The hunt and the meal

A reply to this comment, and the reply grew so unruly that I post it independently.

>>I wrote it to show some contrast to the “notch hunt only” POV.

Maybe most guys who don't feel the need to notch hunt also don't end up writing player blogs. Because if they're not driven by novelty and achievement, they'll find an acceptable girl and stop, or stop for a while. Not much story there.

I'm in a weird space between being a notch hunter and a satisficer. I like (or liked) novelty but am not obsessed with whoever is next. But I also don't want and won't do the conventional relationship path. So I end up in between.

>>Super valid ^. And I LOVE the hunt, but I like this about you.

I'm glad you get to do what you love. More people should try to do what they love. I'm trying to understand myself, to some extent, by writing here. There is pretty much no one in the real world who I can say all this to. In real life, I don't know any hardcore players, in the Internet sense of cold approach and such... I know some via sex clubs, but they don't appear to pursue being a player in the way of daygame guys, for example. In college my friends thought I was a "player." By the standards of bashful college guys, I probably was: by the standards of guys on the game journey, not at all. Reading about game helps codify and elaborate on things I suspect and think but have rarely seen discussed... or discussed in any depth.

Modern society is also TERRIBLE at attempting to turn boys into men. Thus the endless individual and social pathologies that are readily observed. I love WARRIOR KING MAGICIAN LOVER for its discussion of those things. But I rarely find the right guy to give a copy.

With Bike Girl....... I told her that moving in together will destroy what we have, which is both true and also an excuse. I've been softening a little bit to the idea of cohabitating with a woman again, at some point, mostly because I don't think I want to live alone, or mostly alone, forever. But I'd have to find a very special, unusual woman. It's hard for me to think of the characteristics she'd need to have.

Bike Girl is too normal and too young, not just in years but in dispostion or maturity, to consider that. She isn't quite a "catch and release women who want families" girl, but I think releasing her is the right thing to do. She wants a guy she can live with and a guy who is more conventional than me. She wouldn't put it that way, but I can see enough of her to know.

She doesn't try hard enough to get what she wants, in either men or her work. She wants things to just come to her, and I'm like, "No... that's not how it happens. Usually." She is a passive girl, waiting for others to make things happen for her. I'm not going to make her baby happen. I'm not going to pay for her to live.

If I somehow let her move in with me, that would work for a year or two, till she gets bored. She'd be too comfortable. I wouldn't be able to help her become whoever she needs to become. We'd probably end up not liking each other much.

Instead, I (probably) get to be the latest jerk to break her heart. She has nothing to do with it, of course. She is an innocent white flower.

>>This makes me smile. I can see how that ^ would be hard to cut off. Good for you, man. You have a access to side of sex most men (myself included) cannot even imagine.

A functional, attractive bi chick who shows up and likes to hookup with both girls and other couples... that's rare. However much the drugs and some other aspects of her personality bug me, when I re-read what I wrote, I think, "Why formally break it off? We can see what happens."

But I'm also not very excited about her anymore... without some excitement, why bother? In short, I am back and forth, as these last few paragraphs show. Could be that I'm addicted to the rush that success brings.