Field Report: on push-pull and sh*t tests

In honor of our fallen brother RQ, and due to a change in circumstances, the show must go on.

It’s been a minute boys…

RQ is no longer here, and I miss him every day. He was the most singularly powerful, masculine influence and guidance in my life (and my dad is a totally good guy!), and no doubt this blog has influenced and helped millions of men become better, both with women and themselves.

I come to you on the heels of a relationship’s end—a relationship that didn’t work because I forgot the lessons RedQuest and the seduction community taught me. Lessons that I’ve taught others. But that is OK. We are human after all, and in every tragedy lies the seeds of a new triumph, a new journey, and perhaps it is good that I have failed so I can learn new lessons, and continue teaching, as RQ would no doubt ask of me.

Enough of the pre-text. Let’s get to the post…

The burden of performance and a reframe of push-pull

Attraction is at its base, push and pull—the same concept PUAs have been talking about since at least the early 2000s, and players of all ages knew instinctively long before that. However, the idea of consciously pushing or pulling, seems “gamey.” The most common complaint I’ve heard from men trying to learn game in the years I’ve been involved in the community, and especially when I was coaching, is: why can’t I just be myself?

But what they really mean is: why do I have to perform?

There are two answers to this question:

1. Performance is the primary burden of male sexual value.¹ Like, do you want chicks to line up to bounce on your dick while you play video games? That’s never going to happen, no matter how jacked or “alpha” you are. Men need to provide value to women through performance. If you can’t do that, you don’t deserve to be with them.

2. How you perform is up to you.

You can be the life of the party, telling jokes, befriending everyone, actively engaging the women you are interested in. But you can also be a relative wallflower, mostly silent or asking questions, listening to what she has to say rather than being the active speaker.

There’s a great scene in the 40 year Old Virgin, when Cal (Seth Rogan) tells Andy (Steve Carrell) that all you have to do is keep turning the questions back on the chick. Watch the scene. I’ll wait….

Now, let’s be honest, if you did exactly what he did, a lot of chicks wouldn’t respond the way she does—but some will!² The point however, is that some version of what he does in that scene will be extremely effective. If you’re a quieter, more introverted dude, that’s the sort of Game you should be playing: get her to talk about herself. Ask her questions about what she likes to do, where she’s gone on vacation, what books, movies, or TV series she’s into. The key is that instead of agreeing with everything she says and coming off as a love-struck puppy dog, be honest when you disagree, and interject the occasional tease or joke.³

For example, say you ask her where she’s gone on vacation—or better yet, where she grew up. She says, “I grew up in a small town in Iowa.” Now employ the old-school Agree and Amplify tactic and/or put her in a box she has to agree with or escape.

AA: “Yeah, I could see that—you’ve got those country bumpkin vibes: I could see you sitting on a stool, milking cows, mucking out the horse stalls, scattering feed for the little chickens following you around.”

Box: “Really? You seem more like a Sex and the City type girl, sipping champagne at brunch and traipsing through art museums, pretending like you know what the paintings mean.”⁴

*And Smile* Give here that true player’s smirk whatever you say.

Now it’s back on her, and either way you win. If she agrees with your assertion, that’s an act of compliance, and it’s also going to make her feel as if you understand her. Keep it going. Ask her to tell you more about her little town in Iowa. Did she go skinning dipping with farm boys on summer nights?

If she disagrees, now there’s tension between you—lean in and make it sexual (not literally, conversationally)—and remember, she still has to get out of that box. If she disagrees, she has to prove she’s not what you say she is, and your job is to not be easily convinced. When the time feels right, put her in another box: wow, you’re a little spitfire just full of piss and vinegar aren’t you?

*And Smile*

Field Report: Social Game and Shit Tests

Last night I took some potential clients out to happy hour, and a few of the chicks were pretty hot—the firm partner was a beautiful blonde who had massive fake tits that were absolutely glorious and she made she they were out there for all to see, God bless her.

I’m extroverted, so I played a more life of the party role, but I also asked questions and tried to get all of the women talking. One key in a social setting: engage everyone, even the women you are not interested in, and also any men in the group. Women instinctually want attention (your honor, may I present exhibits A: IG, and B: Tik-Tok). They want as much as they can get, but you can’t give it to them. By talking to everyone, you naturally deny them some measure of your attention, while increasing your social value as a man of the people.

