Cold approach: the sex and dating superpower for men

A super power that most guys let lie fallow, out of cowardice

Alexander the Date Psych guy writes about Risk Aversion and Dating, which is another way of saying what I did in 2022, and in other places, A lot of guys are p**sies, but that means opportunity for the few who aren’t. Cold approach pickup is a superpower available to most men that a large fraction of men aren’t even bothering to use. Imagine saying to a guy, “Okay, you’re starving, but if you walk over to that tree and start picking the nuts off it, you can eat.” And he’s like, “No.” That’s what’s happening here.

In a recent survey, 53% of single men said that the fear of being called “creepy” reduced their likelihood of interacting with women. Consistent with this, a recent Pew survey of singles found half of single men between age 18-30 were voluntarily single. An even higher percentage of single women were voluntarily single. The youth may be dropping out. It might be driven, in part, by fear.

I’ve been called creepy many times and that’s also why I’ve f**ked so many more girls than you. Being called “creepy” isn’t good but it can be a sign of doing good things.

Alexander says,

Approaching someone to date may seem like the riskiest thing that you can do. Indeed, for some, discourse around asking a woman for a date has become practically hysterical. Yet, you also won’t meet anyone if you don’t approach.

I don’t see how people can call flirting risky compared to fighting in wars or lots of other things, but I guess maybe we are a nation of pussies.

The pussy is out there and most guys choose not to go for it. That implies big opportunities for the (few, I guess) who learn to make things work.

I met the woman I’m with now in real life. Most of the best women I’ve been with, I’ve met in real life. The single guys I know never approach in real life. They never build that muscle, that capability. The guys I know who are underperforming in their relationships never approach in real life. They have rejected the gift. We have evolved to interact with other people in real life, not to stare at screens for 13+ hours daily. The screen should at most be an auxiliary for real life.

I’m not saying it’s impossible to make online dating or Instagram work but in real life you are often an n=1 and not an n=1000. A lot of younger woman have turned into social r^tards due to excessive time on smartphones, so maybe you’ll have to lead them and endure more of their own inability to socialize than guys of yore would have, but that’s how things go. Life isn’t easy and then you die. Do you want to die without trying to achieve peak experiences?  You’re going to die, I’m going to die: what are you going to do now?

There are ways to succeed. I talk about them, many others talk about them. You have to want to succeed. If you stop reading this and go back to video games, you don’t want to succeed. I’d be depressed too if my life were video games, Internet, TV, and takeout.

Go for it and take your shot. Often you’ll lose but the losses are immaterial. Go read Nassim Taleb on asymmetric loses / gains. Guys who practise cold approach overwhelmingly find that the results are better than online dating. Thinner, hotter women don’t need online dating or use it for a short time to match with guys at least +1 and often +2 sexual market value (SMV) relative to them.