Apr 28, 2023·edited Apr 29, 2023Liked by the red quest
Fads come and go; swapping dubious strategies for wooing women was a fad. Although there was definitely something useful to the various bits of advice people gave, almost all of what was useful was either already known, such as working out and increasing status, or a mere placebo: If you observe this ritual, it will improve your confidence, and women like confidence, therefore the ritual does indeed work.
But what was the actual use of any of it? You write authoritatively about the art of promiscuity, and I really am willing to believe that you're an absolute Casanova with an n-count through the roof, but did that really do anything? What is the difference between chasing sterile women and mastering the art of recreational drug use? Most critically, what is your number of offspring? If it's even as high as 3, OK, you seriously win. Otherwise, from an outside perspective, all of this looks like no more than a way to while away the time.
1) Anecdotally, in my liberal city people are aware of the PUA phenomenon, but it has a bad reputation. Based on a few times I have heard people in their 20's mention it, the implication is that PUAs are some combination of losers and predatory.
2) Teaching true, field-tested pickup techniques is hard. Teaching general self-improvement, i.e. hectoring guys to work out, make money, and wear better clothes, is much easier. From what I have heard, some of what used to be prominent pickup coaching organizations have transitioned to the latter. It's like the difference between a personal trainer who can teach you to do 3 sets of 10 on a nautilus machine, and a coach who can teach you to power clean, squat, and deadlift--and who can demonstrate a 500lb+ deadlift himself.
3) Online dating is huge, obviously. I don't even know how much of a real bar scene, in the sense of people actually meeting romantically, even exists anymore.
4) Me Too really put a scare into everyone.
Personally I wouldn't be surprised if there was something in the water that was causing both young men's relative lack of interest in pursuing women, and some of the strange gender stuff we see nowadays. Testosterone levels have been falling for decades, after all. It's hard for me to believe that there were always this many men who wanted to wear dresses and take hormones to grow boobs.
Fads come and go; swapping dubious strategies for wooing women was a fad. Although there was definitely something useful to the various bits of advice people gave, almost all of what was useful was either already known, such as working out and increasing status, or a mere placebo: If you observe this ritual, it will improve your confidence, and women like confidence, therefore the ritual does indeed work.
But what was the actual use of any of it? You write authoritatively about the art of promiscuity, and I really am willing to believe that you're an absolute Casanova with an n-count through the roof, but did that really do anything? What is the difference between chasing sterile women and mastering the art of recreational drug use? Most critically, what is your number of offspring? If it's even as high as 3, OK, you seriously win. Otherwise, from an outside perspective, all of this looks like no more than a way to while away the time.
It was great! And way more fun than what most guys do...
I will grant you that!
The other day I was talking to an RQ reader about this... most guys seem to watch TV and play video games all the time... now THAT seems terrible...
Over time, we get to existential questions about "what is the use of anything?"... the pleasures of women outweigh any others, at least in the short term... https://theredquest.substack.com/p/the-time-horizon-question
Few guys manage to get good w/ women, it seems.
A couple of observations:
1) Anecdotally, in my liberal city people are aware of the PUA phenomenon, but it has a bad reputation. Based on a few times I have heard people in their 20's mention it, the implication is that PUAs are some combination of losers and predatory.
2) Teaching true, field-tested pickup techniques is hard. Teaching general self-improvement, i.e. hectoring guys to work out, make money, and wear better clothes, is much easier. From what I have heard, some of what used to be prominent pickup coaching organizations have transitioned to the latter. It's like the difference between a personal trainer who can teach you to do 3 sets of 10 on a nautilus machine, and a coach who can teach you to power clean, squat, and deadlift--and who can demonstrate a 500lb+ deadlift himself.
3) Online dating is huge, obviously. I don't even know how much of a real bar scene, in the sense of people actually meeting romantically, even exists anymore.
4) Me Too really put a scare into everyone.
Personally I wouldn't be surprised if there was something in the water that was causing both young men's relative lack of interest in pursuing women, and some of the strange gender stuff we see nowadays. Testosterone levels have been falling for decades, after all. It's hard for me to believe that there were always this many men who wanted to wear dresses and take hormones to grow boobs.