The complete story of "Ms. Slav," one of my more interesting lovers
And how to think about executing non-monogamous relationships
I have lots of individual pieces and posts about “Ms. Slav,” the last girl who I went heavily into sex clubs and parties with, but it’s hard for readers to follow the story because the story is fragmented and out of order, and, at the time I was writing about Ms. Slav, I didn’t know we’d see each for as long or as deeply as we did. It’s been years since I’ve seen Ms. Slav, but her story is longer, more detailed, more contemporaneously described, and more complete than any other I have, because I was writing RQ while seeing her.
When we first slept together, I didn’t realize how interested she’d be in me, or in the group sex scenes I was in. It may be worth putting the story together because it illustrates some aspects of the kinds of relationships I’ve tended to have. Lots of guys write “field reports” and “lay reports,” but almost none (including me, until now) write detailed “relationship reports.”
There should be more talk about the “midgame” and less about the opening moves. Because I want to see this in the world I’m contributing to it.
There are 19 parts: I’ve cleaned up and edited each part, but I’ve also tried to retain the flavor of the original. What can I say: at 22,000 words, it’s a saga. Ms. Slav learned far more from me than I did from her, because by the time she came along I’d been doing non-monogamy and sex parties for close to a decade, so I’d already discovered much. If you’re looking to learn and to be entertained, the complete story is for you.
Part I
(Written July 2018)
I met a girl who I’ll call “Ms. Slav” in a semi-warm atmosphere: she was reading a book that I recognized, and I asked her about the book, then showed her what I was reading, and when she seemed genuinely interested I asked if she wanted company for a minute (I had an errand elsewhere—a handy time constraint). In the land of Internet seduction everything is about “assuming the sale” and “asking forgiveness, not permission,” but in real life I don’t think it’s a good idea to be menacingly close to a sitting chick one has just met. Better to check with a simple, “I’ve got two minutes, mind if I sit down?” She was down and we chatted for a bit and I got her number. She’s has an accent and is from Central Europe, which is unusual, though her English is near flawless. Later, I found out that she has a very wealthy relative and had been to European boarding schools, where she’d been finished (in more ways than one). She said no to a drink over text but did get a coffee, and at the coffee she admitted that she “kind of” had a boyfriend. She is also 18 (!), though I figured her for early 20s. We have some people in common, and that helped.
(If you’re a novice guy who wants more detail on approach, see this, or, better yet, read DAYGAME MASTERY.)
Ms. Slav drifted off at the time but did show up to a couple of events I was putting on. Then she went home in late May but said she’d text me when she got back. Around that time I was wrapped up in other matters and chicks, so I didn’t think much of her, as she seemed an improbable lay. I was probably too intellectual with her, though she seemed to respond to that side of me.
When she got back in town, Ms. Slav texted me on a Tuesday, and Wednesday morning I proposed an adventure on Thursday. She said yes, and we met near a bar I chose. She was completely cool with it and maybe not surprised by the destination. I ordered us drinks at the bar, ensuring she wouldn’t get carded, and we talked books.[1] It’s a bar I commonly use for dates, so I’m familiar with the staff and they’re familiar with me: we’ve learned each other names, and I leave large tips every time. Leaving large tips also means I can get in on Friday / Saturday nights, although whenever I cut the line I slip whoever might be at the door at least $20. Getting a place on “lock” for routine dates is useful. Not many bars have a good combination of logistics, quiet, nooks, etc. We talked about the book about psychedelics that I was reading, a topic that should interest many of you. I know people who’ve dropped acid and taken mushrooms, but this book felt like it scrambled my brain, because I didn’t fully know how amazing psychedelics can be.
I do know, however, that it’s not a bad idea to indirectly bring up drugs and sex, especially if you can read as a little nerdy, to see what kind of girl one is dealing with. Does the girl get super involved and engaged in those subjects? Then she might be a faster lay and more responsive to an aggressively assertive guy. Does she shy away from them? She might be a longer burn, and one who needs to get to know the guy better. Despite what you may have read or heard, not all girls are the same, and it’s good to adjust your seduction artistry based on the girl in front of you. Don’t bike downhill in the same gear you bike uphill.
Ms. Slav, it turns out, was lightly involved in psychedelics in the city where she went to boarding school, and that means she’s sex-positive and likely to want to get to it. We had lots of talk about psychedelics and their ability to help a person achieve their best self. The talk has a hippie-ish tinge, which is fine by me.
She also says, later, she made sexual debut at 13 to a guy who was 18. If her stories are remotely true, she’s had more experience at age 18 than most people have had by age 25. I can see that most guys her age would be unable to handle her, because she’s too mature-seeming and experienced. Fortunately, I’ve had lots of time around beautiful women and am happy to operate at or above her level.
Ms. Slav said she has a fake ID. Needless to say, she checks all the “yes” boxes. We make out a little in the bar and I take her back. I slip a performance-enhancing drug, because I’m not sure how I feel after the Wednesday adventure with a different woman. She’s wearing nice underwear, so she’s been thinking about what would happen. She’s got a great smile and great energy... and great tits. With Ms. Slav it’s good, but somehow I’m not 100% in the game. Maybe the desire was not hot enough in me: On Wednesday night I had a long, intense session with an occasional partner, so I was not at my physical peak.
Ms. Slav stayed over, and the next round in the morning was also good, but Ms. Slav says she’s not on birth control and doesn’t have an IUD, so finishing through the condom was tough. Maybe tough psychologically as well as physically. Good news is that the session lasted a long time, and Ms. Slav seemed to like the way I (man)handled her. She left, and then left town for the weekend and is supposed to come home pretty late tonight, the night I’m writing this. I’m supposed to see her tonight or tomorrow night. I’d gauge 50-50 odds for it happening.
Friday I was worthless at work, and when I got home I took a very late nap, then went to the gym. Saturday I did some of the work I should have done Friday. Today I have a few free minutes.
Oddly, though she’s probably more attractive, Ms. Slav didn’t generate the huge, ridiculous boost and intense obsession that the 20-year-old did. Maybe because I’d been totally drained by the bedroom adventures of Wednesday night? Or maybe because I couldn’t totally hit it raw? Whatever the reason I am NOT complaining... if a guy complains about getting with a young hot girl half his age… just hit him in the face, like he deserves. I am noting it, however. The chemistry that makes one girl pop like a hit of MDMA while another is merely very good is mysterious. With Ms. Slav, texting discipline is easy, while with the 20-year-old I was besotted.
It’s an amazing world when like a week separates a single mom hitting on me and tagging a young lithe firm-breasted chick who weighs maybe 100 lbs... 105 lbs max. Apart from the initial open, I think Ms. Slav picked me as much as I picked her. I think I’m an unusual find for her. She said something about guys falling in love with her the minute she sees them, which I don’t do... I’m not a boy any more. I personally love girls who uninhibitedly, unabashedly love sex, although I’m willing to train girls to love it unashamedly, and have done so many times and will probably do so again. I’m guessing too that Ms. Slav needed to see some social superiority/skills and some intellectual acuity. I never met the “boyfriend” but did see a few pics on her Facebook, so I’m guessing he was real, but with chicks… you never really know. No mention of him at drinks on Thursday. I didn’t ask and she didn’t tell.
If it weren’t for reading the stories of other players on the Internet, plus the right books, I think I’d still be under some serious misapprehensions about chicks. But when I see that other guys are experiencing some of the same things I am, it strengthens some of my hunches and lets me put together the strange pieces of the female psyche. Other guys’s stories also tell me that if they can tag young chicks, I can sometimes do it too. Which means you, the guy reading this, might also be able to do it.
Ms. Slav also let me make an AMAZING sex tape. I just looked at it for the first time. Holy hell, that girl is tiny and hot. Great at sex, great sounds, great body. I wonder if I’ll see her when I’m properly rested. Until today, I feel like I’ve barely had a spare moment to savor the experience and think about her. Contact with her over the weekend has been good, and she messages me far more than I message her. She reads as essentially less flakey the the 20-year-old. She also reads as a budding libidinous intellectual, or sex-driven intellectual. Usually the smartest girls are not sexy and the sexiest girls are not smart. This one seems to combine both.
It was nice to get her out… I’ve probably had 25 – 30 rejections / blowouts from randoms in recent months (correction: maybe longer than that, as I don’t keep careful track, so they’ve been spread over a pretty long time). I’ve not written about most rejections because they’re not interesting and there’s nothing to say about them (the midgame is interesting): I don’t write about everything that happens to me regarding game or women… I choose the things that might be of more general interest. “Curate,” to use the annoying, contemporary word. Suddenly running into this yes-girl, or girl whose unusual boxes I happen to check, is very nice. Like her p***y.
I think I’m picking up sexually open chicks who really like older dudes. That, or I just spin the wheel enough to get the occasional hit. Not complaining, merely observing.
Part II
(About two weeks after the previous part.)
Ms. Slav left for home on Monday, and we spent two weeks seeing each other every other day. She’s bisexual (or, as she says, she prefers “pansexual”) and was also having some sex with the girl she stayed with. The other girl is essentially straight but also inexperienced and heavy... she needs to quit sugar and simple carbs. She’s not into sex enough for Ms. Slav’s taste, and I would guess from seeing pictures of her that she’s not very competitive. I wish the other girl were hotter, but she is… not.
Ms. Slav is into being my nude model and making sex tapes with me, so that’s a major plus. I think she’ll be into posting them online when we get there. Like most chicks, when she sees nudes of herself taken by someone with a real camera and some small knowledge of photography, she’s properly impressed… to the point that she’s now talking about buying a camera (a good move in my view: if you develop your aesthetic eye even a little, iPhone pics will not satisfy).
Despite that, I still find myself not as excited about her as I should be. F**king her was really fun, don’t get me wrong, and I’m happy to have done it and will do it again, but I can’t get totally into her. Why?
This is embarrassing to admit, but on two separate occasions when I was fucking her, an unwanted thought came to the top of mind: “96% of guys would kill to be in this situation; why aren’t you totally into it?”
Maybe it is the condom thing, I don’t know. Or, it is true that sometimes we just don’t get into a person who is objectively very attractive.
On Saturday I did bring her to a pretty large sex party. I may function for her the way Libido Girl did for me. Being part of the group sex and sex positive community is amazing. Ms. Slav loved the party, despite some hiccups due to some guest-list challenges caused by the organizers, and, after we had some (very intense, very good) sex, she wanted to find a girl to hookup with. She wasn’t clear about how to do so in that environment, but I sure was, and the first available couple I saw and opened had a woman who was ALSO looking for another woman. She was probably in her early 30s but still very hot. They’d never been to a full-on event and had only gone to non-sex meet-n-greets, so they were excited. The other guy and I watched and participated a little. The other couple had that mind-blown look that people get at their first orgies. Eventually, Ms. Slav and I had sex again.
The other woman got Ms. Slav’s number. I warned Ms. Slav that, in the clear light of the next day, many people are less interested and enthusiastic, but Ms. Slav said, “Girls always text me.” Confident, or cocky? She’s got an arrogant edge, but, as I mentioned, she is very hot. And the next day the other woman did text her, promptly. They couldn’t meet before Ms. Slav left, but I’m now confident they will again.
Ms. Slav reminds me of an important idea... very young chicks can get trained quickly by older guys into sexual experience and knowledge. Ms. Slav made sexual debut at a very early age, and has continued since... she is full of life. Although I haven’t heard about her oldest partner yet, I wouldn’t be surprised to find him 30+. Guys mostly have to develop on our own, while many girls get accelerated by older guys.
At the party, I was helped by my reputation and by the fact that I knew many people there. I led, Ms. Slav followed. A very good dynamic.
Ms. Slav also talked to her roommate/host about going to the party, but the roommate expressed a lot of interest, then didn’t go (a much more typical experience with women: interest, but failed execution). I wasn’t too encouraging, because of how heavy the roommate is, but behavior like this, and experience with it, is why a lot of venture capitalists are reluctant to invest in female entrepreneurs. The roommate had a good path to adventure and a non-judgmental, encouraging girl to take her, but didn’t bother. The whole path was open! Then the roommate expressed intense regret the next day, because she went to some boring average party and left after an hour. I’m always happy to leave heavy chicks at home.
Ms. Slav is also unusual because she’s extremely punctual and extremely straightforward. When she said, “I want to hook up with a girl,” I found an acceptable girl and she did. She had a great time. Experienced guys will recognize the relative rarity of this event. Unlike so many chicks, Ms. Slav wasn’t constantly tripping over herself and into failure. As many players know, a girl’s statement that “I’m interested in other girls” is often, if not bullshit, then at least not something she wants to execute. Finding chicks who say, “I want this thing” and then do this thing is too uncommon. I like it when it does happen, but I don’t expect it. Highest of hopes and most modest of expectations. I wonder how many chicks would have better sexual experiences if they showed up on time and learned how to cook (Ms. Slav also likes to cook and says she’ll cook for me when she gets her apartment set up).
