Brad P's dating education memoir "Diary of a Pickup Artist (PUA)"
Brad P's dating education memoir "Diary of a Pickup Artist (PUA)"
I've read too many boring, unsubtle field reports (FRs), but Brad P's are the opposite, full of life and hilarity... someone should turn his memoir into an audiobook, and sell it, cause if the audiobook is well done, it'll sell to thousands of guys who can't read (video games rot their minds), but do like a good story, will buy. Brad P has many good stories, and everything in his memoir is at the intermediate and advanced stages, which is precisely the material there's too little of. The best part is the incipient consensual non-monogamy material, which he doesn't develop (the preconditions weren't right at the time), but I spot them, and talk about them later on, in the best part of this essay. One example of advanced material, he writes of sleeping with a girl who was at a concert with her brother, and telling her brother to (improbably) hit on hot Brazilian chicks. Brad_P says,
I think the guy knew he had no chance with the Brazilian girls, but he was doing the typical "Fake Player Routine" that most guys will do in this situation. Admitting that he doesn't have the skills to nail the Brazilians is not an option, so he just pretends he's gonna go for it. I framed it like I was doing him a favor running wing man so he could nail the 2 hotties. Like his sister was in the way or something. It's always very easy to get a guy out of your way if he's doing the fake player routine.
I don't think it's common to run into a girl out with her brother like that but he did admirably, and part of being a player is perceiving what to try in unusual circumstances. I don't think I'd have managed the brother nearly as well. It's cool to see how a guy succeeds in situations where I think I'd probably have failed.
There is no clean way to create a coherent response to Brad P's memoir, so I'm going to post some reactions to individual sections that resonate with me. In him I recognize many of my own experiences, like when he lays this girl on the second date (in a van!), and he sees...
All the sudden there's no resistance. She just had it in her head that we would wait until a certain time, and she would not budge on that. This happens all the time. A girl will make this rule in her head that she won't have sex until a certain amount of time has passed. For some it's a "3 date rule." For others it's a certain number of hours spent together in a night. It's a weird thing. But sometimes you just have to wait it out until the "countdown to sex" clock has run out of time.
He notices a lot of things consistent with what I notice. It's nice to read a guy who gets past the beginner stages. Beginners should read Brad P's memoir now, to see what's possible, and after a year of consistent effort & practice, to see what they should be doing. He was active in something like 2005 - 2008, so you will see irrelevant references to "MySpace", but the stories are timeless.
The whole night I was wearing a tight black t shirt that says "SERIAL ASS GRABBER" in huge block letters. I got a few custom t shirts made like this that say weird shit. The idea with my style is that I want maximum social impact. Maybe I get a few bad reactions here and there, but I know I'm gonna get high impact. I've been a little nervous about wearing this ass grabber shirt, but I went with it. Dudes this shit was off the chain. Girls were coming up to me asking me to grab their ass. It happened like 5 or 6 times. My analysis on this now is this: It may or may not have worked by itself. But when combined with great style and the huge social proof of rolling with so many models, it amplified things a bit. People just can't believe what they are seeing. Girls want me to grab their ass and men are just completely dumbfounded by the idea of it and the effectiveness. It flies in the face of every piece of nice guy programming in their being. No one can ignore it.
I did something less bold but still attention getting two months ago. If you have the right attitude and environment for these things, the peacocking can work and men might be "completed dumbfounded" by effectiveness. Most people live in their tiny boxes and think they are free and living up to their potential, but most in fact aren't. Most can't. It is hard to live up to potential without a peer group offering criticism and support, which is where the better online game communities can come into play. The network matters.
The good news is that Brad P's stories are awesome, the bad news is that I think his success is not fundamentally about what he says and does, but about how he seems, how he presents himself, his vibe, etc. It's not what he says, it's who he is. I wonder if his videos are still out there, because as much as I'm a text guy, I bet there's a ton to learn there.
He understands women,
"Hmm, I think you're not really the type to wear clear high heels and a stripper dress. I think you're more the type for black lingerie. You're a naughty girl with an overactive imagination, but you're also a classy kind of girl."
