Guys building a big non-monogamy ecosystem

It's not about the moment: it's about the system

A player I know has discovered a coven of group sex and open relationship people near him. Some of the players are wealthy and have oriented their lives around this activity, buying yachts and getting hotel rooms and pimping out their living spaces to make it all happen (the yacht thing isn't necessary, but I guess it's a nice touch if you have the cash... I don't, and I don't really move in those circles, though I know they exist... so don't get caught up in that side alley, whining about income and about how “chicks only like rich guys”—they don’t). The player almost can't believe this thing exists, but I can believe it because I have seen versions. Non-monogamy and sex clubs become an ecosystem. It's possible to rack up incredible numbers through this, if it is a guy's goal to do so.

Let me try to explain the dynamics, from my interactions and observations... some guys at the top, doing penthouses and boats, want to leverage these into sex, and want to live while they still can. These guys (and some women)....

* Go to clubs/events most weekends, or on vacations. There's an international circuit of people doing this.

* Network with the people they meet. It's not that much different than business networking except it's more emotional and obviously instead of business relationships you are probing, establishing, and maintaining sex relationships. The social aspect of this is important and easy to do poorly. Outsiders think you just show up, bang/mate, then separate, like lizards or something. Not really, not if you're doing it well, and outside of pornography sex has emotional or psychological components (most of the time). If there's no emotional component for you, consider getting tested for psychopathy.

* For guys who want younger/hotter chicks, the trick is finding them. They do show up... but they are (obviously) in demand. Guys can maintain decent sexual value into their 40s and even early 50s, if they want. For most women, SMV begins to drop seriously at 30, and almost all by 35. Supply-demand is real. Most guys lack the game to get hot chicks.

* When you have more girls than you can handle (it happens) and are friends with more couples than you can handle, you begin doing parties as the logical next step for maintaining those connections and putting quality people together. Many activities have "levels," with the advanced levels being occluded from novices and even intermediates. For parties, a guy might know six, eight, ten, twelve interested people, sometimes more, invite them over... and suddenly he's  the host and he has the status that comes with being the organizer. Leaders have status... it's polite to thank the host, and the hosts of sex parties can get thanked in interesting ways. The host need above-average emotional intelligence, which is lacked by most many guys.

* If you have the money and space to host great parties people will like you better. Chicks are super sensitive to environment and emotional cues, while most guys will happily f**k hot chicks in any available conditions: Dirty sheets, plates in the sink, whatever, guys will happily f**k a hot chick who will bend over there. Chicks are much more attuned to lighting, cleanliness, mood, etc. So if you can just buy the booze and weed, set up the mirrors / beds, get superior lighting (Philips Hue, don't cheap out here if you can avoid it), etc., then people will be more likely to want to attend your things. So hosting can be the next step, for guys who are established in the community and have a female partner who is aligned with the guy.

* Really rich guys will buy boats, penthouse apts, penthouse hotel rooms, etc. It's not necessary (you don't need to be wealthy to do this), but these guys are out there. Usually they have worse game and need other guys to seduce the chicks.

You don't need to be wealthy, but renting space, arranging things, etc., can cost money. So I don't want to imply that it's easy for poor guys to do this. Overall, most guys aren't determined to maximize the amount of sex they have, and you can tell as much from their behavior. Most people can't connect what they say with what they do... the successes in this world almost always can (or have lucky genetics).

The chicks who have these fantasies and desire these things will like guys who can activate their fantasies and execute them in a safe and controlled environment. Most chicks also need aftercare, etc. They want to bond, not just be sex toys who are going to be discarded after the event. Many guys wrongly neglect aftercare, cuddling, etc. Guys need to do a LOT of things right, here, if they are to get in and stay in. Listen to chicks and you will learn that many guys do basic things wrong. Aftercare is one example I'm thinking about right now. Read through Red Quest and you will come across many others.

Some other things about this big ecosystem...

* Chicks vary in their propensity to engage.... some are super scared, some are pretty eager. Find the eager ones and reassure the scared ones. Obviously a lot of chicks have group sex fantasies, are curious about how other people f**k, etc., but will not explore those without guys to guide them. Be that guy and find other guys who are non-judgmental and encouraging. Some girls can be converted over time.

* If you fully enter and connect to this world you might be astonished by the fact that it is larger than you know, though most people are smart enough not to advertise they're into it, since the social judgment is too intense. Smart chicks know that their sexual reputation is linked to their ability to marry high-income men, so they don't want to be known, in most cases, as a girl who does these things, because that will impact their ability to marry and have children, when they want those things. You'll also find business connections in the places you might not expect to find them. Things that start about business often end up being about sex... and things that start about sex often end up being about other things, like business. People are made to network with others who share common interests. God can be a common interest in churches... sex can be a common interest... and people who form sex communities often trust each other and therefore want to do business together too.

* The people in this world are pretty discriminating, especially when it comes to guys. Many more guys want to get in it than chicks, but most guys are not competent enough. Even guys who think they want to get in, typically can't handle it. Getting into this world requires people in both sexes who can handle it. Lots of people (guys included) form quick emotional attachments to their sex partners and then want to monopolize those partners... even if they fantasize about this world, it doesn't work. People who are doing events will monitor newcomers for negative and positive traits and guys (or chicks) who can't handle it will not be invited into the higher tiers of things. Sufficiently badly behaved people will be booted, although this is rare. Sex clubs are much smaller world than conventional bars, and word about badly behaved people will get around fast, leading to doors that swing shut.

In life you are always being judged and always proving yourself.

Real question is...... eventually....... how do you want to live your life?

Most people who learn about this world discover they do not want to spend their lives immersed in it. Just like most guys seem to have about four to five good years in the game... but the people who do keep it up can have experiences few others do.

This no doubt sounds like a lot of work, but... a lot of work compared to what? I know people, even employed people, who spend 20+ hours per week on video games and Instagram, etc. Is this a worse hobby?

Think about the things people you know do when they're not working... is this better? Worse? Would you rather be f**king or leveling up your level 29 wizard? Would you rather be getting beers with "friends" from the office or f**king a hot chick?

These things are not very compatible with very young child family life, and a lot of people with kids are too tired to pursue them. As the kids get older it becomes more possible to pursue them but most people in western countries let themselves go, get fat, and get outcomes consistent with their weight, fatness, lifestyle, and sugar intake.

A lot of guys with high numbers also don't have consistently high quality, so there's that.

Some guys spend a lot of time building up their non-monogamy ecosystem and once the machine starts, it purrs along. I'm trying to help guys get started and to understand the underlying principles at work. I think the book does that well, but most guys reject the knowledge and the power.

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