is not going to help you play football better, unless you really, really suck.

Expand full comment
Mar 10, 2023Liked by the red quest

I want to win, Mr. Quest

Expand full comment

What advice would you give your daughter for dating in this current marketplace?

Expand full comment