Like Libido Girl, I think Ms. Slav would make an excellent wing-woman for threesomes.
I meant to update the story sooner, but work has been nuts and when I’ve not been working I’ve been dealing with personal stuff, or stuffing Ms. Slav. Now I wish I’d taken closer notes on what she said, because there are other amusing game-related things, but I have been tired and today is the first day I’ve had mental space to talk about Ms. Slav. Media-outrage articles don’t require as much deep thought, because typically they either exemplify an important idea about men or women or need simple correction that Red Pill and evolutionary biology guys will already know. I would guess that, over time, as I transition away from the game, that will become the bulk of this blog.
I still don’t know what should replace the game, but I do still feel it should be something... the challenge is that’s what’s better than sex with beautiful women? The guys who get fat playing video games and watching TV, I don’t get. Life is passing them by, and they’re missing the peaks in favor of what? Pretend achievement.
By the way, the 20-year-old chick I slept with not long before Ms. Slav came to town for a day to look for apartments, but I didn’t see her Snapchat saying as much until after she’d left. That’s just as well: she’s flakey enough that I may stop responding altogether and maybe re-initiate later on. I worry that I’ve been feeding her way too much attention relative to her behavior.
Correction: I know I’ve been feeding her way too much attention. She replies within minutes of everything I send her, but if the logistics aren’t there I need to ease out till they are. I’m not convinced I’m going to have sex with her again. Her behavior is strange. Must be other dudes in the picture.
I did talk to Ms. Slav about getting an IUD. I want to go all the way, raw, and see if that ups my feelings about her.
Part III
(About three weeks after the previous part.)
Ms. Slav is back again: She finds her home country and city too small, provincial, and most of all conservative, so she’s happy to be in the United States. She’s staying in the same swank, absurdly fancy hotel as her parents, but, fortunately, in a different room. We met in her hotel room, and without saying much I stripped her black dress to discover new lingerie underneath; she said she’d been shopping for it a couple hours prior. So I left the thong on, and pulled it to the side. Beauty.
After, we took a nap and started chatting. I told her I had a surprise for her, and I pulled out a package containing a vibrator. She was pleased, and also surprised, and said, “Guys give me flowers and jewelry all the time. I would much rather have this.” That perked my ears. How many guys? “A lot. A hundred?” A hundred? At her age? 18? I want to think she’s exaggerating. Conceivably she isn’t. She said that for most girls, flowers are the best thing the girls think they can get. Ms. Slav is fond of drawing distinctions between herself and “most girls,” which is almost, but not quite, a red flag. In this paragraph, there is an important lesson for men: be the guy who gives her the vibrator and makes her get off, hard, not the simp giving her pricey trinkets she doesn’t care about. The only trinkets she might value are those that symbolize something she’s earned. Ms. Slav earned her vibrator.
Ms. Slav said that she’s never been very submissive before. With women she’s dominant, and with men she’s never really been made to submit. But she said that when I move her where I want her, and hold her down by the throat, it turns her on. Like spanking during foreplay. Like most chicks, she can take more than I think she can. She may like the way I use raw strength. I remember a session with a lover from a couple years ago, and she was playfully resisting by moving to the top of the bed. I grabbed her ankles, dragged her entire body down, and forced her legs open. She said, “I forgot how strong you are” (I’m not that strong, I want to be clear… I have met truly strong men, seen them train… I’m just stronger than guys who don’t follow a weight lifting program). That girl’s comment was a major turn-on, largely because I don’t think it was planned… it popped out of her. Girls get turned on by strong guys, and testosterone means that you, a man, should be much stronger than virtually all women.
There was something about sex with that girl, Short Dancer, that was unreal. Unfortunately, I lost her because she knew I was dating someone else… a couple someone elses, to be honest… and didn’t like my ways, but I wasn’t willing to commit to her. It was a complicated time. The situation persisted until she went to a party while I was out of town and… yeah. Still have a bunch of great sex videos I made with her. I think of her with happiness.
With Ms. Slav, that day in the hotel room her parents were paying for, I meant to tie her up and really paddle her, but I was too focused on the sex to do the more elaborate pieces. Also meant to bring my favorite massage oil and forgot it as well. Did remember the camera. She still likes the photos and being shot nude.
Ms. Slav washed the vibe and I plugged it in. She used it the second time we had sex, and she kept coming, over and over again, incredibly hard. So hard it was hard for me to hold off, and eventually I couldn’t. She said she’d never had sex while using a vibrator, or come so hard. I’m disinclined to believe such praise, but, after talking to her more, I think her oldest partner prior to me was 18, or maybe in his early 20s, so she could conceivably be telling the truth, instead of attempting to stroke my ego. Guys are too dumb to get girls to use vibrators during sex. I may “win” a lot because I don’t do the dumb, high-ego things.
All in all I’d call it a very successful session. I know guys in the seduction-artist world are against giving chicks gifts. I agree with that stance… BEFORE sex. After sex, some small gifts are okay, particularly if they’re sexually related and treated like they’re no big deal. See my old post, “The holidays are coming up: shit tests, comfort tests, and gifts [intermediate and above].” It is bad to give a chick anything as an implied exchange for sex, but okay in my view to do so afterwords, particularly if the chick is younger and inexperienced. Few guys understand that chicks LOVE gifts that are earned. Ms. Slav, as I said above, has earned hers.
I like experimenting. Many chicks have told me that, when they’ve tried to bring toys into the bedroom in the past, their guys have been threatened. Not me. I see man as the tool-using animal.
Ms. Slav says she’s going to get an IUD, and I hope so, because the lack of busting in her may be the barrier preventing me from being fully into her. She’s been on hormonal birth control in the past, but that disagreed with her. She said that she was tempted to get an IUD in her home country but didn’t trust the medical system there.
The 20-year-old is also back, but I can’t be arsed. She seems too likely to be a problem and too flakey for me. I’ve had some other adventures as well I mean to write more about.
Part IV
(About a month after the previous part.)
Interesting things from Ms. Slav:
* She says she prefers experiences to wealth, and that most people in her home country are materialistic, boring, and obsessed with money. I tried to tell her that the extent to which people focus on pleasure and high-order things depends on a country’s economic development. When people fail economically in the United States, the social safety net catches them, and almost no one starves to death... this is part of the reason guys should specialize more in game and lifting and being hot than being a provider-guy: chicks don’t need provider guys, mostly. It’s possible for almost anyone to survive by getting a retail job somewhere, doing something. For people in less-developed countries, failure can lead towards death or a level of poverty almost unknown in the United States.
Being indifferent to wealth, even superficially, is much better than being a spoiled rich girl. I’m describing Ms. Slav, not whining about her. If she were a typical spoiled rich girl I would likely not get along with her.
The United States should be wealthier than it is, by removing limitations on the construction of new housing. When demand for cars go up, automakers build more cars. When demand for housing goes up, we can’t build more housing, because “not in my backyard” (NIMBY) types work to block housing. So housing prices go up, and we have to work more to afford it, and then we have less time for the good things in life... like f**king Ms. Slav.
* Ms. Slav says one of her relatives is among the richest men in her country. Based on what I’ve seen of her, I believe it. She’s rich but prefers not to overtly flaunt it or talk about it. I believe she doesn’t like talking about it, but she almost can’t help but flaunt it through her clothes. I don’t pay close attention to costly clothing but, hanging out with her over time, I can’t help but notice. The things she says and does scream, “Money.” When I was her age I worked a typical job (it was fun, and I hooked up with a lot of girls who worked with me) and had nothing like the things she’s had or the experiences she’s had. I wasn’t poor, but her family has only a “small” yacht. She lives in a different world than normal people. Including me.
* Her friend, the one she was staying with previously, wants to watch us have sex. The friend is heavy and not that attractive (I repeat myself), but whatever, I’m down. (Update: Eventually, she brought her really hot friend for threesomes. It was awesome.)
* She says she’s not been really dominated by a man. I find this a little hard to believe, but it could be true. She seems to have had more experiences with women than men. I’ve now spanked her very, very hard (after extensive warm up), and she says she loved it. She also says she loved being at the party and being dominated there, and that when we f**ked, that was the hardest she’d ever climaxed. Is it true or flattery? I’d give it 50/50. Men need to learn BDSM.
* She says she doesn’t feel sexual jealousy. We’ll see about that one, because I don’t think she’s ever been with someone who challenges her sexual range. She has an ex she says her parents like and she doesn’t, and she says she keeps denying him sex, but he keeps giving her attention. I don’t know if that’s true, but I’d give it 70/30. I told her I’d do a three-way with him. He sounds like a simpin’ fake friend.
* She admitted in writing to a sexual fantasy that shocked even me. I’m pretty depraved. Not as depraved as her. I like encouraging chicks to share their fantasies with me. (Unfortunately, as I update this story, I can’t remember what the fantasy was. Damn.)
* We met another one of her friends, who is also quite young and who told Ms. Slav she is depressed, but she also told Ms. Slav that she is interested in sex parties. The friend showed up an hour late to our meetup, just before Ms. Slav and I needed to leave. Ms. Slav’s friend is a classic example of, “When the problem is not the problem.” The friend couldn’t be bothered to show up on time, so we didn’t get to talk about sex positivity and how to find the sex-positive community, and she’s depressed because she can’t connect properly to people, and she can’t connect to people because she doesn’t do simple things like… show up on time. In person she was pretty but underwhelming, unlike the Instagram pic Ms. Slav showed me. In the right circumstances I’d sleep with the friend or have a threesome with her, but she’s not worth pursuing. She is her own greatest problem. A lot of chicks have this issue. Some guys do too, but I don’t try to fuck guys, so I don’t care as much about that.
I’ve written in places about how incoherent a lot of women are. Guys can spend hours and hours on the Internet trying to analyze behavior that is often random. There is no explanation. Accepting randomness is hard for us story-making creatures, but learning to accept it is important. Good Looking Loser is the first guy I read who emphasized the “chicks are random” fact (be careful on his website, because he’s now pimping bogus supplements… don’t fall for that shit). There seems to be a rand() function in female psychology.
Endlessly micro-analyzing an individual situation is often unproductive, because the answer is often “she doesn’t like you enough” or “she wasn’t actually available at that time” or “she just couldn’t get it together.” Ms. Slav said her friend was really looking forward to the meeting but that the friend also checked the time and place three times. I’m sure the friend has also jumped guys within 10 minutes of meeting them. What’s the difference? It’s just the friend being random. Take natural female changes due to time of month, add the random function, and you get situations that are immune to logical male analysis.
Young players need to understand this. I did not properly appreciate it when I was younger.
* Ms. Slav continues to be on time. She has her own life and seems to be fine with pursuing her own projects when I’m not around. Refreshing!
* I wish I’d been writing down all the batshit, bonkers things women have said to me over the years. I see how women are portrayed in the media and in film, then I think to my real life and see the wide gulf between them.
* Still no IUD from Ms. Slav. Am pushing that angle. I’m still not as excited about her as I really ought to be.
* The vast majority of women want to be seduced. The word “seduced” is important because it implies that she has no agency or choice in the matter. Women believe they are child-like and thus want to have whatever control they have stripped.
Part V
(About a month after the previous part.)
A lot has happened with Ms. Slav, and it’s been a few months since we first slept together. Ms. Slav and I have been to more sex clubs and have even been on a date with one of my lovers and her new guy. On that date Ms. Slav had sex with three people over the age of 30. Usually, “She’s not like other girls” is bullshit, but Ms. Slav isn’t. Her personality is consistent with my habits and proclivities, so she only needed an avenue to get into non-monogamy, with no psychological reprogramming required. She was already inclined to be non-monogamous and minimally jealous, so when she found someone like me who can lead her further in that direction, she followed right along. She’s learning fast, but she’s still nowhere as experienced as I am. I should start coaching guys who want to do non-monogamy and truly unlock abundance... but that’s got to be a small market. Most guys are content with an okay girlfriend.
If I don’t write about game specifics with Ms. Slav, it’s because she’s compliant. She’s congruent with me: I hit her looks threshold, she more-than-hits mine, she’s fun to be around, she likes being around me... a lot of the game discussion is about getting to this point. But Ms. Slav and I are at this point because I’ve been honing my game, in some ways, for my whole life. A chick like Ms. Slav is the payoff.
