Men don't take women on "dinner" dates because women don't want to go on them
Over time men learn what's effective
In "Is 'Netflix and Chill' Actually a Good Date?" a writer named Beejoli Shah laments how "As a woman rapidly approaching 30, one of my largest personal failings is the fact that I’ve yet to go on a first date that involves eating food on purpose." There's a reason: Women don't really like dinner dates, they find those dates awkward, and those dates don't put them in the mood for sex. Smart guys get burned by one or two dinner dates, in which they pay and a woman says LJBF, and then guys learn to stop inviting women on those dates. As you can infer I speak from experience, as I made the dinner mistake once or twice after college.
I’m only aware of one seduction artist who likes dinner dates and is successful in doing them. Any others, please leave comments.
Shah says,
when it comes to being asked to sit down with a man for a meal that didn’t come in a paper bag from a place we happened to wander by, things haven’t quite metastasized
Shah could say that the only way she's going on a date is if it involves dinner. But if she did, the guys she most wants to f*ck would next her. The guys she least wants to f*ck might take the bait. Either way will leave her unsatisfied.
My approach was straightforward: “Netflix and chill? I hear it’s all the cool teen rage these days,” which I hoped would offer me an out if I was immediately rejected. But judging by the reactions I received, no one else labored under the false delusions that I did. Men, for all their bravado of how easy it is to hookup these days, are overwhelmingly terrified by the idea of being propositioned simply for sex.
If I were offered "Netflix and chill" by someone attractive, I'd be excited. I'd want to meet them in public first, though.
Beejoli Shah claims that the men she meets aren't interested hookups, but typing her name into Google Image reveals the most likely culprit. She is in fact not living in the same world as the women most men would like to hook up with. In debugging, it is useful to start with the most obvious problems, then work one’s way into the more obscure and improbable problems. Beejoli Shah’s problems start with all the simple carbs she stuffs in her mouth. If she fixes that, she’ll be more likely to get the dates she wants.
No one should take the dating / romantic / hookup / game advice of a person seriously without at least seeing what they look like and knowing what their vibe is like. We all live in our own little bubbles and generalize from those bubbles.
Shah is having a very different experience than a pretty girl would, just like attractive guys have a different experience than ugly ones, which is why the initial advice newbies get always involves improving overall attractiveness and social skills. Karley Sciortino, the chick who writes slutever.com, is hot. Her experience dating is different because she's hot. Always remember that when you people's generalization on the Internet. If you don't know their real-life hotness, vibe, coolness, and social circle, you don't know shit about them. That includes me too.
“Date structure and arc: how to plan and execute dates” describes how effective men think about effective dating strategies. If you are a man who wishes to increase his dating effective, Stephen Maturin is available for coaching.
