Independent date with Ms. Slav's friend from home

Friday night I saw Ms. Slav's friend from her home country... we'll call her Home Friend. She's been hitting me up, although I did extend the invitation to dinner. Pretty straightforward deal, she took a car over, and I meant to have dinner first and then f**k her... instead, we spent like an hour and a half f**king in various configurations. I didn't last very long during the first penetrative session, as she is young and so so tight. And... she told me that she has an IUD now. We know what that information, volunteered, means. I spent a long time on foreplay, warmup, spanking, etc., based on her feedback from last time and the fact that she's complained about college guys being in a hurry to get in her and then not in a hurry to get her off. So I deliberately took a long time with her, ramping her up from normal-world psychology to sex-world psychology.

I'm not sure if, the first time Ms. Slav and I had a threesome with Home Friend, Home Friend was a kind of peace offering because of Ms. Slav's sex rampage. Or if Ms. Slav genuinely wanted Home Friend to have a good sex experience, which she seems not to have had. Home Friend seems to be very interested in sex with men, but has not had satisfying sex with men. She also seems to like somewhat gentler sex than some girls... like Ms. Slav... Home Friend likes it very firm, but not as violent as Ms. Slav likes. Home Friend is more normal than Ms. Slav, except that she has Ms. Slav as a friend and influence, and Ms. Slav spreads her high sexual charge to whoever is around her.

Most girls are followers, and if their environment is sexually charged and sex positive, they become more sexual. If their environment is prudish and sterile, they become more prudish and sterile. Skilled players learn to create an environment that is sexually charged without being too overt, direct, or gross. Most chicks are creatures of the imagination, rather than visually-oriented creatures like men. Ms. Slav is normatively highly sexed and sex positive, which is unusual... she's got much more leadership and preference than typical chicks. I like her. Ms. Slav likes that I know what I'm doing and that, unlike most guys, I "get" her. For a lot of guys, it takes a long time to understand chicks and be competent.

With Home Friend, I bought her a vibe and told her to use it on her clit while she was bent over and I was f**king her, and the results were spectacular. She said, "Sex with you is amazing." It's always flattering when a chick says that, but I don't think it is as true as she thinks... I think Home Friend simply hasn't run into a guy who knows what he's doing in bed. I'm competent, and she's just used to super young, inexperienced guys. Probably with some super young, semi-experienced guys who still take their cues from porn. I don't know how many guys she's f**ked... I don't care, either.

I'm just calmer, more directive, and more knowledgeable than those young guys who take too many cues from porn. Porn primarily caters to male tastes, desires, and fantasies... and professional porn very rarely represents the buildup normal chicks need. Home Friend and I talked quite a lot about that. I told her that, with young inexperienced guys, she needs to train them to do what she wants. She resisted that idea, which is not surprising because she is lackadaisical and doesn't even know herself, let alone anyone else. Like most girls, she wants someone to lead her. Ms. Slav is much more advanced and mature than Home Friend. But I gave Home Friend some pointers about how to express herself without being dominant and gave her some suggestions for videos to watch with guys she likes but who are bad in bed.

Most men have to learn how chicks work through trial and error (like I did). It would be nice for chicks to take guys aside and be like, "Do this, this, and this, and think that, that, and that." But chicks hate leading or educating in bed, and most guys don't try to learn what to do or how to slow down, figure out the chick's feedback loops, etc. Truly a situation that foments frustration.

Home Friend did have several incredible, whole-body-shaking orgasms from cunnilingus. The kind where she can't talk for a few minutes after. The kind that bonds a girl to a man. After each one of the monster orgasms, I either f**ked her some more (my last orgasm I didn't think I could have... I thought I was spent... but feeling her p***y around my fingers and her moans and the feel of her body coming got me up for one more round). It took Home Friend a lot of time to lose her nervousness. I've been through the process of breaking in sexually inexperienced girls a bunch of times, so I was accepting of her nerves, and that made the whole thing flow better.

With the "sex with you is amazing comment," basically, she's inexperienced and is mistaking competence with being "amazing." I have some tricks and techniques available and am good at reading the feedback loop between her and me. She reads that as being amazing. She also said that guys her age would rather play videogames than f**k girls. This might be flattery towards me... or it might be true... I can't say. She seemed surprised by me being uninterested in professional sports or TV shows. We talked about life's highest and best experiences and how those are rarely mediated by screen. I have a sort of "guru" spiel that I've given too many times. Chicks listen to it in the post-sex, good-feeling moment... and the next they're back on Instagram and Facebook, pissed off that Becky has such a good picture of her in a bikini on a beach vacation. Why isn't MY life like that???