She’s enjoying herself. I’m enjoying myself. We have a good groove in terms of the right amount of energetic going out versus staying in (and f**king). She likes a lot of the stuff I do, most notably group sex and reading, so we’re at the right frontier of novelty and stimulation versus quiet interiority. Different girls have different “levels” in this respect. Some are homebodies and some want to go out every night. No one will be perfectly matched in this axis but Ms. Slav and I are decently close right now. She is probably higher energy than me over time, in part due to age, so we’ll see how this unfolds. A lot of relationship conflicts emerge when the man wants to go out much more than the woman or vice-versa. I’m still Virgil to her sexual Dante. (Complete poem here.)
Ms. Slav feels alienated from people her own age, which makes sense. She reads a lot of books, thinks a lot, but also has a very high libido (maybe not as high as Libido Girl, but very high). She said something interesting: if she is having a lot of sex, she gets hornier, but if she’s not, she gets less horny. Other women have made similar comments. It’s part of female sexuality being more reactive than proactive. I’m the opposite: when I’m having a lot of sex, it’s great (don’t get me wrong), but I’m less compelled to seek it out, because I satiate. When I haven’t been having much sex, then I get ridiculously horny and want to seek it. Different systems among different sexes.
At the sex club with Ms. Slav, she’s hot enough that I can pick other partners or couples (some women are intimidated by her, though, or fear the effects her beauty will have on their male partners). I have written before that guys who combine some game with non-monogamy see compounding returns. Guys who are known in their area for bringing in hot chicks, in turn get other hot chicks brought to them. I have thought about cooling my involvement in the sex-club scene, but I’m reluctant to throw away the reputation I’ve been built there. For me, that world is now “easy mode.” I’ve built wealth in that world for a long time, and I’m reluctant, maybe too reluctant, to let that go. Ms. Slav and I have a girl we’re seeing mostly together. Originally the girl had a guy she was bringing into the scene, but the guy didn’t want to handle it and she backed off him (this is pretty common). She’ll find another guy, I’m sure, but for the time being she’s been great. Sex has been pretty consistent, in the neighborhood of every other day with either Ms. Slav or The Third (as I’ll call her, although I don’t know if she’ll stick around) or both.
Ms. Slav still has a friend, another 18-year-old, who is hot and making gestures towards the threesome. Not convinced it will happen, but if it does I won’t complain.
For guys, it is useful to remember that, when it comes to younger hotter chicks, you may be up against guys like me, who can offer chicks crazy shit that they’ve never attempted. Guys like me, who are consistently executing good nutrition and fitness practices, and who don’t have the metabolic diseases consistent of typical western diets. With Ms. Slav, I’m the first group sex; the first time she’s used a vibe during sex; the first time she’s used a butt plug; the first time she’s been to a sex party; and probably a couple of other firsts… I’m not sure she will ever go back to normal sex and dating. Her brain is being re-wired. I’m re-programming her.
Unfortunately, I had an old injury flare up this week, so I’ve been in more pain than usual. Stretching and mobility work are key to lifting successfully, and if you neglect them you will pay. I am paying.
Still no IUD in Ms. Slav, although I am gently pushing her towards it. She has an unusually busy schedule, which is a net good, but it, plus some other logistical challenges, have prevented her from getting her IUD put in.
I wish I’d kept better notes along the way, as a bunch of other things have happened… Ms. Slav is among the more extreme girls I’ve introduced to the sex club and party scene, as most girls don’t take to it this fast.
I’ve been trying to get Ms. Slav to ride a regular bike with me, but she’s not much going for that. Still like her, though. Ms. Slav has made dinner for me a couple times, although she doesn’t eat much. A girl cooking for me is so rare that I want to note it. So many girls have absolutely terrible game, and cooking is a part of their game that most girls reject. Maybe the ones who can cook get married, and the ones who are on the shelf too long can’t, and not being able to cook is part of the reason they stay on the shelf.
I’ve hit on a few other chicks here and there, nothing to report. I’ve collected some phone numbers from couples and girls at sex parties... a chick as hot as Ms. Slav is the ultimate social proof. My favorite recent attempted pickup was a chick who was doing some dangerous, crazy shit on a bike, which formed the core of my opener. Got the number but no reply via text or Snapchat. Too bad, as she told me she is a nurse and that she bikes to work for her night shifts. She checked a large number of boxes in a short conversation, but all seduction artists know that most leads go to nowhere.
There are also one or two ecosystem things I haven’t written about publicly but which act as an aid in my general game, compared to raw cold approach. It’s not like a famous person or musician or similar, but I think it’s fair to say that one or two things are in place that put the momentum at my back rather than against my face.
That Ms. Slav likes me but isn’t likely to want to convert me to a 1:1 monogamous boyfriend is very attractive to me. I still like her, I still like sex with her, and yet I cannot find myself fully, 100% into the sex, which is uncommon for me: it might be the condom things. I like being the guy who opens up the door to the place she’s always been seeking, being the guy who offers her the red pill or blue pill, the guy who opens the door into another universe. You might call it the “Wizard” role in the King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine schema, if you like that sort of thing. In my view every guy should read that book, so if you haven’t yet, quit the Internet and go buy a copy. Game tactics and strategy work best if the guy also understands the underlying nature of masculinity, masculine identity, and femininity and feminine identity.
Part VI
(About two weeks after the previous part.)
I’ve been in a sex whirlwind… not of my own making, for once. Not entirely of my own making, that is. Ms. Slav is more into group sex and non-monogamy than just about anyone else I’ve met: she’s totally sexually uninhibited and, while most people who say they don’t experience jealousy are lying, I think she’s telling the truth. Mostly. I’m not sure she’s been exposed to the type of person or relationship that will elicit her jealousy response… yet. I might be that person. She’s had sex with other women with me in threesomes, and we’ve swapped partners a bunch at parties, so me merely having sex with another woman in front of her isn’t a problem.
I should recount what we’ve been up to, but there has been too much to hit everything. The foursomes have probably been most interesting: she is so young and pretty that she attracts pretty much anyone, online and off, such that I feel like I’m being fed this steady stream of great food… more than I really want to eat, but as the possibility of it presents itself and I get a whiff, I keep sampling.
A foursome that goes well is almost like the pickup of a girl that goes well, in that there isn’t much story to it. My girl and I meet the other couple, either from an online app like Feeld or from swapping numbers at a party. We meet up and get a drink. Have one to two drinks over maybe an hour to an hour and a half. If I like them, I surreptitiously check with my girl about whether the other couple are a “go” or not. Usually I know before I check. Girls do want to know that they’re being taken care of, and that a man is responsible for them and their feelings, so it is vital to check with her. If everyone likes each other, we go back to mine, or get a hotel, and we go back. Most often, the easiest way to get things started is to get the girls to kiss each other, but there are others. As a man, it’s your job to make things happen.
It’s clear to me why normal women hate women like Libido Girl or Ms. Slav: those highly sexed women are highly disruptive to the social order. They reduce female bargaining power, and not a little bit—they reduce it substantially. Because of hate, the Libido Girls and Ms. Slavs of the world hide who they are. Ms. Slav is too young to have taken on a sex-positive identity, but I believe she is taking one on now, and that identity can help immunize her from female haters. As she surrounds herself with sex-positive sluts, her identity will shift and the hate will mean less to her. This is what normal women hate and fear… another woman who will f**k their boyfriends and not be susceptible to slut-shaming. Ms. Slav feels like she’s changing and growing week by week, from her interactions with me.
Ms. Slav is unusual because she is if anything not discerning enough for my taste. Most chicks don’t like most other guys and/or are not really bi. The challenge is getting them to have the sex they want to have in their hearts, and to let go of the shame and fear that hold them back. Girls are too picky; men, often not picky enough. Ms. Slav loves sex, loves it with an array of people, and will have sex with seemingly almost anyone she fancies, and she fancies easily, which together make her a potent weapon but also one with drawbacks. I’ve had a bunch of sex since taking her to the parties, some with an “8,” and it is amazing to watch her become one with the scene. But it is also odd to see someone so uninhibited, to the point where she is less specific than I would like. Usually the opposite happens… I encourage a chick to hook up with other chicks, do her part with other couples I like, etc., but Ms. Slav is not like that.
I have very little, if any, control over her. Most normal chicks need to be encouraged, feel jealousy when I nail another chick, want to make sure that we’re a team. Ms. Slav doesn’t appear to be like that. It’s unusual for me to not have to push the chick forward, and instead to see her go zooming ahead of me. She is not like any other girl I’ve started in the non-monogamy scene. It’s pretty common for a new girl to bond with one or two other people and to have a small group of regulars. It’s uncommon to have someone who just loves to f**k and has been seeking this kind of permission and opportunity since puberty. She has probably been seeking permission to go wild her entire life and now has it. I wouldn’t be surprised to see her become some kind of sex educator or sex missionary more generally.
Going to sex parties with Ms. Slav is like playing a video game with “God Mode” turned on. She’s so young and hot that the possibilities are only really limited by the other girl’s interests and proclivities.
Ms. Slav reminds me a little of down-to-f**k (“DTF”) girls I’ve met online and offline. They like sex and are uninhibited about it and if you match some baseline threshold, she’s a “yes-girl.” Most girls are not like this, but when a guy finds one he merely has to smoothly escalate. That is another reason normal girls hate the Ms. Slavs of the world: the Ms. Slavs undercut the willingness of guys to invest lots of time and attention in more normal girls. Most normal girls won’t have sex within an hour of meeting, but the ones who will, hurt the market positions of the ones who don’t.
When I’m dating, I usually probe for interest in psychedelics and drinking (like I did with Ms. Slav), interest in sharing or hearing sex stories, and reaction to light physical touch. There are no doubt more sophisticated algorithms, but the simple one seems to have worked for me.
Two days ago, we met a couple off an app, Feeld; the woman is very pretty, more attractive than the guy, and very quiet. At my favorite bar (the staff have asked me about my ways… they have seen a lot... and they have seen Ms. Slav and me with a bunch of other couples) Ms. Slav, myself, and the other guy did most of the talking. Then back to my place, blindfold over the other woman, and less foreplay than I would have thought. Ms. Slav stripped her quickly and began going down on her. I have learned to prolong the foreplay, longer than I think it needs to go on for, and been richly rewarded by that practice. The other woman has sensational breasts and I spent a lot of time on her. Great body overall. Face looks very good in the right circumstances. The guy couldn’t get off. I offered some pharma assistance in that regard and he declined. They are not super experienced... not yet. Hard to know if they will get there.
Before them, we had another, bad date, with a couple whose pictures were 10 – 15 years out of date. The guy was a personal trainer of some sort and the woman an administrative assistant. They are the stuff stereotypes against “swingers” are made of: older, annoying, low culture (but not in a fun way), lack any semblance of glamor or poise. Most women have a baseline “cool” threshold and most men have a baseline looks threshold, somewhere, and that couple didn’t meet either. I noped us out of that one. I like girls who are smart but also sensual. Not a big fan of older, dumb chicks. Most people are more or less as they present themselves, because if they aren’t, what happens on the date? The other person or couple leaves quickly and everyone wastes time. Lying in online dating is not a high-quality move, because it wastes a lot of time and doesn’t result in much. Judging from the popularity of the poorly named “social” media, however, most people waste most of their time.
Sex with new women is so good and so fun. Despite that, I’m starting to understand the whole “mid-life crisis,” which I used to think stupid. In most ways my life is really good, yet I feel somehow hollow, or colorless, a lot of the time, and I’m not sure what to do with that. The old ways seem not to be working for me anymore, but I don’t know what the new ways might be. I don’t see myself continuing indefinitely down this hedonism path, but I also know too much to approve of some other paths. Some I’m kind of stuck. Many of the earlier life challenges, I have surmounted, or surmounted well enough. What next?
I’m not complaining, mind. If you’re my age, have adequate funds for housing and books, and are still railing a Ms. Slav, things cannot be that bad. In the future, however, I might shift away from her and towards someone more substantive. Good Looking Loser has a new podcast up, not very interesting or actionable, but he is also older and not so interested in sport f**king randoms anymore. I get where he is coming from. Simultaneously, I have built this whole ecosystem and just system to deliver pretty good, pretty consistent casual sex, and I’m reluctant to give this one up. Like many things in life, it was hard to build but will be easy to dismantle or let atrophy. Yet that may be my destiny anyway. I have been exploring some local political work, so maybe I will do that instead. There are one or two women in the background who could, I think, be long-term prospects. But I’m very particular about a woman who is going to be around over the long term, so I have a fundamental challenge there.
There are also some very hilarious Red-Pill comments Ms. Slav has made. She’s been tooling a try-hard guy for months… he kept trying to get her out last weekend, and saying that he was waiting for her (at a bar? not sure), and by one in the morning Ms. Slav finally told him to leave. I remarked that I would never put up with that kind of behavior. She said, “I treat different guys differently.” He asked if she was home yet… and she said to me, as if she were going to write it in a text, “Baby, I wasn’t home. He should know that.”