She liked that. I guess you could call it a sexual cold read. I love to do cold reads that relate to the sexual dichotomy of women. The good girl/bad girl tension. Here is the theory behind it: All women have a horny pervert inside, but the world tells them to be a "good girl" and so they eventually become consumed by the inner conflict. They want to get fucked and be slutty SO BAD, but they're not allowed. Eventually they become sexually frustrated. You can be the valve that lets that pressure out. These girls are bubbling cauldrons of conflict and sexual energy. They spend a lot of energy trying to just hide how horny they are.
If there is a downside to the Brad P memoir it's that we get BradP fully formed, and not much about the totality of his journey. What was he like when he was soft and weak? He mentions his "Black Book", which I couldn't find until someone linked it in the comments... I'm not a huge fan of canned routines (which are in his "black book"), but, delivered well, they can be powerful... even today, lots of guys like the Cube, like cold reads, etc. But delivery > words, and it's like 10x as important. The maestro knows all the notes and knows how to play his instrument, and the knowledge of both allows him to innovate... to have many tools at hand, and to choose the right one, is its own beauty.
I did find BradP's book INSTANT ATTRACTION and it says what a lot of guys have figured out,
most men have never been taught how to interact with women in an attractive way. You can't learn it in school or from your parents. Ask your friends or coworkers and you're bound to get useless advice like "Be respectful," or "Buy her a drink." That kind of advice is vague and counterproductive. We've all tried focusing on being respectful. It's a one way ticket to the friend zone.
The beta playbook must be effective enough to somehow persist. Evolutionarily, you'd think it'd be wiped out... that it hasn't been is an interesting social and cultural puzzle to me. I don't have the answer, though I think about the question. I skimmed INSTANT ATTRACTION and like it, but a guy can't learn delivery from text alone, and while his openers are clever, it's the delivery that matters... he had some DVDs back in the day (showing how time-tested the material is here), and maybe those went through good/bad delivery, body language, etc.
Maybe there are good PUA examples on YouTube now... they're needed as much as ever... a few weeks ago I went to this weird, awful party some otherwise cool chicks put on, and all the guys there oozed "loser," to the extent I had to get out, fast, with the Irish Exit. Why can so few guys get it together and figure out how to lay chicks? I don't know, it's a mystery, since the info is out there. I speculate that most guys simply don't care much. Half the population is also below IQ 100, and, below that threshold, guys can't comprehend simple text. IQ scores have been falling for decades. So a guy who wants to improve needs to be able to read, to understand, and then to implement what he reads... a real tough slope for most guys. Which means market opportunities for those of us who can learn the game, practice what we learn, and get into the recursive improvement loop... which most guys can't get to. Market opportunities should be ruthlessly exploited.
Back to BradP, "These party girls just want everyone to make out with each other, IF you're in their secret club that is." He gets women. I've been on the inside, and I've been on the outside, and inside is better. The shit I do, is just next level to this, or maybe adjacent level. It's an extension of the ideas he's already developing, back then (to my knowledge I've not read anything of his before, although who knows, maybe I ran into some of his posts way back when...I've not kept careful notes on everything I've learned and where I've learned it from.)
Reading BradP's memoir got me thinking about how bad and wrong almost everything said about women, sex, and dating is in the media... including books, TV, movies, the "press," etc. Then I read anon Internet random Brad_P and he is dead on about so many topics. Why does no one understand chicks? I think chicks often don't understand or will admit to what they respond to. Chicks are engaged in self-deception much of the time, and are so obsessed with social positioning + status that they frequently can't admit to what they want in any larger scenario. The media is filled with mystification, which many guys prefer to knowledge. Knowing what chicks really like and respond to will blow many guys's minds... we can't handle it... we're not ready to exit the matrix... our egos can't handle it... we prefer the bullshit to the reality. Brad_P comes along talking about reality and he gets famous by pickup standards but mostly he is ignored. Most guys don't want to learn the game, which is a huge market opportunity I've exploited the f**k out of, but, if efficient markets hypothesis is real, shouldn't the market adjust? Yet it hasn't. A puzzle, puzzle, puzzle. Girls are so grateful to me when I give them permission to do the shit they really want to do... shouldn't other guys come to understand this?