I’m pleased to report your boy still has some game left. I had conversations with all four of the attractive women there—as well as the other chicks and dudes who showe up—did oyster shooters with the hot blonde and a one of the wives, and edged into flirtation with a coy brunette I teased for being a little kid because she doesn’t like fish.

Two obvious impediments:

1. I’m fat, no way around it, although I’m happy to report I’ve lost 20lbs in the past couple weeks (only possible when you’re a fat fuck like I am).

2. One ought not fuck the people he’s trying to sell shit too—or at least, not until it’s sold.

They did shit test me some, as all women will do, if they’re interested.⁵ One of them told a joke at my expense, which I honestly didn’t hear very well, but the way they reacted it was as if I’d be mad—of course, however, I just laughed along with them, saying, “oh man you roasted me!”

Then they dared me to eat the rest of the oysters (five left at the time), so I just did it—low cal, high in zinc and magnesium, what’s not to love? Now, you might think that’s not a shit test, but I’d argue it was and here’s why: chicks want to see if you have balls. If I had not wanted to I could disqualify myself, saying something like, “oh, I couldn’t dare—I’ve got to watch my girlish figure!”⁶

Think about it this way: you’re in college, standing on a bridge in the hot summer sun, high above a clear, cold river. You’ve got your boys and a bunch of sorority girls in bikinis there, and a few of you get up to the edge when one of the girls says: “dare one of you pussies to jump.” What do you do? It’s a long way down, and you’re not a big fan of heights…

But you fucking jump.⁷ Because the first dude who does is getting his dick sucked later on in the woods.

A super common shit test you’ll experience from women is just this: are you a man, or a mouse? Cause she ain’t fucking a mouse. This might actually be the most common shit test of all. The other one that’s extremely common, since we’re on the topic, is some form of: are you going to lose your cool—do you have a temper? Because just as women don’t want to be with a man who’s a pussy, they also don’t want to be with a man who will beat them.⁸

I think I’ll leave it there for now. Super fun to get back out there—my first real adventure in game since I got locked down 3 years ago. Need to create a handle on X, but for now, leave any thoughts or questions you have in the comments.

Remember fellas, there has NEVER been a better time to be a player.

1. Women also have to perform—it’s just mostly passive. Chicks spend 1000s more hours than you or I doing their hair and makeup, choosing sexy outfits, staying fit (hopefully), etc. Red Pill discourse too often paints women as having it easy, and the simple fact is they don’t. It’s easier for them to have sex, yes, but for them the challenge of securing long-term commitment for the sort of man they desire is extremely difficult, even if their standards or often too high.

2. One thing that scene gets wrong however, is CLOSE. Like a good salesman, you are ALWAYS closing. I’ve gotten numbers from chicks I spent less than a minute talking to, who ended up coming out, down for pound town on the first date. Even if she says, “I have to go” your response is: “no worries, let me get your number real quick and I’ll text you.” Remember, the worst she can say is no, which is the exact same result if you don’t close. The only time you should not close is if it’s a chick in a close social circle, and you know you’re going to see her again shortly OR you can DM her through IG or something.

3. NO POLITICS when it comes to disagreeing. And quite honestly, you shouldn’t care that much—if you’re a hard core partisan, you’re focusing on something that is actively harming your life. Stop it. Get back to work on becoming a better man.

4. Notice, in both of these responses the player uses vivid language. This sub communicates that you are intelligent and educated, which is a huge turn on for chicks.

5. Remember, shit tests are GOOD. If a woman is shit testing you, that means she’s at least mildly interested. If she doesn’t shit test you, she’s either not interested OR she’s already decided to fuck you. But until she’s decided she’s going to fuck you, if she’s interested, you can bet your ass she’ll test you.

6. I did convince one of the women who had never tried one to try one with me, so I got at least a little help.

7. Unless you think you will die. Then don’t.

8. No, they don’t. The ones who end up in abusive relationships DO NOT WANT to be beaten—they just come from a fucked up past and it’s all they know. And trust me, you DO NOT want to be with a woman who genuinely wants you to abuse her, no matter how hot she is.