He is giving her unearned attention, and while she is enjoying it, it isn’t getting him anywhere. He texted her that he would rather be out with her than anyone else in the world. This to a young girl he barely knows. Folly. I made those mistakes… in high school and college… not for a long time. If anything I err towards not giving enough attention and not doing enough comfort. So many guys don’t learn the seduction arts. This dork would be better off talking to more girls. Ms. Slav is with me, and he’s going to jerk off. He should hire Red Pill Dad for coaching, so he learns not to be so pathetic.
Training Ms. Slav has been interesting. She has required very little training, though. With her… I think I can keep up, but I don’t think I want to keep up. Seems like a minor distinction, but I wonder if she’s my last ultra-high-energy girl. One down side of guys dating chicks half their age is that those chicks can be much higher energy.
Part VII: Enter new girl Peaches
(About three weeks after the previous part.)
I said a few weeks ago that “I’ve been in a sex whirlwind,” and I still am. We met this couple (pseudo-couple, I now know) off Feeld, went out, had a good time getting drinks, and brought them back for sex, as I talk about in Part VI. The date and sex were good, very good for me. But as we were moving to it in a more recent session, the girl dropped that she is… married. Not to the guy she’s with. Interesting. I asked if he’s a low-sex-drive guy and she confirms, or claims, that he is.
I don’t get why a girl like her, we’ll call her Peaches (since she’s been around long enough to merit a distinct name), would get with a low-sex-drive guy. Peaches comes from a somewhat religious family, so maybe Christian baggage is impeding her? A LOT of chicks in the scene used to be religious, and, when they got out of the religious atmosphere, they go full-tilt the opposite direction. Whatever the case, she has been on birth control since she was a teenager and hormonal birth control has not harmed her sex drive a whit. I love chicks like her.
Both the guy and Peaches are in their 20s, the girl finishing up grad school and no doubt figuring out what to do next. A side thing, a rant really, on grad school: do not go to grad school and then think you’re going to get a professor job. This is false for the vast majority of graduate students. The overwhelming majority of people realize there is no good job for them at the end… some guys (and some chicks) who are intellectually smarter than me spend 6+ years in school, then get post-doc jobs for $50,000 a year… less than I was making at 24.
For an intellectually inclined guy, it is okay, straight out of school, to do a two-year master degree, then get out. With a master degree, a guy can do some teaching if he wants and if he can make it work around his real job. Teaching can also be a powerful ecosystem tool for getting chicks, but doing graduate school and thinking, “I can get chicks this way” is an awful way to plan, but I do believe I have seen it. A guy is better off with a real job and learning the seduction arts. The direct route to getting chicks is better than the stupidly circuitous route many guys ignorantly choose.
Modern academic life, like marriage, is a trap. “Smart” guys who are praised by their college instructors may think graduate school is a good idea. It is not and it will frequently f**k up your life… as it has for Peaches, who is almost certainly making less money than she would have with an undergraduate nursing degree. Peaches makes far less money than nurses do, and she works to advance someone else’s career. How dumb is that? High-IQ dumb people are all around us.
Whatever is going on with her brain and life, Peaches still has incredible tits and a nice body overall. Perfectly shaped and proportioned T & A. There are some reasonable number of women doing group sex and open relationships are freshly divorced or out of long-term relationships and ready to party. This one isn’t divorced yet, but late 20s and high sex drive + weak husband equals divorce. The husband knows about her sex life, or so she says… I have heard this one before and it isn’t always true.
I like Peaches’s face a lot because I like her as a whole package, but she’s got a pretty normal, girl-next-door face. I think she’s getting pretty intensely into me. We have great sex chemistry. I’m going to try to break her off from her other guy… I’m better than him in bed, despite being something like ~15 years older, and I can see Peaches looking at me and… thinking. Thinking about what she’s going to do next. I’ve been around a lot of girls who are thinking about the branch swing. There is a lot of “money doesn’t matter in game” and “don’t be a provider” comments in the game and seduction community. The first one is untrue or slightly true: money isn’t very important in the very short term, but, as soon as you get into a regular thing with a chick, it starts to matter if you have none. Chicks prefer guys with their shit together, if possible, just like guys prefer younger-hotter, if possible.
“IF POSSIBLE.” Not always possible.
Average, game-unaware guys overestimate the importance of money and default towards presenting themselves as providers, both being mistakes. But I see game guys default too far in the other direction. In this foursome, I end up controlling a lot of the narrative and logistics because I have the money and space to pull them off. The other guy doesn’t. Girls rarely think about logistics and let men sort logistics out. If the man lacks the competence to sort out logistics, then some other man who can will come along and f**k her.
Does money matter? Yes and no. All else being equal, more is better. The older a guy gets, the more true this is. I’ve seen it go every which way in my life. I’ve seen chicks leave pretty well-off guys who bore the chick. She goes off with some couch-surfing guitarist. I’ve seen chicks leave cool artsy alternative guys when the chicks want someone stable and responsible. There is no magic “right” answer because the right answer varies by the chick and how long you’re going to be with her. The longer you’re with her, the more the money matters. I see Peaches’ interest in me. Helps that I’ve banged her unbelievably hard and thoroughly.
A while ago, I was seeing this girl, I think I met her online (so quite a few years ago, because online dating stopped working well for most guys by 2015). In her clothes and especially her tight wrap dresses, a good choice on her, she looked delicious. Completely fecund. Curvy in all the right places. I’ve been with girls like that, and when they’re young, they’re fantastic. Eventually got her naked and everything flopped out and down. Like unwrapping an anticipated Christmas present that turns out to be old socks.
I’ve had the opposite happen too. Peaches is the opposite... she looks good but not stunning, and most guys would probably give her a very high 6 or low 7. Sometimes you’ll see some chick you think is okay, she doesn’t wear very flattering clothes, or she does but you don’t quite know what you’re going to get, and you take it all off and everything is perky, smooth, beautifully flush, and you bump her up a couple notches. You just don’t know till you close her.
Peaches is more of the latter. Looks okay clothed and better nude. I have unusual experience in comparing chicks clothed to chicks nude, due to group sex.
I believe Peaches found this guy, “Other Guy,” and he was sort of “the first person available.” Now she’s seeing a guy like me, a better choice in almost every way, and I think she is going to wind up with someone else. Such is the danger of non-monogamy for guys who do not measure up, as I think this guy is.
I was walking out with him one night and mentioned my plans to do the gym the next day. He was like, “That is a good idea.” I told him the truth, that I love it, and that I love straining against the iron. I didn’t love the rush of blood from lifting heavy weights at first, but the love grew over time, especially reading some inspirational literature from Arnold, and from other guys who live life in the Temple of Iron. I’m not one… I’m neither huge nor jacked… but I do love chasing the challenge. A guy who does non-monogamy is going to run into guys who are serious about lifting and diet. That is a danger for the average guy, who is serious about neither, and whose lack of seriousness shows.
I could be wrong. I could try to pull Peaches for one-on-one and fail. It has happened before. But the signs are there. I’ll try for next weekend. I sound awfully arrogant, though I’m trying to be honest. I have met guys who are better looking and wealthier than me. This one, Other Guy… just isn’t one. Sorry, Other Guy. He’s also a little too politically correct (“PC”) for me, a little too social justice warrior (“SJW”). Which is fine… I don’t dispute these things all that much in real life. I lead by example, not by derailing good flirting with political talk. But it, his PC-ness, makes me think a little less of him as a man, and it probably also makes normal women just a little bit drier towards him. To normal women, the PC / SJW thing is fine among low-status, non-sexual “allies,” but not so good in guys they actually consider f**king. I just don’t see those PC / SJW guys getting as much sex. PC / SJW talk is a demonstration of lower value to women, even among women who might agree intellectually. The male feminist is a sexual loser to women: he is a guy who doesn’t get it. The man who is attractive to women is a man who acts, not a man who bleats about political topics.
So we’re seeing Peaches and Other Guy again this week. Being with Ms. Slav has been a wild f**king ride, and it continues to be one. I don’t know how long I can do it, though. She parties harder than me… she is amazing in some ways, too much in others. She’s been going to some parties without me, when she has time and I don’t. She is very, very welcomed in the scene, as you will not be surprised to hear. I’m happy to have found Ms. Slav, but I also feel like she is going to be, if not the last, then one of the last girls I do the full, complete, crazy non-monogamy crazy party thing with. The desire is not there as it used to be. But I’m also happy I brought Ms. Slav in. She would have found it eventually, and she is too highly sexed to be suitable for normal relationships.
She is also less discriminating than most girls and less discriminating than me. Usually I control the whole flow from meeting to sex. Ms. Slav is happy to have a LOT of sex in one night, and she has it with people she shouldn’t, in my view. Not that the sex is wrong, but both the guy and the girl in a couple need to bring value to the table. If they do not, she should not be with them, in my view. I have very much internalized the “exchange of value” paradigm that I have written about. Ms. Slav, when she gets turned on, is not as devoted to that paradigm. Very, very unusual. Normal girls do too much value protection; Ms. Slav, too little.
Ms. Slav says that she has never done online dating, which is surprising to me. It may be that she is willing to f**k whatever guy happens to be in her orbit, so she doesn’t need it.
With Ms. Slav, I think I have changed her entire life trajectory. Her inclinations were already there, but I have opened a door for her. Given her a Red Pill (though not that Red Pill). She’s a special girl.
It’s a wild ride, like I said, and it’s basically insane. I also find myself feeling oddly lonely at times, as I have not, usually, in the past. Sometimes in the middle of group sex I feel totally alone. I do not know what that means. Something in my psychology is changing.
Ms. Slav is so young that she is the object of virtually every man’s desire. It has been some time since I’ve been in the scene with a girl as stunning as her, and the sheer ease of being in the scene with her keeps me attached to it. Almost any girl becomes available. There is an addictive quality to having that be true. I’m living what many men would consider to be their fantasy lives: I’m having more sex than even I maybe want. Not having to work hard for high-quality tail is extremely appealing. It’s what drives men to the heights of artistic achievement. I don’t want to overstate, as I don’t have a free buffet of 8+ chicks, as high-end actors and musicians do. But I have had and do right now have access to chicks most guys would be quite pleased to nail even after a lot of work. Ms. Slav has beauty and I have reasonable game + connections + logistics. Part of me wants to scale back, as you can tell from reading this. Part of me, however, has stumbled into this amazing situation. It is “easy mode.”
Ms. Slav also, like a lot of hot girls, doesn’t understand that sex isn’t just available “on demand” for guys. If she wants sex, she just gets it. Pretty much every straight man she’s ever met wants to have sex with her. For 98% of guys, it ain’t like that. But for guys, it’s often useful to act like it’s like that. As I do with Ms. Slav.
I think back now to opening Ms. Slav. Every time a guy opens… he doesn’t know what’s going to happen. He’s making things happen. Women very rarely make things happen. Things happen to women. Even Ms. Slav, who is more forward than most women, primarily reacts.
I’ve not been able to get Ms. Slav to ride a bike with me, or go to the gym with me.
Part VIII
(A week after the preceding part.)
Met Peaches yesterday afternoon, one on one for tea, where I showed her my clean STI test results (she knew immediately why), and then back to my place. Very long, very intense foreplay session, complete with a paddle, blindfold, nipple clamps, and an eventual butt plug, as she’d mentioned an interest in double penetration but had never used a butt plug during sex. Now she has.
And it was great. The kind of sex everyone craves and we sometimes don’t get. It’s smart to wrap it up. But it’s so much better bare. We hit a lot of positions, with me directing the show the whole time and her loving it.
I think most guys would rate Ms. Slav as being hotter. She is at the very least 10 years younger. Yet with Peaches, it was intense. Extremely intense. We may just have a subconscious, sub-linguistic compatibility that Ms. Slav, for all her virtues, does not have with me.
After, I was exhausted and took a brief nap with Peaches in my arms. Then Peaches opened up more about her husband… this wasn’t fun to hear, but I’ve had so many of those, “Oh, this is the side of women that women don’t emphasize” talks that they don’t elicit an emotional response from me anymore. They are just part of the game, a part of seduction artistry. Seduction artists provide women what they aren’t getting at home, from the average, boring man. Average is everywhere, and the seduction artist practices being different.
The gap between the private narrative and public one is so wide. Particularly between men and women. Women almost never tell the truth about men and sex. At most they speak in code I think that’s why I like game blogs, and encourage guys to write them… I resisted starting a blog about seduction artistry and non-monogamy because I wasn’t sure I had enough material and because I knew that, if I started writing it, it would consume too much of my life. I was right on that second point.
With Peaches, I can’t figure out why she married her husband, and I haven’t wanted to ask. That question is too intimate, particularly if she stays with him. She might not be able to figure it out, either. Or it might be that chicks are random.