"What's this guy do for work?" I wonder. Dating coaching, yeah, but anything else? How is he out until 2a.m. or later, so many weeknights? His energy is admirable, too, cause without external aids I get impatient and try to close prematurely, or get the number and get out. His lifestyle seems incompatible with career.
He describes many women as 9s or 10s, so I read his scale as more optimistic than mine, but, I believe hot to be hot, and him to be getting hot girls. If he is a quarter as funny in real life as he is in his writing, I bet he kills. He makes me want to ride skateboards (never learned). Back then NYC was cheaper, he says it's a hard place for daygame / pickup, but hard compared to where? He has the ratio in his favor... the fact that sociosexually unrestricted and adventurous girls move to NYC... where's better? Could be Miami (I've not spent the time there to know). But, NYC seems to have logistics that favor hookups, too, because everyone can drink/take drugs without having to drive. Everyone seems to think somewhere else will have "easier" game.
The word "confuse*" occurs 13 times, so it's a concept Brad P likes,
I gave the ballerina chick 2 rules for seducing girls earlier. Rule 1 - Everything must seem like it just happened. Rule 2 - The girl must always be a bit confused. I explained how girls don't like to feel like a slut and being confused helps for this. She's a really confident girl so she didn't really get the slut thing, but she seemed to know what to do when the time was right
I dn't know if "confused" is exactly right here, I'd say it's more that girls don't like explicit talk about much of anything (until they're being fucked, that is), which is one of the many reasons "metoo" is bullshit and much "consent" talk is too. Girls don't want to have guys ask them questions like a lawyer, they want guys who "just get it." You don't need to say, "Let's go back and have the sexual intercourse." "Come back to see my guitar" "come back to see this cool thing" is all you need. "Watch a movie." Doesn't matter. Puff a bowl. Girls love uncertainty and "maybe." ("Maybe:" Brad P uses it 87 times!)
More confusion,
This is where you say "Hey let me draw your picture" to a white girl. Then you draw an Asian girl with a kimono and braids and the cone shaped hat. Then present it to the girl with much pride and dignity. When she says she's not Asian, you say "Oh really? I'm so sorry, I thought you were." This routine is an attraction builder because it is random and confusing. Many parts of my game actually are intended to get the girl as confused as possible, in a fun way of course.
I think it is only an attraction builder if delivered properly and cheekily, but think about THIS description Brad P gives of his seduction, versus what a normal guy does. A normal guy is all like, "Where did you grow up?" "What do you do for work?" "Oh, that's cool that you majored in communications." BORING. Girls are on autopilot and their pussies are clamping shut. Meanwhile Brad P comes along and things don't make sense, wholly, but the girl feels alive. I can't tell you how many chicks have told me I'm "not like other guys." Sometimes it's just an IOI, often I think they mean it.
Girls are usually awful at seducing other girls, something I know and BradP does too. The other night I was at a sexually charged party with this chick who isn't used to my ways, and a lot of the people there were on MDMA. The girl I was with had also had a point, enough to make her talk about her interest in women, and how sexy she finds them, and at some point we're sitting in a secluded area, and this other girl "Beth," stops by and throws her legs over mine. The girl I'm with starts asking her where she's from! She does the most boring conversations, about work, where you're from etc. She is so pretty she's never needed to learn any game at all, she can show up and be pretty and that's more than enough. Beth does a key bump in front of us and I tell my girl, "Ask her to make out." My girl is too scared or something. Finally I make out with Beth, and my girl won't. I did not f**k her that night, fortunately, because that would have created some other complications, and she was on her period, also fortunately, cause otherwise I might have. Girls are too inept to properly seduce and then escalate. Finding one who will seduce and escalate is gold.