Saturday morning I sent Home Friend on her way. She wants to make plans with me for next week, but I have Peaches scheduled for Tuesday (thankfully not Monday, today, as I need a break). Saturday night I went out with Ms. Slav. Awkwardly, Home Friend was messaging me while I was with Ms. Slav. Fortunately, I make it a practice of not looking at my phone and even turning it to do-not-disturb mode, so the one did not see the messages from the other.

I don't think Home Friend and I mentioned Ms. Slav at all. A chick may be inexperienced, but that does not mean she is not devious or wicked. Home Friend has communicated a lot to me about who she is and what she's about. What a girl does to others, she will eventually do to you. Many guys want to ignore this basic lesson in the heat of passion and in the positive feelings from railing a new chick. But the hottest passion inevitably cools... who are you left with then? For my purposes with Home Friend, it doesn't matter... and Home Friend doesn't have the experience t perceive this. Plus, she has her own dualistic mating strategy to contend with, in which she wants investment from the kind of men who are least likely to invest in her.

Home Friend doesn't do ANY pics or videos, so I'm guessing she's used to opsec. I want em, but she's firmly resistant. Most chicks can be persuaded and find sex tapes flattering. Not this one. Not right now. Seriously. I have no pics of her and haven't friended her Facebook and she hasn't friended me. Very unusual behavior for young chicks. Ms. Slav has said Home Friend loves social media, too, and that Home Friend is on it all the time.

Except with me.

Much as I like making sex tapes, if a chick is adamant, her wishes must be respected.

I told Home Friend to stop dating college guys cause they're convenient and to get online. Most girls, from what I hear, are too inept to do this. We also talked about how to get guys to talk about their sexual interests and experiences (she seemed surprised to be getting advice about how to date other guys from a guy she's f**ked... I think she is used to mate guarding). Inexperienced guys won't be able to talk much about sex or, most importantly for Home Friend, foreplay. Ms. Slav seems to need less foreplay than the average girl. It's fun to make Ms. Slav wait, but after five minutes she's wet and ready. Home Friend likes much more prolonged foreplay and, from what I can tell, penetrative sex is much better for her after she's come once already.

Chicks, man. They're all different. I wish I'd known when I was younger. But when I was younger, I was like a lot of high school and college boys... the ones Home Friend is disenchanted with... always pressed for time and space, always worried about someone walking in, always stuck in a car or in some other uncomfortable spot. A weekend alone could be a luxury oasis. I was too caught up in ego and performance anxiety to properly let flow happen.

I'm not going to lie: I've thought about doing a branch swing from Ms. Slav to Home Friend. The risk is that 1. Ms. Slav may be extremely mad and cut both of us off—an outcome that would not kill me but that I do not yet favor. 2. Home Friend may prefer me as undercover lover to official going steady guy. She is too socially normally to want a guy my age in her social universe, I think. 3. Home Friend is getting attached TOO fast. 4. Overall, Home Friend is less mature than Ms. Slav, I judge. 5. I don't want to be in an in-depth relationship with a girl her age, however tight she is.

What I'm doing with Home Friend is unethical in the context of non-monogamy, or at the very least against the spirit of what we are doing. Guys in the game learn what rules should apply to wingmen, e.g. the guy who opens calls the shots. The guy who opens two girls, gets to chase the girl who most interests him, and the other guy has to let the opener chase first. Otherwise, the two guys are going to have crossfire problems and piss each other off. In non-monogamy, whoever brings a person in doesn't have control over that person exactly, but should have priority over the secondary person. Ms. Slav should have priority over Home Friend, but I have not given that to her (that is what I discuss in Priorities and Ms. Slav’s challenges in non-monogamy). In my defense, Ms. Slav has f**ked a million people in the last several months. Ms. Slav has not been following priority rules, so I haven't done that either. Once you start down this path, it's hard to stop it. Not impossible. I have seen couples pull back, have a reconciliation, and agree to prioritize properly in the future. Ms. Slav may be like that. To make a primary partnership arrangement work, each person has to quell their immediate passion and ensure the other person is prioritized. Otherwise, the arrangement fails.

Home Friend also illustrates how the first bang is always the hardest. After the first bang, you're a known quantity and you don't "count." For this reason, I've had many chicks swing around like a comet, banging me when they're between boyfriends or horny, etc.

Ms. Slav may also be swinging around to greater interest in me (see next post), but do I feel the same of her? Less so. Age disparity is too great. Unless I just want to keep spending my life f**king and chasing chicks. Maybe I do. But I'm not so sure. It's less satisfying than it was. Don't get me wrong, f**king Home Friend was great. But in a way, it also feels like season 6 of a TV show, when the writers have pretty much exhausted the initial premise.

I forgot to wash and change the sheets between Home Friend on Friday and Ms. Slav on Saturday. Or I didn't bother? If Ms. Slav noticed she didn't say anything.