But I wasn’t highly analytical yesterday after sex.
That is what people call afternoon delight.
So delightful that I was still tired when I woke up this morning. I feel like I’ve not been on my best game at work. Sometimes after f**king, my mind is so crystal clear that I get everything done and throw off a ton of new ideas. Sometimes I’m still in that half-dream state and need to pull myself into the now. But I want to write this log entry before the feeling fades. This one is so memorable. It’s strange, what is memorable and what fades into the background.
When Peaches left she looked at me and said, “I needed that.” Probably my second-favorite thing to hear from a woman, right after, “Come inside me.”
Part IV
(Written a few weeks after the previous part.)
I think I’m going to cut back on Ms. Slav: she’s amazing in many ways, but she’s actually too wild and too feral for me. I’ve only run into one other girl like that, and the other girl wasn’t quite the same, as she’d go to the party, f**k a bunch of people, guys and girls, pretty indiscriminately, then feel bad about it the next day. She was highly conflicted by what her body wanted when she was horny and what her mind wanted when she wasn’t. Ms. Slav doesn’t experience that common conflict (another of the many things that make her uncommon).
I’m pretty discriminating and I like it when the girl goes along with me. Ms. Slav, when she gets in the zone, she will f**k for hours, pretty much whoever wanders by, but that’s not appealing to me, because I want a more controlled, directed experience… which I usually get because I’m typically more forward than the girl. Ms. Slav is more forward than me, and, because she’s hot, every guy will take his shot at her. She’ll accept invitations that she shouldn’t, and she doesn’t quite get the value exchange mode of sex clubs and open relationships,
>>In my view the basic dynamic of sex parties is guys exchanging hot females with a minimal amount of logistical bother. That’s it. People overcomplicate and overthink this. You have a hot girl. I have a hot girl. Let’s trade. The girl obviously has to like the other guy well enough (or want to fuck the girl).
>>This is the fundamental dynamic. It’s an exchange of value for value. I get more novelty than I’d have otherwise. You get more novelty than you’d have otherwise. Win-win. Fail to bring the value and you will likely fail at the sex club. Guys who have a bad time of game in general will also have a bad time if they manage to convince their one and only partner to come to a sex club with them.
Ms. Slav offers a lot of value, often without demanding it in return. This attracts a swarm, no, a swarming, sweaty horde, of horny excited dudes. They sense free value and want to jump right on it, like anyone would pick up a $20 bill on the sidewalk. Normal girls instinctively protect their value, to the point of missing many amazing experiences or running hot then cold. Ms. Slav doesn’t protect her value, to the point of being surprised when other dudes try to corral her, or expect her to f**k them automatically.
That happened last night, when she accepted a ticket to an event from a guy who thought Ms. Slav was his date. Then Ms. Slav asked me to come, and I went with her, while the guy was trying unsuccessfully to mate-guard her. I f**ked Ms. Slav, she went down on another girl, we left the main play area and then the other guy was trying to separate us. Lots of pointless, stupid drama followed, all of which stemmed from Ms. Slav accepting the “gift” in the form of a ticket from that guy, who I will call The Bitch. It’s not a gift. For most normal girls, this is obvious.
But I think that Ms. Slav thinks, or thought, that the typical problems of jealousy, possessiveness, etc. don’t happen in the non-monogamy world. She is wrong about that, however, and I don’t think I tried to explain this to her. In part because I misjudged her and didn’t realize just how sexually free and voracious she is. At the same time, she misjudges just how ravenous guys are towards hot young chicks. There is always a shortage of hot young chicks. There is always a shortage of guys with good game. The Bitch is pretty attractive (still a bitch, though, in his heart). He shouldn’t have the problems he apparently does, but I think he over-relies on the Internet. He may also have the good-looking person problem of being unaccustomed to rejection.
So yeah. I’m not sure I have the energy to manage Ms. Slav. Ms. Slav is a lot like Libido Girl, but even Libido Girl was more sensitive to the wants and needs of normal people than Ms. Slav is. That may partly be a function of Ms. Slav’s youth. Libido Girl was about ten years older than Ms. Slav, and she had a lot more life experience.
I feel like I’m trying to figure out what the next ten years of my life should look like: most of the last ten years have been spent building my career, seducing women, and doing crazy group sex. The other day, Peaches asked me about my sexual fantasies. The truth is that I have none left, none undone. What I am doing now has its virtues. But I’m thinking about value, both the value I provide and the value I seek. I sense gaps in both. The more I pay attention to this world, the more I think about the movement between value as an abstract concept and a concrete reality.
I’m also trying to write about some of my own inner conflicts. A lot of guys doing cold approach pickup don’t have many inner conflicts: they want to get laid and it’s a victory when they do. That is a fantastic situation. I’m more conflicted right now, and I’m trying to express those conflicts.
Part X: Ms. Slav’s priorities, and her challenges in non-monogamy
(Two weeks after the preceding part.)
Yesterday I did something new: I prioritized Peaches over Ms. Slav for sex. Ms. Slav has a somewhat difficult schedule, as do I, but she has been, or become, less reliable than I would like. I was tentatively supposed to see her for a nooner tomorrow… but Peaches was available, and I was more confident she would show up, and we’ve been having sex without condoms, and Ms. Slav has been becoming less reliable… so I picked Peaches.
The sex was great. Hotel sex is so dirty, and a lot of guys don’t seem to do it properly… except for guys I know. While everyone else is busy doing normal things I’m in a woman, doing the thing that everyone else really wants to do.
Ms. Slav is getting a lesson in sexual marketplace values (SMV), I think, as well as her own difficulties. She has met a series of people (men, women, and couples) who she has liked. One couple pulled away from her when she started dating another couple whom the first couple had had a falling out with. Another couple, led by a guy, tried to make her their “girlfriend” after like one sex date. She was flakey with him, then he had a blowup at a party or event or something (I’m hazy on the details myself). Guys keep adding her on Facebook, and she indulges them, in a way she should not. I think she should protect her value, which I have implied to her without using those precise words, but she is not doing that.
I think she believed the non-monogamy scene would be filled with people who aren’t placing limits or bonds on each other, and who don’t feel jealousy, as Ms. Slav says she doesn’t. She has found some people like that. But she has found guys who are trying to take her, make her theirs, and control her sexuality… just like in the regular, monogamous world, just to a different degree.
She doesn’t appreciate how desperately most guys desire young hot girls. There are just not that many really hot 18 – 22 year old girls in the scene. In anywhere except universities. When a young hot sexually explorative girl shows up, the sharks rise, like throwing fresh meat into the water. I still think Ms. Slav doesn’t quite understand her own value. That makes sense, because I have seen some of the not-hot girls she’s dated. She is less focused on the appearance of her partners than almost any other hot girl I’ve ever met. Most girls who are “pansexual” still aim for the hotter guys and girls. Ms. Slav doesn’t do that. Very unusual. I know the Internet is full of guys saying, “This girl is different,” but she is different. Ms. Slav can have sex with any straight man she wants. Guys do not experience the same with straight women.
At the same time, though, Ms. Slav wants someone like a “primary partner,” to use the lingo of the scene. At this stage in my life, I don’t think that should be me. Most people in the scene don’t want totally anonymous, random sex all the time. They want a boyfriend/girlfriend-type person who is not sexually exclusive, but who does form a team, for lack of a better term. As part of a team, each member has to put each other first. Guys want this an as a way of getting into parties and getting new girls by exchange with other couples. Girls want this for emotional reasons, and it’s also a defense against predation, since guys are less likely to try to coerce or heavily persuade girls with boyfriends.
Ms. Slav has also told me about yet another guy she liked but who has pulled back from her for unknown reasons. He hasn’t quite ghosted her, but I think he has de-prioritized her. He has a good setup… he probably doesn’t need a primary relationship with Ms. Slav. She’s surprised by that, I suspect. She is not used to large numbers of high-value guys who want but don’t need her.
Ms. Slav has now found that, when she meets new people and especially guys in the scene, they do one of two things: they try to “date” (monopolize) her, or they have sex with her for a while, then find another random for sex. She wants someone in between and is not finding him, because finding someone who wants to let her go f**k like wild and let the guy pick up whatever sex he can is probably not going to happen. She is also a high IQ person, and the average person bores her (apart from sex). High IQ, but inexperienced. I have figured out a lot of stuff Ms. Slav hasn’t yet figured out. She probably will, eventually, but I’m not like other guys she’s met. No one else has tried to bring her into the sex-positive scene.
I have seen a few chicks in the scene get into a scenario like Ms. Slav’s, where they are so sexually open that they cannot find a primary partner. Those chicks find all the casual sex they want but then are unhappy when the guys won’t become the chick’s primary partner and won’t even take them to dinner. Seriously, I’ve heard this complaint a couple times over the years: “Guys want to hit me up for 9pm sex, but why can’t we at least go out for dinner first?” Or, “I want to do other things than just have sex, then the guy leaves because he has to get up in the morning.” There is no point in explaining evolutionary biology or fundamental value to these girls because those ideas will just offend women, even as they feel the effects of evolutionary biology and value at work in their lives and relationships.
Hearing Ms. Slav’s story also clarifies to me why I do so well. I have the ability to meet and seduce new chicks, then bring them into parties: most guys can’t or won’t do that. My game is not as tight as some guys’s game, but it is sufficient for me to have a “reputation” as the guy who brings in new chicks. The Bitch, who I mentioned above, ought to have life on easy mode in this respect, but the bitch came right out of him when he didn’t get the things he wanted. For me, if one chick falters, I find another one and don’t complain about it. I don’t want to claim I’m a total stoic. I’m not. I get annoyed, I get hurt, internally I get annoyed with badly behaved chicks. But it’s also axiomatic that you can’t beat the market. That is obvious in financial markets, where people who attempt to beat the market usually end up bankrupt. People who attempt to “beat” the dating market may get some lays they “shouldn’t” have but tend to end up alone and disconnected.
Some guys will no doubt say that I shouldn’t have brought Ms. Slav into the community in the first place. But here’s the thing: with her, it wouldn’t have mattered. She is not going to be monogamous, no matter what. She has always had short-term relationships or cheated on her boy- or girlfriends. Some people virtually cannot be monogamous, and Ms. Slav is one of them… all I have done is given her an intellectual framework and community.
She doesn’t prioritize me sufficiently, or to the extent I would like, which is an unusual position for me to be in. Typically, women say they feel I am too interested in sex with other women and not devoted enough to the primary relationship. Now I’ve found someone who is doing to me, what I have arguably done to others. I think I’m hurt, or showing some signs of inner turmoil, because I’m accustomed to being in the power position in the relationship. I’m accustomed to being the one who is too much for the woman to handle. Now I see some bad signs of the sort I am used to giving to others, but in Ms. Slav, doing them to me. I have begun to de-prioritize her, as she has, I think, been doing, somewhat, to me. It may be unconscious in her, as she is genuinely not like normal chicks, or even like normal people, and she has long been estranged from most of her natural community and affinity group(s).
Most guys find sexually indiscriminate women unattractive for anything more than extremely casual, no-strings sex. I am among those guys, despite what I have written here, because even within the non-monogamy community, most people still exercise discretion. Those who don’t, have problems like Ms. Slav’s (if they are female and attractive) and will be expelled from it (if they are male and do not bring value back into the community).
A chick like Ms. Slav is amazing for the sheer number of sexual opportunities she opens up, but I’m not sure that is what I’m seeking right now. Most couples in the scene form a team. If they are not a team and fundamentally devoted to one another, they fall apart. Yes, I know that most anger-phase Red Pill guys will say it’s all the fault of the evil woman for defecting, but often it is the fault of the man for de-prioritizing the woman. To do this successfully demands a lot of social, emotional, and sexual intelligence, which most people just don’t have.
Ms. Slav also gets attention wherever I bring her. I have also brought her to yoga with me a couple times. There is a woman there, probably in her early 30s and okay, who has been flirting with me. This is unusual for me, as yoga classes and gyms have not been productive places for me and I rarely hit on women in those environments… I go back to the primary yoga studio and gym over and over again and do not wish to poison the waters. Anyway, I hadn’t mentioned Ms. Slav to her… and now she’s seen Ms. Slav… and she had a barrage of questions about Ms. Slav. I admitted to the woman at the yoga studio, “Ms. Slav is too young for anything serious, but I like her.” Which is true, but appropriately vague. Women love vague, and that’s why so few women become engineers. The yoga studio has surprisingly few hot chicks in it. Every yoga apparel company advertises with mid-20s hardbodies, but the reality has been somewhat different, in my experience. Yoga also doesn’t make up for sugar intake.
I have been emphasizing that non-monogamy is hard, although it is hard in a different way than game itself.