I am so not into number closing right now. It's almost like I'm completely against it these days, hehe. It's just so fucking erratic, and why bother when you can get the sex on the first night on the regular. But I take her info, what the hell.
In Red Quest comments I was talking to "Humble Drumble," who says tries for first-date lays. I replied that lots of girls need 4 - 10 hours of time to get to sex, and if you push to lay them on the first date, they'll drop off. Mr. Drumble replied that he is "getting about 2 or 3 new first dates a week from cold approach and online dating. If I were waiting with each of these girls until the second date to bang them, then I’d be going on 4 to 6 dates a week — practically every evening of my week would be booked." I replied with the only sensible thing, "If you are happy with the quality and quantity then keep doing what you’re doing" (many Red Quest posts have good comments, and you should look at them, they're nothing like the Reddit comments, which are as ugly as people who use Reddit). Brad P wasn't into number closing cause he didn't need to be. I've tended to number close girls I'm kind of lazy and don't usually do the mass cold approaching Brad P does. I'm more interested in cultivating leads and bringing them into the non-monogamy social infrastructure than I am in laying and leaving them. Different styles and this is not criticism of Brad P, who was a better pickup guy than I ever was.
If Brad P were active in the last ten years, I wonder if he'd have tried sex clubs and non-monogamy, as a supplement to bars &tc. He's partway there already, with all the FMF he does, and then there are seedlings like,
I see Promo and the blond chick flirting. He's barely doing anything and her attraction level is going up. He can't fuck her cause he's got his girlfriend there. So I wander over and sit. I tell Promo this girl is horny and we should double team her sometime. He says yeah. She's looking at us kinda funny. I say, "Yeah but it can't be tonight cause of what you've got going on over there" meaning that his girlfriend the bartender is starting to look over at us. The blond chick says "Oh you know this guy has tons of girls, he's not worried about her." Promo says "ME? What about Brad??" I say "Yeah, do you have any idea who you're actually talking to to right now?" She looks at us all confused and we laugh our asses off. It's become a funny little inside joke between Promo and I that I'm a seduction teacher who fucks 5 girls a week and no one around knows it but him, ha ha ha.
"We should double team her sometime" is still an offer most chicks don't get. The threesome, offered correctly in the correct time and place, is today still a power move, years after the book was published (and it is another market inefficiency smart guys can exploit, while prim guys can't). Most guys can't handle it, and it is of great power in the right time and place. I see almost no FRs mentioning threesomes, because most guys can't make FMF happen, however much they might want it. Most guys can't both train chicks and help the chicks to unlock who they really want to be, to have the sex they really want to have.
There are 2 girls I've fucked before in the club including the fetish model chick, who I had to ditch over some stupid shit a week ago. A friend of mine says to me "Hey, come meet these girls. The red haired one is mine, but you can take the brunette, I've already fucked her." Hehe, my friends are some sick fuckers, especially this dude. He wants to just pass all the girls around
His friend is figuring out true abundance. Or maybe he just gets off on this stuff. Whatever it is, I notice it, because it's what I figured out how to do much later. Very few guys can do this.
Today, Brad P's website is a placeholder, and he's deleted his forum content. It says "Brad P. is not longer coaching live and cannot be contacted. The 30/30 Club, eBooks, and seminars will be available here forever. The 30/30 Forum will be online forever," but the books and seminars appear to be available by sketchy pirate sites only. Lack of widespread availability is a shame, given the quality of BradP's work (you are better off reading the best stuff than you are the dumb things people post on sites like reddit, where ugly people gather).
It led to a discussion of relationships where I was able to convey my positive opinion on sexually liberated women in an indirect way to my girl. This is an important part of preventing that slutty feeling before it starts
Regular readers will not be surprised that I excel at this. Encouraging girls to be sluts will yield more and better sex. That more guys can't or don't do this, surprises me still. I guess guys want to try to shame the girls they're not getting anyway.
If you spend a lot of time around hot chicks, it makes the fear go away and you will communicate comfort to all women.
