Feb 26·edited Feb 26Liked by the red quest, Stephen Marutin
Great summary. Learning to do hard things is one of the critical life skills, as also well put by Nat Eliason in this brilliant short piece about how the true purpose of learning calculus in high school is to learn doing hard things: https://blog.nateliason.com/p/proof-you-can-do-hard-things
In my childhood, my parents initially severely neglected my social development and I spent my whole adolescence trying to catch up. Eventually I was able to find some friends, but I was still terrible with women. What my parents did right though was that they encouraged me to try hard things. When I learned about pickup, it was just another new exciting hard thing to learn after playing musical instruments, doing an eccentric extreme sport, programming and calculus in high school (some women understand that these are the proofs of the critical 'doing hard things' skill they expect from a successful long term partner and therefore consider them attractive), so I jumped right in. And it changed my life.
There is yet another factor driving the inaction which is slightly different from laziness. It's a variation of "Most guys don't care much about getting laid" and "Everyone is special" worldview. Back in the day, whenever I expressed my desire to get better with women (didn't yet know how) my friends would effectively discourage me by saying stuff like "You are putting too much pressure on your self, don't rush things, chill out, eventually you will meet someone". Many of them either effortlessly entered relationships with girls from their closest social circle or were genuinely expecting to do so later in their lives. When "Most guys don't care much about getting laid", the minority that does faces a conundrum of choosing whether to pursue their desires or conform to the social norm.
I see a parallel here to how societies tend to develop at large.
After having lived in a few different countries and cultures around the world, I think I have a fairly good idea why some places are rich and others are poor.
In short, from nature's side it is hard to live in places like the north of Europe, because it's cold and unforgiving. Just keeping a dwelling warm and comfortable used to be a full time project... not to mention growing food.
Due to the constant hardship, people in cold countries have historically been working hard, planning well, inventing like crazy, pushing through and pressing forward, until they could overcome the obstacles of nature.
By contrast, life in tropical areas was always easier. You don't need to worry about heating. There is no real need for clothing, and food can be picked from nature all year round. There is not even a great need for living in a house - but if you have a family that needs one, you can put up a suitable bamboo shack in a day or so.
Of course it's not all straight forward all the time, but... from nature's side, the tropics are just not so challenging.
The result? People take it easy, do not feel much need to work, and are happy with little. The place remains poor overall.
The only problem is, of course, sooner or later the people who have worked and invented their way out of hardship may come to attack and enslave the people who have it easy.
Hmm, coming to think about it, I guess this already happened. More than once.
So it's not just that avoiding challenges and living an easy life means you are missing out on many opportunities...
The bigger problem may well be, there are hidden risks. On an individual level, like on a societal scale - if you are not used to challenges, if you don't have skills and resources, you may one day suddenly find yourself trapped.
Great summary. Learning to do hard things is one of the critical life skills, as also well put by Nat Eliason in this brilliant short piece about how the true purpose of learning calculus in high school is to learn doing hard things: https://blog.nateliason.com/p/proof-you-can-do-hard-things
In my childhood, my parents initially severely neglected my social development and I spent my whole adolescence trying to catch up. Eventually I was able to find some friends, but I was still terrible with women. What my parents did right though was that they encouraged me to try hard things. When I learned about pickup, it was just another new exciting hard thing to learn after playing musical instruments, doing an eccentric extreme sport, programming and calculus in high school (some women understand that these are the proofs of the critical 'doing hard things' skill they expect from a successful long term partner and therefore consider them attractive), so I jumped right in. And it changed my life.
There is yet another factor driving the inaction which is slightly different from laziness. It's a variation of "Most guys don't care much about getting laid" and "Everyone is special" worldview. Back in the day, whenever I expressed my desire to get better with women (didn't yet know how) my friends would effectively discourage me by saying stuff like "You are putting too much pressure on your self, don't rush things, chill out, eventually you will meet someone". Many of them either effortlessly entered relationships with girls from their closest social circle or were genuinely expecting to do so later in their lives. When "Most guys don't care much about getting laid", the minority that does faces a conundrum of choosing whether to pursue their desires or conform to the social norm.
Outstanding
RQ this is great material. Thanks!
We are influenced by mass media (advertising etc.) to prioritize comfort and intstant pleasure,
along with keeping a mentality of self-indulgence, maybe self-pity, complacency, etc.
This mentality keeps us buying various products, over & over, keeping corporations profitable.
RQ have you read The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson? You might find it worth a quick look.
Thanks for another great article..!
I see a parallel here to how societies tend to develop at large.
After having lived in a few different countries and cultures around the world, I think I have a fairly good idea why some places are rich and others are poor.
In short, from nature's side it is hard to live in places like the north of Europe, because it's cold and unforgiving. Just keeping a dwelling warm and comfortable used to be a full time project... not to mention growing food.
Due to the constant hardship, people in cold countries have historically been working hard, planning well, inventing like crazy, pushing through and pressing forward, until they could overcome the obstacles of nature.
By contrast, life in tropical areas was always easier. You don't need to worry about heating. There is no real need for clothing, and food can be picked from nature all year round. There is not even a great need for living in a house - but if you have a family that needs one, you can put up a suitable bamboo shack in a day or so.
Of course it's not all straight forward all the time, but... from nature's side, the tropics are just not so challenging.
The result? People take it easy, do not feel much need to work, and are happy with little. The place remains poor overall.
The only problem is, of course, sooner or later the people who have worked and invented their way out of hardship may come to attack and enslave the people who have it easy.
Hmm, coming to think about it, I guess this already happened. More than once.
So it's not just that avoiding challenges and living an easy life means you are missing out on many opportunities...
The bigger problem may well be, there are hidden risks. On an individual level, like on a societal scale - if you are not used to challenges, if you don't have skills and resources, you may one day suddenly find yourself trapped.