I travel some for work and Ms. Slav is out at events, almost every weekend, and I know what that means. She has zoomed past me in terms of wanting to go to events. She wants to go to a lot of events, and now that she’s well-known she gets invited to literally everything going on in my city.
I may shift away from Ms. Slav and towards choosing her for couple-to-couple dates. Her love of f**king and lack of filter makes her well-suited to that role. But those same qualities make her ill-suited to being a primary partner or girlfriend, as she is finding out.
Part XI: Ms. Slav’s problem
(A week after the preceding part.)
Ms. Slav and I had a talk and an exchange of long emails and I found out the reason why she’s been colder to me: she feels hurt that I’ve slept with other girls, without her. I’d mentioned idly to her before it happened that I was thinking about seeing Peaches on my own. I literally forgot that I’d said it, because Ms. Slav has been f**king so many people that me saying I might bang one in particular seemed beneath note. And now she is unhappy about that? Or that I didn’t check in with her first about it?
If you’ve been following this saga, and you’re like me, you’ll have the same reaction: Hahahahahaha.
This is the same girl who’s f**ked like ten or fifteen new people in the last several months. Or more? Who forgets the names of guys who’ve f**ked her? Who’s gone to sex parties without “checking in” with me first? I think, anyway. Whose total freedom I haven’t complained about?
Turns out we’re all hypocrites, to an extent, you just have to dig deep enough. Ms. Slav likely feels greater jealousy than she let on. She seemed to want to live in a world of no rules or limits, but, like most people who think so, she actually doesn’t. She wants no rules for herself, but some rules for others.
I’m glad I learned the greater part of her feelings while she wasn’t there to see me laughing.
Like most hypocrites, Ms. Slav has a theory about why her behavior has been exemplary and mine hasn’t been, and that theory involves her telling me things first, which she has re-cast as “checking in with me.” Almost no one can reconcile primary relationships with totally unfettered, unchecked sexual freedom and license. Not even Ms. Slav.
None of this is to detract from Ms. Slav’s virtues, which I have enumerated, and I don’t want to devalue and dismiss her. But she is going to learn that you get what you give. She has been giving wanton, relentless, unchecked promiscuity… so she is getting it back in return.
She has also told me a long, probably true set of stories about guys “falling in love” with her, often without even banging her first. They give her shit. They behave in unattractive, weak ways. I haven’t done anything like that. Maybe she is surprised that I’m not investing in her or converting deeply into her frame and world. I’m way too experienced to fall for that. She is not at all suitable for long-term investment. I didn’t expect this level of wantonness. I’ve seen it in women, but it’s pretty rare, because most women consciously or subconsciously want some male investment… which Ms. Slav will find very hard to get.
Maybe she will learn.
Maybe she won’t.
The other thing I have to remember is that she’s very young. She seems much older, so I forget her age, but when I was her age, I was probably even more blinkered than she is. And while there are aspects of what’s really going on that I can tell her, there are other aspects I need to not say (about evolutionary biology, for example). We may stay in touch even after the sexual part of our relationship ends, or mostly ends, which I think will happen. I may even be the driving force to sever the sexual part. I may end up being more of a mentor-type person to her. Or nothing. I cannot say. I might be okay with dissolution, to be honest. She is too much for me. I don’t think she would accept a more casual relationship, despite that being our trend line. Most chicks are reluctant to accept a step down in the relationship trajectory. In most ways, Ms. Slav is not like most chicks. She might be, however, in this way.
Part XII: A date with Ms. Slav’s friend from home
(About a week after the preceding part.)
Friday night I saw Ms. Slav’s friend from her home country… we’ll call her Home Friend. She’s been hitting me up, although I did extend the invitation to dinner. Pretty straightforward deal, she took a car over, and I meant to have dinner first and then f**k her… instead, we spent like an hour and a half f**king in various configurations. I didn’t last very long during the first penetrative session, as she is young and so so tight. And… she told me that she has an IUD now. We know what that information, volunteered, means. I spent a long time on foreplay, warmup, spanking, etc., based on her feedback from last time and the fact that she’s complained about college guys being in a hurry to get in her and then not in a hurry to get her off. So I deliberately took a long time with her, ramping her up from normal-world psychology to sex-world psychology.
I’m not sure if, the first time Ms. Slav and I had a threesome with this girl, who I’ll call “Home Friend,” Home Friend was a kind of peace offering because of Ms. Slav’s sex rampage. Or if Ms. Slav genuinely wanted Home Friend to have a good sex experience, which she seems not to have had. Home Friend seems to be very interested in sex with men, but has not had satisfying sex with men. She also seems to like somewhat gentler sex than some girls… like Ms. Slav… Home Friend likes it very firm, but not as violent as Ms. Slav likes. Home Friend is more normal than Ms. Slav, except that she has Ms. Slav as a friend and influence, and Ms. Slav spreads her high sexual charge to whoever is around her.
Whatever the cause, I have to love Ms. Slav bringing over another hot 18-year old for sex. Did I mention that Ms. Slav can be awesome? This was an awesome move on her part. I’ve done the vast majority of the seducing and logistics and setup over the course of our relationship, but I appreciate Ms. Slav giving me Home Friend.
Most girls are followers, and if their environment is sexually charged and sex positive, they become more sexual. If their environment is prudish and sterile, they become more prudish and sterile. Skilled players learn to create an environment that is sexually charged without being too overt, direct, or gross. Most chicks are creatures of the imagination, rather than visually-oriented creatures like men. Ms. Slav is normatively highly sexed and sex positive, which is unusual… she’s got much more leadership and preference than typical chicks. I like her. Ms. Slav likes that I know what I’m doing and that, unlike most guys, I “get” her. For a lot of guys, it takes a long time to understand chicks and be competent.
With Home Friend, I bought her a vibe and told her to use it on her clit while she was bent over and I was f**king her, and the results were spectacular. She said, “Sex with you is amazing.” It’s always flattering when a chick says that, but I don’t think it is as true as she thinks… I think Home Friend is like Ms. Slav in that she simply hasn’t run into a guy who knows what he’s doing in bed. I’m competent, and she’s just used to super young, inexperienced guys. Probably with some super young, semi-experienced guys who still take their cues from porn. I don’t know how many guys she’s f**ked… I don’t care, either.
I’m just calmer, more directive, and more knowledgeable than those young guys who take too many cues from pr0n. Pr0n primarily caters to male tastes, desires, and fantasies… and professional porn very rarely represents the buildup normal chicks need. Home Friend and I talked quite a lot about that. I told her that, with young inexperienced guys, she needs to train them to do what she wants. She resisted that idea, which is not surprising because she is lackadaisical and doesn’t even know herself, let alone anyone else. Like most girls, she wants someone to lead her. Ms. Slav is much more advanced and mature than Home Friend. But I gave Home Friend some pointers about how to express herself without being dominant and gave her some suggestions for videos to watch with guys she likes but who are bad in bed.
Most men have to learn how chicks work through trial and error (like I did). It would be nice for chicks to take guys aside and be like, “Do this, this, and this, and think that, that, and that.” But chicks hate leading or educating in bed, and most guys don’t try to learn what to do or how to slow down, figure out the chick’s feedback loops, etc. Truly a situation that foments frustration.
Home Friend did have several incredible, whole-body-shaking orgasms from cunnilingus. The kind where she can’t talk for a few minutes after. The kind that bonds a girl to a man. After each one of the monster orgasms, I either f**ked her some more (my last orgasm I didn’t think I could have… I thought I was spent… but feeling her p***y around my fingers and her moans and the feel of her body coming got me up for one more round). It took Home Friend a lot of time to lose her nervousness. I’ve been through the process of breaking in sexually inexperienced girls a bunch of times, so I was accepting of her nerves, and that made the whole thing flow better.
With the “sex with you is amazing comment,” basically, she’s inexperienced and is mistaking competence with being “amazing.” I have some tricks and techniques available and am good at reading the feedback loop between her and me. She reads that as being amazing. She also said that guys her age would rather play videogames than f**k girls. This might be flattery towards me… or it might be true… I can’t say. She seemed surprised by me being uninterested in professional sports or TV shows. We talked about life’s highest and best experiences and how those are rarely mediated by screen. I have a sort of “guru” spiel that I’ve given too many times. Chicks listen to it in the post-sex, good-feeling moment… and the next they’re back on Instagram and Facebook, pissed off that Becky has such a good picture of her in a bikini on a beach vacation. Why isn’t MY life like that???
Saturday morning I sent Home Friend on her way. She wants to make plans with me for next week, but I have Peaches scheduled for Tuesday (thankfully not Monday, today, as I need a break). Saturday night I went out with Ms. Slav. Awkwardly, Home Friend was messaging me while I was with Ms. Slav. Fortunately, I make it a practice of not looking at my phone and even turning it to do-not-disturb mode, so the one did not see the messages from the other.
I don’t think Home Friend and I mentioned Ms. Slav at all. A chick may be inexperienced, but that does not mean she is not devious or wicked. Home Friend has communicated a lot to me about who she is and what she’s about. What a girl does to others, she will eventually do to you. Many guys want to ignore this basic lesson in the heat of passion and in the positive feelings from railing a new chick. But the hottest passion inevitably cools… who are you left with then? For my purposes with Home Friend, it doesn’t matter… and Home Friend doesn’t have the experience t perceive this. Plus, she has her own dualistic mating strategy to contend with, in which she wants investment from the kind of men who are least likely to invest in her.
Home Friend doesn’t do ANY pics or videos, so I’m guessing she’s used to opsec. I want em, but she’s firmly resistant. Most chicks can be persuaded and find sex tapes flattering. Not this one. Not right now. Seriously. I have no pics of her and haven’t friended her Facebook and she hasn’t friended me. Very unusual behavior for young chicks. Ms. Slav has said Home Friend loves social media, too, and that Home Friend is on it all the time.
Except with me.
Much as I like making sex tapes, if a chick is adamant, her wishes must be respected.
I told Home Friend to stop dating college guys cause they’re convenient and to get online. Most girls, from what I hear, are too inept to do this. We also talked about how to get guys to talk about their sexual interests and experiences (she seemed surprised to be getting advice about how to date other guys from a guy she’s f**ked… I think she is used to mate guarding). Inexperienced guys won’t be able to talk much about sex or, most importantly for Home Friend, foreplay. Ms. Slav seems to need less foreplay than the average girl. It’s fun to make Ms. Slav wait, but after five minutes she’s wet and ready. Home Friend likes much more prolonged foreplay and, from what I can tell, penetrative sex is much better for her after she’s come once already.
Chicks, man. They’re all different. I wish I’d known when I was younger. But when I was younger, I was like a lot of high school and college boys… the ones Home Friend is disenchanted with… always pressed for time and space, always worried about someone walking in, always stuck in a car or in some other uncomfortable spot. A weekend alone could be a luxury oasis. I was too caught up in ego and performance anxiety to properly let flow happen.
I’ve considered a branch swing from Ms. Slav to Home Friend. The risk is that 1. Ms. Slav may be extremely mad and cut both of us off—an outcome that would not kill me but that I do not yet favor. 2. Home Friend may prefer me as undercover lover to official going steady guy. She is too socially normally to want a guy my age in her social universe, I think. 3. Home Friend is getting attached TOO fast. 4. Overall, Home Friend is less mature than Ms. Slav, I judge. 5. I don’t want to be in an in-depth relationship with a girl her age, however tight she is.
What I’m doing with Home Friend is unethical in the context of non-monogamy, or at the very least against the spirit of what we are doing. Guys in the game learn what rules should apply to wingmen, e.g. the guy who opens calls the shots. The guy who opens two girls, gets to chase the girl who most interests him, and the other guy has to let the opener chase first. Otherwise, the two guys are going to have crossfire problems and piss each other off. In non-monogamy, whoever brings a person in doesn’t have control over that person exactly, but should have priority over the secondary person. Ms. Slav should have priority over Home Friend, but I have not given that to her.
In my defense, Ms. Slav has f**ked a million people in the last several months. Ms. Slav has not been following priority rules, so I haven’t done that either. Once you start down this path, it’s hard to stop it. Not impossible. I have seen couples pull back, have a reconciliation, and agree to prioritize properly in the future. Ms. Slav may be like that. To make a primary partnership arrangement work, each person has to quell their immediate passion and ensure the other person is prioritized. Otherwise, the arrangement fails.
Home Friend also illustrates how the first bang is always the hardest. After the first bang, you’re a known quantity and you don’t “count.” For this reason, I’ve had many chicks swing around like a comet, banging me when they’re between boyfriends or horny, etc.
Ms. Slav may also be swinging around to greater interest in me, but do I feel the same of her? Less so. Age disparity is too great. Unless I just want to keep spending my life f**king and chasing chicks. Maybe I do. But I’m not so sure. It’s less satisfying than it was. Don’t get me wrong, f**king Home Friend was great. But in a way, it also feels like season 6 of a TV show, when the writers have pretty much exhausted the initial premise.
