Bike Girl: Good and Bad
She's kind of basic
(2017)
Good: (about Bike Girl)
1. Sex. Does everything I want. Likes being submissive. Likes the sex tapes. Sex is extremely good. She follows well and trusts me to lead. When I hear guys complaining that a girl is “bad” at sex, I usually think they (the guys) lack dominance / leadership. When I was younger, I thought I had problems like that… then I realized the problem was me.
2. Fitness. Not much into lifting but likes yoga. A solid seven who is considerably younger than me and deeply into me: probably not that uncommon for the top game guys, but not that common for guys not putting in much effort, I think. Her food habits aren't great but I bring them up. over time her poor nutrition is going to make her body go to hell.
3. Likes to read, or reads when I read. A lot of girls demand constant stimulation or spend their lives staring into their phones; when I read, she reads.
4. Seems to like me. There are a lot of girls who will have a lot of sex, but they don't seem to really like me that much (or the guy they're dating, if they're dating someone else and I'm observing). Don't really get why this dynamic happens but it's common enough to note it.
5. Strong feminine vibes. Again, hard to define what this means but I know it when I see it.
6. We had our first four-way (switching with another couple) and it went well. When I have more than two minutes I'll write about that. It was pretty standard from my perspective and pretty standard is very good.
Bad:
1. Messiness. Extremely messy apartment, although she's tried to make an effort to change because she can figure out my reaction to it. This will prevent any attempt at co-habitation.
2. Kind of basic. Hard to describe exactly what this means too, but she's not that smart and not that motivated. I think she's a liter of water that takes the shape of whatever man she pours herself into. But it sounds like she's not had a lot of long-term relationships, so maybe she just goes from guy to guy. Because I don't believe most of what women say (everyone has a narrative) I can't judge her relationship past well. She speaks well of exes, which is a good sign in my view. When I'm not around I think she's on her phone all the time, but she can turn it off when I'm around. For now.
3. Related to #2, I think she wants a way out of the office grind and sees me as a potential way out. I downplay income stuff deliberately but if you're around someone long enough, they put it together (just as I put it together with her). Plus one of my go-to lines is, "I'm used to telling people what to do." Which is somewhat true... but also works well.
4. A little clingy. Not real bad, and this could be a "good" sign because she really likes me, and relationships are always better when the woman is more into the man than vice-versa. Women need someone to look up to.
5. Doesn't have many actual skills. This is related to #3. So few girls know how to cook or clean or just manage life. It's like, "What do I need you for?" Sex is cheap and girls seem not to have figured this out. If she only brings sex to a relationship then the relationship is probably not going to last, because all the other things in life still need doing. I have talked to Bike Girl about this a little bit, but she thinks that love conquers all. No, honey, it doesn't. Infatuation makes people think that in the thrill of a new relationship, but the real world works differently.
The “love conquers all” thing makes her seem a little immature. Life is not a pop song.
Neutral:
1. As usual, after a couple months the girl I thought was OMG so hot is still pretty but no longer captivating. I wish it weren't true but it is.
2. She is open to the idea of an MFF threesome.
3. She has close friends and confidants, whereas a lot of girls are totally lonely or have "friends" who aren't friends.
4. She actually wants more sex than me on average, and having so much with her drains me enough to prevent me from pursing other leads. Sounds like a plus, but whenever a guy stops approaching the well dries up. My well stays somewhat full due to kink and non-monogamy, but the highest-caliber girls don't usually come from there.
I don't know how other guys deal with career, primary partner, family, and gym. I'm efficient but it feels like something's gotta give among those four.
As always I don't know how to evaluate many things.
Read my most recent post. I doesn't seem related, but you'll get it.
Having your shit together takes work and managing it all takes time and effort. It is difficult to balance and things will give (especially if you have kids).
Most of us aren't David Goggins, we work in cycles. It happens.
Offtopic, but related to nonmonogamy: I was doing "solo poly" before with my ex-main partner, many years ago. That partner, the girl, was actually more courageous than I am regarding non-mono in context of "more than two" in a bedroom, as she is more able to compartmentalize sex and relationship, probably more able than an average man. My own attitude is a mixture of being majorly demisexual and thus treating sex intimately, and recently some insecurity as my life has been I'd say worse off in game contexts than it used to be.
My current GF and I are effectively monogamous, but I did have a couple single-time events solo and participated in a private party couple times. I say effectively, coz we hold no promises - she knows me from the period with my prev partner , which is why she is more committed to me sexually than I am to her. But I wasn't exercising that freedom lately due to general insecurity.
We've been invited by another couple (members of family with whom I attended to a party couple times) for a 2-on-2 meeting, but honestly the most I'd be comfortable doing with them would be to have sex with our own partners in front of each other. Is that worth going through? My prev partner due to her courage was a lot more encouraging for those kind of more-than-two encounters, and she supported my solo interests, but my current partner is more of an insecure , feely-touchy bubbly person like I am myself. I experience this as a much different situation in that I knew my ex was attracted to me spiritually as well and sort of outside of whom we have sex with and she also knew how to work around my jealously (which she had otherworldly very little of herself) and not trigger me. My current girl is much more alike me in terms of "cons" that make nonmono harder. She's also open and curious but she could choose a mono life any day without hesitation, I could not - I know what happens when I come out of darker periods in my life.
The other couple is married, with kids, and very experienced in non-mono. I think i'm going to go through with it because my curiosity tends to overthrow any fears I have about hurting myself or my girl. I don't think they'd be disappointed if we only fucked in front of each other. I've never watched a girl I was more invested in getting fucked by another man. I was comfortable and happy (and would be again if it were an option) being committed/etc mono, and having side, less committed but still friendly, fun and suppportive relationship(s) outside, not mixing them. Right now I think my depression is still making me too vulnerable for other kind of exploration, which is shown in how both of us are nervous about the meet up in a couple of weeks
Probably shouldn't be using this medium for advice request (I know and agree with your stance on public advice req), but still here I am