Lessons from two years of dating aggressively in Dallas

A guest post by @CaudilloNuclear

I saw a beautiful thread by @CaudilloNuclear and asked him if I could turn it into a post... he said yes, and this is the lightly edited result. If you’re on Twitter, follow him. I’m a disagreeable guy and so I don’t agree with everything on this list but it is good.

After dating aggressively for two years in a major American city (Dallas), here are the objective lessons I learned (I'll keep adding as I remember):

1. There are good women, you just most likely will have to settle on looks/weight, debt, and ethnicity (if you're willing to deal with it).

2. All women are feminists at first. Even the ones that say they are not. Frame fixes this.

3. American women drink very aggressively. Rarely do they turn down shots, another glass of wine, etc. Do with this information what you will.

4. Logistics is most of the battle. Choosing a bar near where you live will solve a lot of problems, especially if it is a nice, fun area.

5. As you learn more about women and date them, your frustration towards them turns into pity. Seeing intelligent, beautiful women go through "career girl" lifecycle is depressing.

6. With girls that are 7+/10 you have one chance. That's all you get. Make it count.

7. Most women have been offered gifts/money in exchange for their time/sex. Sugar Dating is WAY more common than you think. Even the sweetest nerdy Asian concert violinist is going on dates with a guy for money/gifts.

8. Guys want to be players/date non-exclusively but lack the frame and don't make themselves the point of origin. Then they wonder why they fly girls out or fly to LatAm and are surprised at the first girl that is nice to them.

9. Game is more about what not to say, and then what TO say and appropriateness. Self-awareness is key.

10. Dating aggressively and being a player did not make me a worse person. I actually became nicer to women as now I had a glimpse into their struggles more than the average man, however I no longer feel sorry for them.

11. Most men lack frame and have to go online and say "If you like Asians you're weird" or "Latinas are crazy". You like what you like. No need to explain. No one cares anyway.

12. I'm seeing a trend in that women have more boyish hobbies and forms of entertainment. More girls than you think watch anime, play video games, and bodybuild.

13. The best advice is from the old school don juans. Men like Patrice O' Neal, Chateau Heartiste, and even our very own @FWPlayboy's advice still resonate.

14. Use protection at all costs. It’s surprising how many girls have STDs. No matter how pure they seem. It’s the city after all.

15. It’s true that most women aren’t attracted to most men, but if she’s on a date with you she is definitely rooting for you to win.

16. I have not seen any correlation with a woman’s behavior and demeanor and her performance in bed. My $.02.

17. It gets unfulfilling after a while. Every guy has a point where he is satisfied it seems.

18. Best plausible deniability is a dog, musical instrument, home bar, good view. In that order.

19. I still respect patriarchs and good men, even more than before even if they don’t agree with the player lifestyle.

20. Apartment should be clean and childish hobbies put away. I leave my Nintendo Switch out but that’s it. It helps create a space where she feels like she’s dealing with a well put together man not a college kid.

21. Oddly, getting ghosted after a date is better and less emasculating than a paragraph explaining why she’s no longer interested. Don’t know why.

22. Clubs are usually humiliation rituals for men unless you’re rolling with a group of girls or are there drunk with your girl just having fun.

23. During the holidays, girls try to fast-track relationships even if they just met you and it’s hard to keep up with their expectations.

24. The redpill makes a lot more sense everyday if you take the time to interpret it correctly. Sunning your butthole, esotericism, and eating liver do not make as much sense.

25. DJs, dance instructors, and other men who are alpha in their environment will keep an eye on you. Don’t step on any toes.

26. The dance scene is pretty depressing. Only one or two hot girls, the rest are old. Hot girls belong to the dance instructor basically. Learn basic dance but hedge your bets there.

27. Only native Latinas have mastered the “sexy but classy” way of carrying themselves. What I miss most about Puerto Rico.

28. Bartenders and staff won’t care if you’re bringing different girls throughout the week. Just tip well and be patient. If they ask just say “I’m just trying to find love like everyone else”

29. I see no correlation between a woman have a strong masculine father and her being a good gal. Some women I met come from broken families and were amazing and feminine. Some had a classically masculine present father and were slutty.

30. Besides a rare few exceptions, women will never look as good in person as they do in their pictures. For men the opposite is true.

31. You don’t want to know the messages that young women get when they post pictures of them going out even if it’s a conservative dress. Some real sickos out there.

32. If she’s likes you, she will watch you like a hawk on social media.

33. You have to plunge your hand into the filth of dating to find a good girl. Waiting around / saving yourself / acting like you’re above it are not conducive to success. My friends delete their dating apps and I come home to cooked meals and cheek kisses because I was relentless.

34. No one can teach you game. It’s not a script. They can only teach you the RULES of the game. Up to you to learn when to shoot the shot, play defense, and call timeout. Most guys never try.