I forgot to wash and change the sheets between Home Friend on Friday and Ms. Slav on Saturday. Or I didn’t bother? If Ms. Slav noticed she didn’t say anything.
Part XIII: A sex party where Ms. Slav is happy with me again
(A day or two after the previous part.)
I went to a party with Ms. Slav on Saturday night, and Ms. Slav was on good behavior. Or she was genuinely interested in hooking up with this chick, which she did for a long time, with me participating for a lot of it. Regardless of motives, things went well. Ms. Slav was more solicitous than she has been. She was a little tired herself, and I was… the “tired” came from Home Friend the night before, but I didn’t share that with Ms. Slav. Ms. Slav was also a bit more subdued, and she let herself be led more easily.
Later on, we left and got some food, and then went back to my place. I was ready to crash, but Ms. Slav wanted to chat. She asked me to be her primary partner. And I froze… and then punted… I have seen less of her in the last month than I would like. I asked what makes her ask now, and I told her that I’d been thinking about this exact issue. She said that I’m willing to let her be free and that I’m more reliable than anyone else she’s met. Fuuuuccccckkkkkkk… “reliable” is synonymous with “boring” in girl-speak. Particularly young-girl-speak. Ms. Slav could tell I wasn’t happy with that description, although I tried to hide my initial response, and I didn’t quite want to tell her that “reliable” means “boring,” but I was dancing around that idea some.
We had a long talk about reciprocity and how, from my perspective, she’d been out f**king everyone under the sun… and she said that I would never have met Peaches if not for her (somewhat true, but less than she thinks), and that I should have “checked” with her first. I explained that I hear what she’s saying, but that, again from my perspective, she seems to be splitting hairs. It was a deeper conversation than I expected out of her.
This is the girl who doesn’t experience jealousy and who opposes drama. Like I said in an earlier post, push hard enough and we’re all hypocrites in some way. Ms. Slav isn’t ready to acknowledge her hypocrisy. I don’t think she can even see it. I think she’s too deep in her own worldview to perceive it. She stuck to her story.
I debated telling her about me having independent sex with Home Friend. I can’t tell how close they really are: not best-friends close, but close enough. I know Ms. Slav won’t like me f**king Home Friend. I know she won’t like finding out that I f**ked Home Friend later. But Ms. Slav is soon going back to her home country for a couple weeks, and I don’t know what will happen when she returns. I don’t know what I want to happen. The last couple months have been so debauched, like I wonder if this is a kind of last hurrah for this part of my life. But I’ve built up all these skills and connections… there is a part of me that thinks it would almost be a waste to stop now.
In my own life, for a long time my mind was congruent: I love f**king, I like group sex, let’s just do as much as I can, as often as I can, while still maintaining my other duties and responsibilities. Now I’m more ambivalent, more divided, and less sure of what the focus of my life should be. I don’t think it’s an accident that I began writing online around the time I began feeling ambivalent. When my mind was united, I felt less need to share or explain. And my job soaked up pretty much every spare moment and thought. Now my role has changed and I have more time, but maybe more time isn’t so good for me after all. I have been blessed with many extraordinary experiences and opportunities. I will never be one of those people who looks back at their sex life and thinks, “I wish I had had the courage to try this, this, and this.” I have tried it all. For the good, sometimes for the less good. I have learned much. Some of that I am passing on. I wonder who will do what I do, in the next generation. The non-monogamy culture is out there. Seduction artists who combine it with game can achieve extraordinary things, as most guys in the scene lack game, and most guys who have decent game do not know about the scene, it seems.
With Ms. Slav, I left the “primary partner” discussion tabled. I think she may leave, and lose interest (time away is deadening for any woman, but especially a fizzy, distractible young girl), and by the time she comes back the problem will have solved itself. Ms. Slav thinks we fit well together because I have been superficially less judgmental of her behavior than others have. In reality, I know that chastising girls is largely useless. I know that Ms. Slav is the sort of girl who is going to have to discover principles of reciprocity the hard way. I’m enjoying the ride… I’m not in it for the long term.
Sunday morning she spent a long time going down on me. We went out for coffee. She went home, I went back to my place for a nap. In the afternoon I began writing the preceding part and then this one. I need to get myself back to a more normal, rhythmic schedule. This weekend has been crazy.
Part XIV: More Peaches
(Three or four weeks after the preceding part.)
Have seen Peaches again, because she’s back after visiting her family out of state. Also very satisfying sex. She seems not to understand how hot she is, and she told me some unusual background material. She is a bit too much of a follower, and that has harmed her economic life. I can’t imagine she is going to stay married, but I think she only wants upheaval in one part of her life right now. I told her about Ms. Slav and then about a new lover of mine, “Cassie.” Peaches and I may go to a party together in the next few weeks.
Peaches also says she wants to have a family. This perked my ears. I’ve been thinking about that comment since she dropped it. That would be an interesting line to pursue. Very unlikely that I will pursue it, given the myriad of problems with this line, but we seem to be more aligned in many ways than most girls. She is also in the right age range for me. Younger is great for fun, but girls under the age of 27 or 28 will not work with me for any kind of longer relationship, more substantial relationship.
Peaches entered the non-monogamous world relatively recently and may be getting her total f**k fest phase out of her system. If/when she does… it is not inconceivable to imagine going further with her, based on what I know now. “Not inconceivable” is a low bar.
I saw another guy, successful at game, write…
>Towards the end of the year the apathy was starting to set it. It had been a long one and I went through a lot of girls. As was probably apparent in my posts, I was getting fed up. I would frequently think about two things;
>What is the point of all this?
>What is my endgame?>The point is obviously to meet and have sex with new girls as we are apparently biologically programmed to do as males. I really enjoy meeting new girls on the street and dating them, the chase, it’s great fun. But then you bang them and then what?
>In my earlier days I would bask in the glory of a new notch for almost a week. Now that glorious feeling lasts around 5 minutes. I wrote a drunken tweet [4] about feeling empty inside after a recent notch.
Sound familiar? Sure does to me. “Player disease” you might call it. He says he is in his early 30s, so a bit young for those feelings, but they are not unheard of among guys who’ve been in the game a couple years. Some of us, we’re a bit like Tolkien’s Elves, still living in Middle-earth but thinking about going West.
Before I become too insufferably melancholy, Ms. Slav is back and heard about Cassie and me, and she was or is unhappy about that. Not unhappy enough not to f**k me, fortunately. She still seems not to get reciprocity? I talked to Peaches about this dilemma / behavior. The talk with Ms. Slav led to another long talk about principles, but I am not sure Ms. Slav completely absorbed it. She may also be intuiting or feeling my own uncertainty about her. I like her… but our age disparity is too great… and she is too sexually active even for me. If had run into her ten years ago, even five, I might have gone for it. Not today.
No great stories about heroic pickup, just a continuation of previous threads.
It is so interesting talking to people—really talking to them—and they are so different in private than they are on social media. The more I talk to people, deeply, the more I think social media is garbage. The gap between the internal self and the external self is too wide for it to be interesting. All three of the women listed in the title, their true lives are very different from their social media lives. All three of them are much more minimally involved with social media than typical 18 – 30 year old women, but even then the gap is large. Cassie has a job that involves some social media use. I seem to get along better with girls who are not social-media addicts.
Part XV: Ms. Slav flakes
(About two weeks after the preceding part.)
Ms. Slav flaked on me earlier this week, sending me an elaborate message that I did not like, and I haven’t heard from her since. Like all people I don’t like flaking, and I really don’t like it an hour before we’re supposed to meet, as that prevents me from making alternate plans. I assume she’ll swing back around at some point, but who knows?
Cassie is drifting away, I think. I think I caught her early in her experience and she is refining what she wants. She may come to an event with me this weekend. Not counting on it.
Peaches told me some interesting things about her husband/marriage that are too specific to repeat, but they reinforce the basic ideas that 1) If you’re not f**king her properly and diligently, someone else will and 2) chicks love ambitious, accomplished dudes. Her husband seems to be moving from a sphere of great ambition and accomplishment to less ambition and accomplishment. For a woman, that is the equivalent of a chick getting fat. Guys don’t like it when their wives get fat, and chicks don’t like it when their guys lose their ambition.
In the manosphere, there are many supposed stories about evil, evil women ditching good, blameless guys. Some of the stories are true, I’m sure, but others are probably leaving out key details. Remember that we all have a narrative, and “Most people’s narratives leave some shit out. Whenever someone tells you some story, think about the dark matter of that story.” There are not many really evil people (or women) out there, and many of these one-sided stories are not as they seem.
Or, Peaches is just rationalizing her feelings. What she has said does make sense, though. I think she keeps getting involved with men who aren’t very masculine, setting herself for inevitable disappointment with grass-eating herbivores. Particularly when she runs into a guy like me. I’m not some macho Jocko Willink superman guy, but I have good masculine presence and polarity, which allows chicks to be feminine and submissive. This is particularly true in bed. Peaches said to me that she likes “Not having to decide what to do.” Something I have been told in the past, too. A lot of guys who struggle with the seduction arts are simply not very masculine and don’t understand what being masculine means, or why masculinity is attractive to women. Without that fundamental, they will struggle.
Peaches is also a reminder that you should at least do a light check to see if married chicks or chicks in relationships are ready to cheat. Take enough shots, plausibly deniable shots depending on the circumstances, and you don’t know what you’ll find.
I have been meaning to get back in touch with Home Friend, the one who came via Ms. Slav, but I haven’t done so yet. I ought to.
I’ve been thinking about trying online dating again. I hold back because Peaches is holding up well. We went on a date with another woman, a unicorn, and f**ked her nicely. Can’t tell if the unicorn is going to stick around or not, but probably not, as I tried to get her out for a one-on-one unsuccessfully. I’m also not sure what I’m looking for, which isn’t good. Am I looking for more casual sex? Or am I looking to mostly exit that part of the game? I feel like I should clarify that question for myself. It is obviously possible to pursue casual sex while looking for something longer, but which side you prefer will shade your strategies and preferences.
In most areas, it also seems that online systems have a relatively small reservoir of good chicks in them. Big cities like NYC/LA may be the exception. Most cities smaller than that, it seems possible to exhaust the reservoir pretty quickly, and then need to wait a couple months for it to replenish. The best chicks log into online dating and find a guy pretty quickly.
I sometimes wonder if I know too much... with a lot of chicks, I feel like I spend weeks or months explaining how male-female relations actually work, why conventional marriage doesn’t work, what common relationship pitfalls are, how game theory works, etc. Books, talks, blah blah blah. Almost no chicks appear to know any of this. Most chicks seem to buy into the pop-culture idea of “love at first sight” (or pretty quickly) followed by happily ever after. No wonder we have the divorce rate we do. Pop culture reinforces pre-conceived notions about love at first sight, and then people try to do real-life relationships that way and go splat.
For Ms. Slav, not knowing any of this stuff is reasonable, because she is young and doesn’t know any better. For older women, not knowing any of this stuff is less acceptable but no less true. In the defense of women, it seems very few guys know this and tell women about it, either.
Part XVI: Flakiness increases
(About two weeks after the last part.)
Last night I dragged myself to a kind of art and music insider event (hard to describe it precisely, but it overlaps with the non-monogamy community), and there was… the guy I nicknamed “The Bitch.”
I guess we’re okay now, because we arrived at the same time and had this moment where we were eyeing each other, deciding whether to renew hostilities or not, and I just smiled and treated him normally. So maybe I was overly dramatic in the description. I’m still not a fan of him, but we’re likely to keep running into each other. He is annoying, but he is good looking enough to bring new chicks into the scene and community, which makes him popular. I suspect him of being a trust-fund guy.
The event was way too loud, but I felt like I needed to keep up community status by making an appearance. I furiously hit on a thin, hot chick who had her big tits prominently displayed in a low-cut top; lots of good laughter, banter, etc. but then she denied the number. I went a little more direct in getting it by saying we should get a drink, rather than cloaking intent in future event planning. Later in the night, The Bitch was flirting with her and DID seem to get the number. Not 100% sure, though it seemed like it. Also flirted some with a chick who is pretty new (and hot), though she likes some kind of death metal techno music (don’t recall the specifics of it, but it sounded stupid to me) and I collected the email. Felt a bit on autopilot throughout. Tiredness and previous oversocializing held me back.
I had a break from Ms. Slav while traveling, but the last week has been tiring. I’m a bit socially exhausted and, despite Ms. Slav’s bad behavior, I’d like to keep her in the fold. I’m not sure whether she has an IUD yet or not, but I’m going to keep wrapping it up with her because she is f**king around enough that she is going to have a problem sooner or later. This is not always a popular view online, but I feel like I don’t don’t properly bond with a chick unless we’re bare and I finish in her. I believe most girls feel similarly, whether or not they’ll admit it.