It took me too long to really get used to hot chicks, and to not let beauty intimidate me. Hot chicks are still people, with all the quirks and needs of people. For any given hot chick, someone is going to f**k her... and I'm going to find out if it's going to be me. For a lot of us talking to hot chicks is a skill. Hot chicks and their beauty is a kind of Internet troll, you have to get used to ignoring their beauty... until it's time to f**k.
Brad P speaks to using different styles, depending on the girl... with one story, he lets the girl do most of the talking, and tells us,
That one was all about being a passenger. The girl wanted to fuck me, I just had to not screw it up. That's a good time to use direct/natural styles. So it’s good to have those in the skill set. When you vibe with girls all night long, your state will be high enough to support natural and direct styles. Conversely, I will use routines on day4 after I've already fucked a girl if I feel it's necessary. Scripted game, natural game, direct game, confusion game, it's all good stuff and you should be open to all of it. Use whatever works.
It's not only whatever works, it's about what the situation seems to call for... he is a guy with many tools, not just one. A man with a hammer will be stymied by the need for a screwdriver or saw, while a complete man will have those tools and many more.
It's normal to assume you can't just take some girl you just met to the beach and have her start blowing you within 10 minutes. Our social conditioning as men tells us that's not gonna fly. I'm here to tell you it happens a lot, so don't assume. You'd be better off paying close attention to the signs, and calibrating your game according to the situation.
Strongly agree, and I've spent a lot of my life redefining what's normal, and realizing that what's possible is far beyond what young Red Quest could have imagined. The other day, Mr. Blackwing mentioned on Twitter that he likes reading wild nightgame reports because they remind him of what he can do. Of what's possible. Learn to calibrate and much more is possible than most young guys imagine. Most of us don't understand chicks for shit, and we get outcomes consistent with our ignorance. Learn chicks, and the universe's legs will open for you.
Here's the deal with this flake-out. Yes I know it's out of the blue and that's really disappointing cause she was in the bag for sure, but this is what we sign up for when we play the game. There's gonna be flakes. It'll happen when you least expect it. 19 year old girls are HIGHLY UNSTABLE. Furthermore, young attractive American women are some of the most inconsiderate people who have ever walked the earth. I know this. I accept this fact, and I fuck lots of them anyway cause it's fun. Every once in a while I get a flake, so I'll take the good with the bad
Whenever I read some asshat writing about why there aren't more female startup founders, more female CEOs, more female board members, I find myself thinking to all the chicks who have ever been unstable, flaked, etc. etc. Brad P gets what all players do, that "young attractive American women are some of the most inconsiderate people who have ever walked the earth..." and there is nothing to be done about it, cause they're hot. Ugly chicks are forever going on about "male privilege," which is like talking about a nickle when there's a hundred-dollar bill labeled "female privilege" right next to it. Then there are the older chicks complaining about how men don't want to wife them up, while ignoring their behavior throughout their 20s. It's comedy, made funnier by the chicks's failure to understand their own contribution to their situation. All chicks have beta backups in their phones, who will marry them.
There are many stories about monumental shit tests... I don't tend to go for girls who do this... maybe I've missed out... he's got some clever replies to some monumental shit tests... good for him for getting these girls. Brad P spends way more time in bars than me. Could be he did it right, I did it wrong.
These are some highlights, but they are only highlights and there is much more to be enjoyed. I downloaded the book because Nash was talking about it... maybe he will do a post... I will link to it if he does. Today, FastSeduction.com is still up, in all of its 2004-era glory, but its forums appear broken. The player who completes his arc, his destiny is to age out of the game, leaving behind him a few cultural artefacts, most of them, like all his experiences, lost to the weathering of time.
Also, BradP's "Fashion Bible." Normally I wouldn't post these materials but they are not for sale anywhere, from what I see.
The Book of Pook. Not by BradP, but also better than 99.9% of the shit guys say online about game.
If you like learning game and learning about the game (the two are related but not identical), you might also like this.
