Sociologist Mark Regnerus: ‘Cheap sex’ is making men give up on marriage

Cheap for some, stratospheric for others

"Cheap sex is making men give up on marriage" is the article, and it should not surprise most guys reading here who have followed the community over the last couple years. His book is Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy.

In today's dating market men can specialize in being the guy girls want to f**k or the guy they think they should want to marry. Or, more realistically, neither, but let's ignore the guys who can't specialize in either for now. It is of course possible to do both but trade offs exist in the real world, and guys are better off specializing in being the f**k boy.

While women bemoan the lack "eligible" men, they mean that they want a guy who can f**k all the girls he wants but for some reason her magical pussy makes him monogamous to her and makes him want to transfer lots of financial and other resources to her, with basically nothing in return. Top guys are waking up to how terrible a deal this is, at least when the top guy is young. If one woman walks, she'll be replaced by another. Guys who know they can get laid live a very different life from guys who can't.

Stated like that, the situation obviously makes no sense.

The only way to judge who and what women actually want is to look at who they fuck. Smart guys hit the gym, up their style, and learn game. Dumb guys bemoan their "fate."

My last bunch of relationships ended after three to twenty-four months when the woman wanted a timeline for cohabitation or eventually marriage, and I refused. Very few women will be long-term fuck buddies or even girlfriends without a timeline for cohabitation. That can yield a Groundhog-day quality to relationships, but in my experience that is much better than the situation some find.

In the article, the author doesn't even attempt to ask himself what legal structures might make men wary of marriage:

This ratio, he says, keeps ultimate relationship power in the hands of men. “To plenty of women, it appears that men have a fear of commitment. But men, on average, are not afraid of commitment,” Regnerus writes.

“The story is that men are in the driver’s seat in the marriage market and are optimally positioned to navigate it in a way that privileges their (sexual) interests and preferences. It need not even be conscious behavior on their part.”

Or maybe men have learned from their fathers and uncles and friends that any time a woman wants to, she can divorce him and take half his assets. If they have kids she can use the violence of the state to compel him to disgorge money to her for 18 – 24 years. So why would any man sign up for that shit? Answer: he won't.

Guys don't want to give up prime women.