As for the break, it’s been longer than the traveling… Ms. Slav cancelled a date like an hour before we were supposed to meet, so I went silent for about a week, maybe a little more, then f**ked her right before I left on a trip. It seems like she is now worried about losing me… which is a nice position, but maybe with the wrong girl.
Ms. Slav has a new girlfriend from school, and I would LOVE to get that threesome. But I’m taking it very slowly and circuitously. Less is more. The threesome action w/ Home Friend some time ago happened due to patience on my part. Ms. Slav definitively rejected The Bitch in part because of his impatience. He pushed too hard at an event, and that turned her off enough for her to cut him off. Many guys kill good things with impatience.
Calibration is such a tricky skill: knowing when to push and when to pull back. Knowing how to leave the girl enough plausible deniability. Knowing how to propose a proposition without it seeming forced. These skills are very hard to articulate. That’s another reason so many online questions from guys are difficult to answer… there is so much calibration and information available from real life, that gets stripped away in online questions and reports. Some of the principles are easy to articulate (raise your value, raise your value delivery mechanism, show your masculinity, think about the law of reciprocation), but getting them appropriately integrated into a given situation… so much tougher. So much more delicate. I think that is why I tend to write long posts, and why I wrote the book… it’s not possible to fully describe what’s happening in a small number of words. Sometimes it is, like when a girl is into you and makes the bang easy, or when a girl isn’t into you and rejects you solidly.
I also hate to sound like a chick, but I am trying to get a little bit more in touch with my own feelings around how I should direct my life. My work life is going pretty well. I’m trying to figure out where my love/sex life should go. Especially as I consider booting up conventional online dating for the first time in a couple years. Non-monogamous online dating has a different set of assumptions embedded in it.
What else… at the yoga studio I go to, a chick with a fiancé (who I met briefly) has been oddly flirty. She’s also a pothead. May try to make a move there. She seems about late 20s / early 30s, low 7. Another chick is much older and moving from student to teacher… I think she’s 40, maybe early 40s, and yet I find myself strangely attracted to her. She’s very slender and a former dancer. Me feeling attracted to her also makes no sense, yet I feel it.
Part XVII: More sex, but mostly one-on-one
(About a month after the preceding part.)
I have been seeing less of Ms. Slav lately, and (a little) more of Home Friend. Ms. Slav seems to be intensely dating one or two women… which is great and all that, but not of interest to me, since one of the women is in the scene and is just not that attractive or appealing to me; I’ve known her for years and always found her a little off, but Ms. Slav seems enchanted by her. She’s not terrible looking, probably a high 6, but I don’t get that kick from her. Ms. Slav seems to be a true bisexual, which is not very common. And she’s having some family issues, etc. Amazing how family issues seem to crop up AFTER a couple weeks of flakiness… they never seem to precede the flakiness.
Back to the point, I got an out-of-the-blue message from Home Friend last week, after not having f**ked her for a while, and I arranged for her to come around last Sunday afternoon for some extremely intense, pleasurable sex. So far Home Friend and I have barely seen each other, except for pure sex dates. Did some drinks a while ago, before the threesomes, and then she shifted into texting me when she’s horny. I’ve tried to up-shift her into showing up more often but failed. Home Friend also seems to know that I’m trying to fit her in among other chicks (Ms. Slav, Peaches, and some occasionals). Home Friend seems to want a boyfriend, but a boyfriend on her terms, which she is not getting. She is also somewhat shy and reserved, so I think the only guys she’s getting are the ones who have the self-regard to pursue her vigorously. If they’re pursuing her vigorously, they’re probably pursuing other girls vigorously, too. Smart girls who want boyfriends/relationships learn to make the first move, as that can allow them to acquire guys who might be more loyal than the guys brave enough to chase them down and spear them.
I digress, so last Sunday Home Friend re-appeared, we f**ked, I had a blast. I’m seeing more chicks, of the wrong sort, than I would like, so there is that… but “make hay while the sun is shining,” etc. I also don’t have access-on-command to super young hot chicks, so when one happens along I try to prioritize her, as I did for a while w/ Ms. Slav. A guy never knows when his last really young hot chick will happen… it is conceivable that Ms. Slav and Home Friend are my last in their age brackets.
Home Friend said I was “cold.” I’ve heard variants on that idea before, so it’s probably true… I laughed and told her that it takes a special kind of girl to really warm me up and open me up. A good response, I thought. I believe Home Friend is seeking a boyfriend and not finding one. She can find guys she doesn’t like and she can find guys who will use her casual sex, but she can’t combine the two.
Saturday night was cozier. I told her that I want to bring her and Ms. Slav together to a sex party. Home Friend seems to be just a little interested, but not enough for me to push it. Ms. Slav has talked to Home Friend quite a bit about group sex, and Home Friend isn’t going for it. That is okay with me. Not all girls go for it. Home Friend might be more amenable in a couple years, when she has more experience. She’s also away from home and does not have Ms. Slav’s boldness. Or, it seems, Ms. Slav’s IQ. Home Friend is a lot more normal, except for the way she is hanging out with outliers like Ms. Slav and me.
Home Friend also switched out her IUD, as she had a Mirena IUD that is smaller and narrower but slowly releases hormones, and now she has a Paragard IUD that is pure copper. It means she has heavier periods but also a stronger sex drive. That might mean I see more of her. Though it might be better for me to see less of her. It is hard to choose to do the things I need to do, when a girl like Home Friend is happy to be bent over by me.
When Home Friend is ovulating, she is off-the-charts horny, as seemed to happen last week. Many chicks with libido problems experience libido problems due to drugs (anti-depressants, etc.) or due to their birth control. For that reason it’s important to encourage chicks, especially young and dumb chicks, to adjust their BC if the first one they try doesn’t work for them.
This is also why you never know what you’re going to get when you approach chicks. You may approach a chick who is feeling fat and bloated from PMS or her period. She is not interested in men at that moment. You may approach a girl who is ovulating and receptive. The same girl may be receptive one day and totally closed off two weeks later, based on nothing in your control. That’s also why men need to be non-reactive to female emotional outbursts… chicks have intense feelings that many chicks are bad at controlling. If you put two combustible, emotional people together, they tend to explode and break up.
Home Friend has not been much willing to make advance plans. Probably because she is playing the field. She may also just be spacey. I think she’s just using me for some light casual sex, although she seems to come quite hard and be pretty into me when we’re together. She might also be holding back because she can sense me holding back.
This story might be a little disjointed because I’ve been writing it like one paragraph at a time, since last Sunday or Monday. Something or other keeps coming up.
Part XVIII: Slipping away
(About a month after the preceding part.)
Ms. Slav came over and we discussed a surprise foursome we had at a party to which I brought another girl, who I’d picked up on the street, and what else in Ms. Slav life has been going on (a lot), what else has been going in mine (not that much), and the nature of being in different stages of life. The sex was weirdly tender and emotional… I don’t think it was “goodbye sex,” but it may be “de-escalation” sex. Ms. Slav is still learning a lot. One nice thing about Ms. Slav is that pretty much any time we get together, we have sex, no matter what else is happening. Regular f**king really does smooth over a lot of other issues… if more women understood this and implemented it, the divorce rate would be considerably lower. Just getting on the knees and sucking a couple times a week really does strengthen relationships. Couples therapists need to start assigning blowjob therapy if they are serious about helping people in relationships. MDMA is vital for couples therapy and sex is vital for men and women.
Another chick I’ve been seeing, “Low-cut top girl” also wants to know why I don’t take her out to dinner, which, along with music/concerts, has been a historical sore point and push-pull point for me and chicks. I told her to read The Millionaire Next Door (a great book, you should read it too). I might give her a copy if I see her again, though she is the kind of girl who is going to yo-yo back and forth or just ghost me when she finds another dude. I have lower financial discipline than I did when I really had no money… I need to quit buying camera gear, which is a vice of mine… but I still have pretty decent financial discipline… and part of that is just not spending money on stupid shit like expensive dinners out. I like a lot of what are now called “fast casual” places… she apparently likes expensive sit-down places? I dunno, I can countenance those at work… I can deal with them rarely… a lot of the time I’d rather just have some falafel or a burrito bowl, plus extra cash in pocket. Real freedom is not having to worry about money.
Most restaurants are also just too damn noisy, and that’s terrible for social bonding or learning.
Mostly, though… it’s the money… and the number of people who are better to talk to, than a book is to be read… well… it’s not as high as I’d like. I tweeted, “Building the mind is a lifelong project.” If you are not reading you are probably not learning as much as you can or should.
Ms. Slav, though… Ms. Slav is also discovering the downside of saying “yes” too much… she is stretched thin. I would phrase it as, she is continuing to give away too much value… so everyone is coming out to grab some… and she needs to retract / guard her value a little better. Chicks would never frame something this way… but that is what I see. I told her about my growing discomfort with how I am living, and my desire to do something different. I think she gets it. Although she thinks I can do family AND do the life I have been living… it’s not impossible, just really f**king unlikely. One rule in game is to assume the median girl, at least until proven otherwise. Guys know that it’s POSSIBLE to be standing around at a regular party or whatever, and have some stunning 8 open you and then f**k her later that night. It’s also POSSIBLE for Tinder to work that way. It’s just super unlikely. You want to take high-percentage shots. In today’s NBA, that means threes or right next to the basket. It’s POSSIBLE to win with a lot of long twos… just not likely.
Guys who want to win, try to put themselves in the best position possible to win at whatever their game is. For a guy who wants to be in the game, that means moving to a city and not living in a rural area or an exurb. For a guy who wants a kid, how I am living… is not the optimal way to go about that goal.
With Low-cut top girl, I feel like I am experiencing deja vu… she is new to me but is overall close to the typical female. So close that I feel like I’ve already seen everything she says or does. Ms. Slav is the exact opposite.
Part XIX: The end
There wasn’t a satisfying, narratively interesting end: Ms. Slav kept becoming more attenuated and flakier, and I’d see her less. I was ramping up a different, longer-term relationship, and the new woman knew too much about Ms. Slav, which nearly ended things. I eventually stopped contacting Ms. Slav, and it was pretty rare for her to reach out throughout our relationship. Neither of us ghosted each other, exactly. I was in the wrong stage of life to be with her for longer.
I treated Ms. Slav suboptimally. I should have let her go much earlier than I did. I didn’t want to let her go, cause she was so hot, but I didn’t want to get in an actual relationship with her, because how’s that going to go, with a chick half my age? I was negotiating with another chick closer to my age during part of this period, and so I wasn’t totally in with Ms. Slav, but she was so hot that I didn’t want to let her go, either. A weakness on my part. I should’ve been a man and let her go sooner. After we’d been f**king, I was clearer headed and thinking about the long term, instead of the short. Long-term, where could Ms. Slav and I go? Nowhere, really. I needed to stop being a fuckboy and player, and she was so young. Sometimes things work out, and sometimes they don’t. That’s life.
NOTES
[1]From THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING,
So it was the first day Tereza met Tomas. Weaving its way through the drunks in the hotel restaurant, her body sagged under the weight of the beers on the tray, and her soul lay somewhere at the level of the stomach or pancreas. Then Tomas called to her. That call meant a great deal, because it came from someone who knew neither her mother nor the drunks with their daily stereotypically scabrous remarks. His outsider status raised him above the rest.
Something else raised him above the others as well: he had an open book on his table. No one had ever opened a book in that restaurant before. In Tereza's eyes, books were the emblems of a secret brotherhood. For she had but a single weapon against the world of crudity surrounding her: the books she took out of the municipal library, and above all, the novels. She had read any number of them, from Fielding to Thomas Mann. They not only offered the possibility of an imaginary escape from a life she found unsatisfying; they also had a meaning for her as physical objects: she loved to walk down the street with a book under her arm. It had the same significance for her as an elegant cane for the dandy a century ago. It differentiated her from others.
You may object that THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING is an old novel, and that girls like this don't exist any more. it is an old novel but girls like this still exist. Most girls are slavishly and stupidly addicted to their smartphones, staring into them like some barely alive person zonked on opioids while gazing at a slot machine, but not all of them are, and, if you find one who isn't, what are you offering her? Are you any different from her male equivalent, the guy who has played all the video games but who can't hold a conversation? Whose only strongly held beliefs concern whether you should have a Playstation or XBox or both?
Are you ready for opportunity when it arrives? You probably aren't. The girl who reads is probably not using dating apps, and she's probably minimally on Instagram. She's bored by most guys. So when a guy who combines masculine presence and an interest in reading shows up, she's primed to be into him, because he's rare.