35. At a bar:

1 girl alone - probably waiting on bartender or a friend, proceed w/ caution

2 girls - most likely hunting for men, chances are good

3+ girls - probably not worth your time

36. Some guys say that having female friends is good way to get social proof and meet other women but most girls are so flakey and have so many guys chasing them that it creates a whole new set of problems. Not to mention they’ll feel strange when a new girl is introduced into their dynamic.

37. I do not see much difference between the women from 100,000 population city and a 20-million metro are like Dallas, besides the women being more bored in smaller towns.

38. It’s a good idea to be polite and have some make-up remover and flushable wet wipes in your bathroom.

39. Dating has conditioned me to expect very little from women, so when I get into a relationship I forget that I have a personal nurse, barista, dog day care, personal assistant, back massager, chef, etc all in one person. And women are happy to do it.

40. Chick crack (astrology, MBTI, Love Languages) is becoming more and more effective. It’s almost ridiculous at this point.

41. Girls don’t really like gifts as much as you think. Your time and attention are usually enough. Gifts (flowers, trips, engagement rings) are used so she can flex on her friends.

42. Women do not care that you understand her culture. At all. Probably why #passportbros is taking off.

43. Girls usually disappear after two months. They either find something better or give up trying to lock you down. The girls who stay longer are either naive or see something really special in you.

44. I've noticed, especially after the pandemic, that girls need a lot more affection. Hugs, forehead kisses, boops on the nose, all of it. Almost to the point where it's exhausting. Reminds me of that Patrice joke "Aint that better.”

45. To add to 44, they don't enjoy it as much in public.

46. Girls who get breast implants when they're young tend to grow into them better.

47. Mainstream dating advice is about 10 years behind (give or take).

48. You have about 48 hours from when you get a girls number, to take her out or she'll forget about you.

49. St Valentine’s Day, Christmas, and birthdays etc. are adult report cards for women. Enjoy the show.

50. I’ve been “soft launched” more times than I care to count. Get used to that.

51. The flakiest women I deal with are Puerto Rican followed by Venezuelan (big community here). They show the most interest but are the most elusive. And I spent most of my childhood in PR. Don't know what it means.

52. Jumping to a second spot after you meet for drinks is very effective but you MUST monitor her drinking. You most likely will be trying to slow her down.

53. A lot of women avoid drinks because they know if they have even one they will sleep with you.

54. Good idea to hide controversial stuff in your home before she's over like weapons, political posters, etc. Do you want to get laid, or do you want to signal your group affiliation?

55. I've gamed a pornstar (by accident), influencers, lawyers, teachers, military girls, church girls, bartenders, female dating coaches, etc...besides minor tweaks, same rules apply.

56. There were a few times I was unusually cruel to several women by accident (I'm a sweet guy for the most part). They still message me and ask me how I'm doing. It works I guess, but it's not congruent to who I am.

57. I highly recommend taking your ego out of the equation or you will be constantly angry.

58. Beta bait is real. A lot of girls will be overtly sexual with you before you even meet. They love doing this. Change the subject or playfully dismiss. Don’t take the bait.

59. If you’re at a party or club and a girl just walks up and kisses you immediately look at your surroundings and watch your back. Something may be off.

60. It’s good to impose a time limit when approaching a girl in public.

Example: “Hey I have to get back to my friends but…”

Gets them talking more. Works for me I guess.

61. There’s no morality in dating. There are no “women/men ‘should’ act a certain way.”

“It is what it is, pumpkin” - Patrice O’Neal

Most women don’t understand why they do what they do. The explanations they offer if asked are usually wrong.

62. I’ve approached three women at the gym here. They were more social with me afterwards even though nothing came of it.

63. Don’t explain the game or the Red Pill (TRP) to women unless you want tears, or unless the woman is unusual. They need the illusion that you’re her night in shining armor.

64. During the whole coffee shop/drinks debate on here I met a girl at a coffee shop, decided I liked her, and we went for drinks to the bar across the street. We dated for 6 months after.

Solutions, bros, not arguments.

65. “Jumbotron test” is hard for me. I feel like Snapchat is a way around it? Best to not incriminate yourself.

66. Thick asians exist. Don’t give up.

67. Dating has become more subtle marketing than sales, if that make sense.

68. Knowing the concepts of game is like watching the world in “debug mode”. You see all the algorithms in peoples relationships and in social situations in real time. Coolest part is you can turn it off whenever you want.

69. Don’t understand the obsession with men pleasing women sexually (unless she is my girl). My purpose on this Earth is not to please women.

70. I understand why true TRP charge so much to help men. It can be frustrating. I tried unplugging several friends throughout the years and it was very blackpilling. Most people don’t want to change.

71. With dating apps you are subject to churn marketing. Was getting some 3/4s on hinge and stopped swiping. After a week I was getting 7s plus more matches. Keep in mind that it’s all a mindfuck to keep you hooked.

72. Some women will do everything that a girlfriend does; care for you, always be available, do favors, bring you snacks, wanna try her sexual fantasies on you BUT will still not be your girlfriend. Some girls will just come over and drink your alcohol and have starfish sex and give you the “talk” after a month.

