Mar 10, 2023·edited Mar 10, 2023Liked by the red quest
I feel like this is one article I can talk about from a position of experience rather than as a learner.
Haven’t been to many different dancing scenes, and each one has its own quirks (which comes from the close-knit-ness of the people who stick around for more than a few months), but there does seem to be a lot fewer hot gals in a group (or even at a large intergroup dance event) than, say, a bar on Saturday night.
It’s certainly not efficient compared to other options if you have the social skills. But if going to a bar or party makes you feel more “in your head” and less socially free, getting into the dance scene helps—more than one might realize.
I hadn’t considered using volunteering to build up social skills, but it makes a lot of sense; you’re working together with other people towards a common goal, so it makes it easier to open conversations and make friends. I haven’t tried much of the volunteering scene yet, but it sounds like a great idea for once I’ve gotten the “travel bug” sufficiently out of my system, building up social skills to make it easier in the rowdier bar/club scenes.
It may be worth noting that there are a lot more socially uncalibrated people in these groups than more social settings. Don’t take them as examples for socializing, but do be humble and accept their feedback in their specialties (this is one area I need to improve). Resist the pull to sacrifice socializing and focus solely on the group’s purpose—you’re there to help the group AND build yourself.
I feel like this is one article I can talk about from a position of experience rather than as a learner.
Haven’t been to many different dancing scenes, and each one has its own quirks (which comes from the close-knit-ness of the people who stick around for more than a few months), but there does seem to be a lot fewer hot gals in a group (or even at a large intergroup dance event) than, say, a bar on Saturday night.
It’s certainly not efficient compared to other options if you have the social skills. But if going to a bar or party makes you feel more “in your head” and less socially free, getting into the dance scene helps—more than one might realize.
I hadn’t considered using volunteering to build up social skills, but it makes a lot of sense; you’re working together with other people towards a common goal, so it makes it easier to open conversations and make friends. I haven’t tried much of the volunteering scene yet, but it sounds like a great idea for once I’ve gotten the “travel bug” sufficiently out of my system, building up social skills to make it easier in the rowdier bar/club scenes.
It may be worth noting that there are a lot more socially uncalibrated people in these groups than more social settings. Don’t take them as examples for socializing, but do be humble and accept their feedback in their specialties (this is one area I need to improve). Resist the pull to sacrifice socializing and focus solely on the group’s purpose—you’re there to help the group AND build yourself.
Lots of paths to Valhalla.