73. Women have some crazy connections. I’ve gotten free VIP Box tickets for a baseball game with full catering, access to the best piano teachers in the city, and other crazy stuff simply because I was her man.

74. I still miss the good girls. Keeps a man hopeful. Hopefully they can forgive me one day.

75. I tend to get stuck in my system and over do it. Learn to step out of it when necessary.

75. 0 people care about your body count. Maybe a girl will ask you (don’t answer) here and there but it’s a vanity number.

76. Girls can’t tell the difference between $80-$120k

5’10 and 6’

6” and 7”

Don’t focus too much on numbers.

78. After you get more experience. Most girls will go “deep conversion” (term coined by Nick Krauser) with you which is pretty awesome. Will never settle for anything less than that.

79. In time I realized how utterly obsessed society is with who I decide to sleep with or date. Comical.

80. Leaning into my celebrity look-alike definitely has helped me, especially with Latinas. I recommend you do the same unless your celebrity look-alike is a cornball/loser.

81. I say cornball things to girls all the time and look dumb. I get over it, laugh at myself, and move on.

82. I am 90% dating apps and 10% real life/social circle. Keeps the social muscle strong but I live a very quiet, private life. If you knew me you'd understand why.

83. When I first got here I was going out 3 times a week and having about 9-10 drinks a week. My physique stayed the same (13-14% BF) but not sure if I recommend this. I am ex-Navy so my body and mind were used to this tempo. I also have a very low stress job now. It's definitely not sustainable longer than a year though.

84. I don't hate women and I don't love women. They just exist. They're normal people with jobs and problems. They make mistakes, they hurt us and we hurt them. Good ones and bad ones. In essence, they're just humans.

85. Most men seem to be “secret kings”. Making narratives in their head about their life, especially dating, with untested theories and self - aggrandizement. The men worth their salt have been humbled and are grounded in reality. “Man in the Arena” speech by Teddy Roosevelt comes to mind.

86. For all the guys who think that this lifestyle will isolate and alienate them from society, you are already isolated, humiliated, and looked down upon by default. What do you have to lose?

87. Rollo, Trump, Tates, Future, etc., are not here to save the west and make women better. They are here to suck attention and resources out of fools (“cucks” is one term you could use). It’s on you. You’re in this alone. We have your back. Be the hero.

88. I’m gonna tell you like my Captain did when we were doing exercises in the Arctic…OPSEC Shipmate OPSEC.

89. The anger phase will swallow you whole if you let it. Sadly, that’s where the manosphere grift makes most of its money. Look for solutions.

90. Not sure how ChatGPT will be used in the future in the dating battlefield, but it's very effective for answering the block paragraphs girls send. DM me for good prompts.

91. Personally for me, around 6 months into a relationship even if casual is where I start finding out the dark secrets (OF, lots of debt, genetic diseases, etc.).

92. Whether she's a 4/10 or an 8/10, stick to your system! It worked before and it will work again! It's battle tested! No need to get creative!

93. Good to way to know you have game is if you’re talking to a girl and afterwards your friends say, “Damn dude, you were putting down some serious game,” even though it felt you were just having a normal convo.

94. I don't want to be known for this so aside from twitter and my real close friends I keep it hidden as much as I reasonably can. Prefer being known for being a good sailor, a loyal friend, competent at my engineering job, a decent musician, etc. You know, things that actually matter.

95. My ratio of giving gifts to receiving gifts is 1/10.

96. When there's waterworks during intimacy girls always feel embarrassed and apologize or deny it. Cute.

97. You get a little success and suddenly everyone wants to give you advice.

98. "Sneaky fucker" game seems to be the operative state for most guys. Took a Vietnamese hottie to a friend's pool party and there was a weird 4 way (2guys/2girls) polyamory thing who were actively trying to get her drunk and take her back to the apartment behind my back. Hilarious.

99. "Stay away from the hello kitty chic/tatted girl/single mom/[insert race here]". If you have frame, you'll be fine.

100. Lastly, I want to say that we are all in the game together. They are half the population and they're not going away anytime soon. Get to work. Doesn't matter if you're old, young, married, single, taking a break, etc. you're playing the game. Be the hero.

Red Quest here. Most women want to be with and/or dating someone. Are you going to find out whether it’s going to be you?

“Action > ideology.” That is my ideology.

Reading through CaudilloNuclear’s thread, I realize that there is an unstated, accurate thesis running across much of it… problems that appear to be “problems with women” are “problems with you.” Most guys don’t want to improve themselves and the world. Complaining is easier.

If you read guys in the game, you’ll see a lot of commonalities, but also different emphases. What a guy emphasizes will depend on him, his environment, his life experience, the girls he’s around, the girls he prefers, the girls who prefer him, and a lot more. For that reason, it’s useful to pay attention to different guys, and to pay attention to guys at different stages in their game journey.